To wonder why people 'don't drive'

[ZX81user]

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

@corythatwas i take your point and as a pp put it better than i did; it's one thing to know how to drive and not need to, than to make a choice to never learn.

If i lived and worked in central London or Manchester, i would not waste my money on a car. Public transport in some places is excellent and I could hire one if i needed to. If my circumstances changed and i needed a car, then i could get a car.

It's not a choice if you have never been able to afford it, or cannot do it for a physical or mental reason.

But those who could learn but just...... don't. I do find them a bit short sighted and unwise. Public transport or walking for me in fact is always a first choice. I enjoy both. But driving makes a huge difference to my life.

the one thing I wanted to do was to be able to drive. I did it as soon as I was able. Why would you not learn anyway?!

Because people are different?

It's actually a very good life skill, and is often a sought-after skill when you are seeking employment

Not for any job I've ever wanted.

I also find it weird that someone would purposely not ever learn to drive, and think it's odd when someone can't drive

Ah well, we're all judgemental at times, I guess.

I know we are all different, but I think people are entitled to think it's strange. If it doesn't bother people (not being able to drive, or cycle, or swim) then why do they get sniffy and offended when people think it's odd

I expect to be thought odd. It's not the norm, I agree. So I'm bound to stand out for that.

I can't fly a plane, or drive a bus, but I wouldn't get upset if people thought it strange that I couldn't!

Me neither

If people were so secure in their life choices, they wouldn't get offended. Deep down, they probably wish they could drive, and when you question it, you're hitting a raw nerve

I am quite lazy and have to see the point of doing something before I'll do it. I have no reason to believe I couldn't learn if I went for it.

You can still acquire the skill of driving, without having your own car

To what purpose?

Here in the states everyone drives - although I have heard there are some people in NYC who might not.

In school they all take Driver’s Ed classes at age 15 and get a permit to drive. They learn the rules of the road and watch videos of gruesome crashes. At my boy’s school the driver’s ed teacher gave them all driving lessons, I’m not sure if other schools do this. At 16 they get an intermediate Driver's License and at 18 they have their unrestricted license.

I believe it would be a really good idea to have driver’s education for teens in UK schools, and of course automatic vehicles.

Crumbling, true that circumstances may change. But on the whole relatively unlikely that they will change so you suddenly have to live in a remote village if you have never done so before. But possible, I suppose.

Otoh there is one thing most of us do know and that is that most of us will get to a day when we are no longer able to drive. What strikes me as short-sighted is people getting set into a lifestyle that is totally dependent on the car and then making no provision at all for failing eyesight or other effects of old age.

One of my friends doesn’t drive. It really pisses me off that she expects me to drive and collect her and drop her off, never offers to pay for petrol and or acknowledges fact everyone runs around after her. She has no concept how much fuel costs or how driving can be tiring. I find non drivers (through choice) a bit self centred

US driving stats:-

www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-teen-driving

33% of deaths among 13 to 19-year-olds in 2010 occurred in motor vehicle crashes.

16-year-olds have higher crash rates than drivers of any other age.
56% of teens said they talk on the phone while driving.

Statistics show that 16 and 17-year-old driver death rates increase with each additional passenger.

Only 44% of teens said they would definitely speak up if someone were driving in a way that scared them.

DS1 doesn't drive. He's 32. He lives, and has always lived in areas with good public transport. He has started lessons on a few occasions, most recently because he and DDiL have just had PFB, but he soon gives up. He can't get motivated to do it and he's quite happy with buses and trains. DDiL drives and they have a car so she's happily using that herself.

I've been at him about it since he was 17, to no avail. DS2 otoh was chomping at the bit to learn and passed first time at 17.

www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=3051

The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 25 or so. In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational part.

^ Might not be such a good idea to put them behind the wheel of a car at 16yo!

One of my friends doesn’t drive. It really pisses me off that she expects me to drive and collect her and drop her off, never offers to pay for petrol and or acknowledges fact everyone runs around after her. She has no concept how much fuel costs or how driving can be tiring. I find non drivers (through choice) a bit self centred

She's a CF. I have never done this.

Always get one of these every so often.

We live in London. We both grew up in large cities. We both couldn’t afford to learn as teens but had decent transport so not an issue. We’re now early 30s with young DC and still don’t have a need for a car.

It is actually possible to be independent without a licence. Many posts talk about non-drivers always asking for lifts or not being able to get everything without a car and so on. Well, not us. If we need to shift lots of stuff (not often, but e.g. moving house) then we pay for that service. We get groceries and large items (furniture and so on) delivered and can buy top up shops for food within walking distance. If we go out for the day it will be public transport, and taxis if we want them. If we needed to get to hospital it’s not far and we can get a taxi.

Also, I am a nervous driver, I did a couple of practices and I get very nervous so it would take me some time to build up my confidence. DH wants to learn and circumstances have changed meaning we are able to afford lessons soon, but that would be to have a licence to hire cars, we don’t have a need to own a car in London (need to figure out how we’d keep up his skill until eligible to hire, maybe those driving confidence courses...). If we ever leave London then it would be really useful to be able to drive and I plan on learning, but taking my time as I don’t want to be nervous on the roads. Until then we seem to be managing just fine, and no one who knows us has to ferry us anywhere. Also I’m sure the rate at which we get taxis is still cheaper than running a car.

If I NEEDED to learn to drive (not sure how that'd happen) I would learn. Better than learning and not driving for decades. At least my skills would be fresh then for when I actually needed them.

MyDcAreMarvel Sun 06-May-18 16:20:19
"It must be very difficult to have UK holidays without a car. Yes you could get a train to cities. But rural holidays, exploring the Lake District, Cornwall etc and just day trips in general."

As I already pointed out, no, not that difficult. You just plan ahead, there are railways, there are buses and both Cornwall and the Lake District are wonderful walking country.

As for day trips, the beauty is you don't have to get back to where you set off to pick up the car, so you can walk to the next train or bus stop and go home from there. I live in Hampshire, can easily walk from Southampton to Winchester, or from Winchester to Micheldever, or between train stations in the New Forest.

If any of you would like to pay for my lessons and buy me a car then please do, because I definitely can't afford to. But then I forgot that on Planet MN no one earns less that 50 grand a year and we all have the bank of mummy and daddy throwing money and houses at us.

I don't drive (learning currently, but it will be a slow process), I never expect anybody to give me lifts, except for dh if he's around to help ferry His kids to activities. I get bus, taxi or walk. If we go for long journey it is as a family and dh drives. If friends offer me lifts when we meet up I accept and pay petrol or buy them a couple of drinks, but only if they have offered. If I can't get to a meet up due to it being too far, I decline, and rearrange near me. Usually my friends are happy with that.

Yes on planet Mumsnet driving is essential, and everybody should be able to drive, if they don't they are looked down upon as CF who probably scrounge lifts off people.

Tried learning when I was 18 - it scared the shit out of me. Then had a serious injury that required rehab. Then lived walking distance to work and everything I needed. Then moved to London.

I now have twins and don’t live in London any more and really want to learn but I’m terrified. I don’t ask people for lifts, other than DH who really likes driving (he only learned two years ago)

The only people I know who rely on others for lifts are elderly people who have lived their whole lives around the car and can't cope when they are no longer able to drive. Understandable, of course, but doubt dh and I will end up like that: the solutions we thought up when we were in our 20s are likely to keep on working in old age.

I learned late. I did fine without but DC was getting older and taking her to certain activities was impossible. I did hate the winter not having a car and prices of public transport here just keep rising. Especially as DH is increasing away.

I know a few people who don’t drive and don’t have any intention as they have people on standby to drive them all over. One would never ever take public transport and is still driven about by parents and husband (she is 40) - I think it’s going to be a shock one day when there isn’t someone available.

I have a licence and I definitely found it useful and liberating to drive when the children were small. They are older and are able to walk further distances or cycle. I actually find driving stressful and if I was on the road, you'd be wishing I didn't drive as I'm that bad.It is for everyone else's safety if I don't drive!

I passed my driving test at 18 (courtesy of my parents). I bought my first car age 31... after the birth of my first child and moving to a more rural location. (And I took a few driving lessons to get me used to driving...)
I didn't use or need a car up to this point as I lived / worked within good public transport links.
So if you live in an urban area, there is really no need for a car / driving licence. Anybody can acquire a licence if they need or want to at any point in their lives. (Obviously they have to consider the cost v benefits!)

See OP, there isn't really anything to understand here.

You get CF who drive.
You get CF who don't drive.
You get perfectly pleasant people who drive
You get perfectly pleasant people who don't drive.

The key is, whether you drive or not, not to be a CF!

Here in the states everyone drives
Actually not everyone does, I have friends in the US (in various states, not all NY) who have never learnt.

I cant drive, I've never had to need to. Even when my children were younger they didn't miss out on anything, we would use buses, trains or walk. I don't ask people for lifts and I hate being offered lifts.

There are far too many cars on the road as it is. If I think back 20 years me and my husband would finish work at 5.30pm, go home, get changed and drive 60 miles to Manchester for football matches. We'd typically leave home just after 6pm and be in Old Trafford by 7.30. Now we get the train, because that same journey by road now takes around 3 hours.

I wish people would understand too that not afford to drive. We're currently putting our son through lessons. He's had one test and failed and the earliest availability to take it again wasn't for another 3 months waiting times for tests are horrendous in our area), so of course he needs more lessons to keep his hand in.

So far, with the cost of his provisional license, five blocks of lessons (the latest block will take him to his second test), two practical tests and a theory test we've paid out in excess of £1300. Should he fail again then more lessons and a 3rd test will add around another £300 to that.

I do intend to drive again at some point but dh has been passed his parents' old car which is a very old fashioned car and works differently to a modern one. I don't know if I can face driving that car as it's susceptible to breaking down on long journeys.

No one bought me lessons, and I couldn't afford them when I left home, and still can't. We'll never own a car in London anyway, public transport's cheaper.

Because their eyesight or health is not up to it and they don’t care to say so?

Because they have not, and know they have not, the temperament to be a safe driver?

Because like the mother of a school friend of mine they passed a test and then had an accident and lost the confidence to drive for ever?