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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people 'don't drive'

974 replies

ZX81user · 06/05/2018 13:07

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

OP posts:
bananafish81 · 06/05/2018 15:49

if the weather is still nice tomorrow, then I'm planning on going to the beach. Hop in the car and it's about 1 1/2 hours away. How do people who don't drive do stuff like that?

I hop on a train and I can be on Brighton beach in less than 1 1/2 hours. It'd take 2-3h in a car - I know, I've done it!

OrangeSamphire · 06/05/2018 15:50

Of course there are plenty of good reasons and some practical/medical ones why some people don’t drive.

There is a strange cohort of women who ‘don’t drive’ that in my experience is entirely different. My grandma was one of them. She never drove because her husband did so she didn’t have to. Believe it or not there are still women like this. Dependent. In our nearest city (Plymouth) I come across it all the time. “Well, my husband/boyfriend/partner does all the driving”. It always baffles me.

bananafish81 · 06/05/2018 15:52

All well and good relying on Uber when you live in a city, half the UK doesn't have it.

But that's the whole point. We can rely on uber and tubes because we live somewhere where that's a much easier option

If we moved into a commuter town / suburbia shoot me now where that wasn't an option then I'd get a car and DH would learn to drive

But we live in a city where it's much easier not to drive and therefore that's academic.

UpstartCrow · 06/05/2018 15:53

There are over 30 million cars on the road. How many is enough?

feelinggoodinspring · 06/05/2018 15:54

I have passed my test but not got enough confidence in myself.

I would rather get public transport than go to jail for killing someone. Simple as that.

corythatwas · 06/05/2018 15:54

CrumbliestFlakiest Sun 06-May-18 15:38:27
"Cory, that ten minutes at the bus stop for the one bus that day that stops at every little village is all well and good when you're on holiday but when you live there full time and you've got job, family and committments i can assure you there is nothing easy about it."

That did not seem to be the situation described by Hilda, though.

I do accept that there are people who need a car. It's the other ones, the ones like me, for whom it's just a question of taking an umbrella and planning their holidays and hobby activities a bit more carefully who imho have a responsibility towards the rest of you NOT to use cars we don't need.

I don't live in London. But I live in a medium-sized city where you can get to most places on a regular bus service. My strong healthy 17yo can get to all available hobby activities through a walk of less than an hour. It is good for him, there is absolutely no need to burn even an atom of fuel just to spare him. People like me shouldn't have to make excuses for not driving: we should bloody well make excuses if we did drive.

PickAChew · 06/05/2018 15:55

And I can get to the beach in an hour, by bus and not have to circle around finding a parking space.

spontaneousgiventime · 06/05/2018 15:56

Passed my test years ago but have no idea where my licence is, it might still be a paper one. I've no intentions of looking for it either. I don't drive as I have no need to. While I do live rural, we have a decent bus service and an excellent taxi firm. I could go out tomorrow and buy a new car but I won't, I have no intention of ever driving again. (Not even sure I'd remember how).

I never ask for lifts either, my independence won't allow me to rely on anyone for anything.

EleanorHooverbelt · 06/05/2018 15:58

Ten reasons to give up your car

makewealthhistory.org/2011/02/02/ten-reasons-to-give-up-your-car/

1. Climate change

Let’s start with the mother. Road transport accounts for around a quarter of the UK’s carbon emissions (pdf). There’s really no way around it, if we want to avoid changing rainfall patterns and rising sea levels, expanding deserts and angrier hurricanes, we need to get off fossil fuels. And right now, that means getting out of our cars.

2. Keep one step ahead of the oil price

After half a century of rising oil production it appears to have reached a maximum, but demand is higher than ever and rising. If we structure our lives so we don’t need a car now, it will save us being forced out of the market by the inevitable soaring prices that will follow. (If you’ve got an electric car, that might buy you a few years until the national grid starts to struggle under the increased demand, but it’s not a bona fide solution just yet.) Global oil reserves will be exhausted before the end of my lifetime. I figure I might as well learn to live without the stuff now.

3. Vote for peace

Though you can pin a war entirely on the need for oil, it has been a factor in a whole string of conflicts, from WWII onwards. The Gulf wars are the most obvious, the ongoing conflicts in Nigeria or Colombia less so. It remains a sticking point in the new Sudan. There has been an international campaign to stop conflict diamonds. Perhaps we’re all far too implicated to call for an end to conflict oil.

4. Support democracy

Oil revenues keep oppressive regimes fully stocked with weapons, from the military junta in Myanmar to the Saudi royal family. And as the case of Ken Saro Wiwa showed, governments will commit murder to keep the oil companies on side.

5. Reduce accidents

If you were to invent a technology that would kill or injure a quarter of a million people in the UK every year, it would never be licensed. Because cars are so commonplace, we forget that they are hugely dangerous machines. And the UK has some of the world’s safest roads. Globally, road traffic kills over a million people every year, and injures a further 30-50 million.

6. Clean air

One in seven British children suffers from asthma, one of the highest rates in the world. Car fumes are a major trigger of asthma as well as a likely cause. In fact, the World Health Organisation estimates that more people die worldwide from car fumes than from car crashes.

7. Clear the traffic

The more people drive, the worse it becomes for those already on the roads. Building roads doesn’t help. The well-established phenomenon of ‘induced demand’ means that new road schemes tend to actually increase traffic by 8-10%. The Department for Transport wrote a whole book about this in 1994, ‘Trunk roads and the generation of traffic’, which they appear to have subsequently ignored. At least you can read a book if you’re stuck in traffic on a bus.

8. Support local business

Small shops in town centres depend on passing pedestrians, but from the 1960s onwards there has been a move to create out-of-town supermarkets and retail parks. Britain has lost 30,000 independent grocery stores between 1995 and 2005 (pdf). I’ve got about three of them on my own street. If your high street is a ghost town of pound stores and charity shops, you know what car culture can do to town centres.

9. Build community

Research has shown a direct correlation between the amount of traffic on a street and the number of neighbours people know by name. The fewer cars there are, the more likely people are to spend time outside their front doors. (more here) If you want to get to know people in your area, walk.

10. Improve public health

Over half of European adults are overweight, and the UK has the highest levels of obesity in Europe at 24% of adults. Half of all our car journeys are for distances less than two miles. Can you spot the connection between these two facts?

UserV · 06/05/2018 15:58

Have to admit, when I was a teen (mid 80's,) the one thing I wanted to do was to be able to drive. I did it as soon as I was able. I lived in a town with good public transport and I could walk and cycle quite a few places I needed to go to, but I still wanted to be able to drive. So I don't get this 'my city has good transport so I don't NEED to drive' excuse. Why would you not learn anyway?!

It's actually a very good life skill, and is often a sought-after skill when you are seeking employment. I also find it weird that someone would purposely not ever learn to drive, and think it's odd when someone can't drive (especially when they are over 30...) Then again, I find it odd when people cannot ride a bike, or swim, as these seem like things you would learn as a child.

I know we are all different, but I think people are entitled to think it's strange. If it doesn't bother people (not being able to drive, or cycle, or swim) then why do they get sniffy and offended when people think it's odd. I can't fly a plane, or drive a bus, but I wouldn't get upset if people thought it strange that I couldn't!

If people were so secure in their life choices, they wouldn't get offended. Deep down, they probably wish they could drive, and when you question it, you're hitting a raw nerve.

Anyway, as for the 'coz the world has too many cars' argument. So what? You can still acquire the skill of driving, without having your own car. I learned to drive at 18, but I never actually owned my own car til I was 28. I shared/used my dad's car for a couple of years, then my husband's. (Til I got my own.)

PMSL at the person on page 1 saying 'are you jealous of us non-drivers?'

WTF? Confused Why would anyone be jealous of someone being incapable or unwilling to learn a life skill that you, yourself have ... What a daft thing to say!

The 'cannot afford it' excuse is lame too. My cousin (now in her 40's) never learned to drive - coz she couldn't AFFORD it - but has spent £30-35 a week on smoking for the past 25 years. She could easily have passed her test ten times over with the money she has spent on smokes!

corythatwas · 06/05/2018 15:59

It seems slightly paradoxical that this thread was started to ask why people don't drive, and when we explain why we, in our individual circumstances, don't drive, people who do drive feel under attack because the same circumstances don't apply to them.

UserV · 06/05/2018 16:01

Another point (that a few posters have made) is that non-drivers will always take lifts from us that have actually made the effort to pass, and often EXPECT lifts, (and never offer petrol money!) Hmm

They can't be arsed to learn, coz ya know 'environment and cost blah blah, but will happily use you to drive them about!

Ginger1982 · 06/05/2018 16:01

I have no issue with people who CAN drive but just choose not to. I don't understand people who don't learn. You never know when your circumstances might change and it is a key life skill IMHO.

bananafish81 · 06/05/2018 16:03

*Another point (that a few posters have made) is that non-drivers will always take lifts from us that have actually made the effort to pass, and often EXPECT lifts, (and never offer petrol money!)

They can't be arsed to learn, coz ya know 'environment and cost blah blah, but will happily use you to drive them about!*

That's a CF issue, not a non driving issue

Also somewhat of a generalisation, no?

corythatwas · 06/05/2018 16:05

WTF? Why would anyone be jealous of someone being incapable or unwilling to learn a life skill that you, yourself have ... What a daft thing to say!

Well, it's difficult not to wonder why people feel the need, at such regular intervals, to start threads on MN about how wrong and strange it is that random other people don't drive. I mean, I don't start threads about how odd it is that other people don't read Latin or keep tropical fish (both of which are pretty essential skills in my life). Not driving seems something that upsets other people.

The 'cannot afford it' excuse is lame too. My cousin (now in her 40's) never learned to drive - coz she couldn't AFFORD it - but has spent £30-35 a week on smoking for the past 25 years. She could easily have passed her test ten times over with the money she has spent on smokes!

Dd cannot afford it because she is spending all her money on a HE course which is not covered by student loans, but which is essential for her future career. My money over the years has gone on education and on visiting family abroad. Is that lame? Or just different priorities?

MissTeri · 06/05/2018 16:08

The 'cannot afford it' excuse is lame too. Do you have any idea how many people need food banks each year in the UK? That's right - some people cannot even the basics like eating, adequate housing, heating ... and YOU figure that besides all that they should be able to magically pluck out thousands and thousands to pay for lessons, MOTs, services, petrol, insurence and an actual car!? Do remove your head out of your arse Hmm

Flooffloof · 06/05/2018 16:13

if the weather is still nice tomorrow, then I'm planning on going to
the beach. Hop in the car and it's about 1 1/2 hours away. How
Do people who don't drive do stuff like that?

I just looked up a seaside place from where I am on the train.
It would apparently take an hour and 40 minutes and cost £5.40
I doubt I could drive there for less.
But it's academic as I don't want to go to the seaside today.

WorldWideWanderer · 06/05/2018 16:13

Well I don't drive instead of can't drive.

I learned to drive when I had small kids, I loved driving then....it gave me loads of freedom. It meant I wasn't dependant on someone else to fetch the shopiing, I could ferry the kids about and in their teenage/University years it was a godsend.

These days I don't drive. I decided to get rid of the car recently and use public transport. Having a car was beginning to cost a huge amount and as I don't use it every day any more, it was wasted money. Besides there are too many cars on the road and I am more concerned with 'green' issues, pollution and global warming these days, so I want to do my bit. And, on top of all that, I began not to enjoy driving....the roads are too crowded, motorways are full of roadworks, nasty accidents and tailbacks, it's all horrendous.

Since giving up the car I have more money and feel more relaxed. I use the train for long distance (yes, it isn't as comfortable nor as quick but it's certainly cheaper than petrol) and from time to time I've had to use a taxi (emergency medical appointments) but I have decided to remain without the car and not drive for the time being.

NerrSnerr · 06/05/2018 16:13

I think people start threads on here because of course every single non driving poster on here isn’t cheeky and never asks for lifts in the real world those people exist and are annoying.

I like driving now after spending my 20s not being able to. It’s nice to be able to consider all areas to live, jobs, activities for children etc. Of course I could get busses and taxis but would be a pain with two children needing car seats so it is more convenient. We don’t drive all the time though, our cars haven’t been used since work on Friday.

EleanorHooverbelt · 06/05/2018 16:14

The 'cannot afford it' excuse is lame too. My cousin (now in her 40's) never learned to drive - coz she couldn't AFFORD it - but has spent £30-35 a week on smoking for the past 25 years. She could easily have passed her test ten times over with the money she has spent on smokes!

I can afford it. Still don't want to.

Why should your cousin spend her money in a way that pleases you?

When I was younger and a lot of my friends rushed off to learn to drive and get a car, I'd be travelling a lot. They'd complain that they wished they could afford to travel, but it seems their cars and garage bills ate up a lot of their money. I didn't point this out to them, as i assumed they could prioritise their own spending as they chose.

mypickleliesovertheocean · 06/05/2018 16:15

I technically have medical reasons (ADHD) that made it unsafe to drive, but I'm now medicated and learning in an automatic. Haven't taken the test yet because £62 is a lot of money in one go and I want to be sure I'm test ready but I do now drive to and from work and other journeys to build my confidence.

I don't judge anyone who doesn't drive though, it was so daunting for me and I think if you can get away without driving, it's not a bad thing to save the environment.

Mintychoc1 · 06/05/2018 16:16

I think it’s great that there are lots of people who don’t drive. There are too many cars in the road, causing pollution etc. It’s much better for the environment to use public transport.

However, I think some non drivers may be slightly unaware of the impact of their lack of driving on other people. They might say they never ask for lifts, but being a non driver is always going to be factored into group plans, with adjustments being made for them.

MissTeri · 06/05/2018 16:17

I think people start threads on here because of course every single non driving poster on here isn’t cheeky and never asks for lifts in the real world those people exist and are annoying. I'm sure they exist and are annoying but you're perfectly capable of saying no. Non drivers, however, are unable to say 'no' about other people driving though, despite the fact it's polluting our air and causing us illnesses that could lead to our deaths - bit more serious than 'annoying' don't you think?

MyDcAreMarvel · 06/05/2018 16:20

It must be very difficult to have UK holidays without a car. Yes you could get a train to cities. But rural holidays, exploring the Lake District, Cornwall etc and just day trips in general.

JustDanceAddict · 06/05/2018 16:21

If I didn’t have to drive then I wouldn’t tbh. I don’t like driving but it’s a necessity so I do it. If I lived somewhere I didn’t have to drive to work or to socialise, or had children who didn’t need mums taxi then I’d happily give up the car.

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