Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think Ben Shackleton is selfish for attempting to climb Everest when he has a young family to think of

128 replies

NicEv · 05/05/2018 23:00

Just read an article in the Daily Mail written by Ben Shackleton’s wife bleating on about how brave he is to risk his life attempting to climb Everest. AIBU to think it’s not brave to do this when the biggest risk is leaving two young children without a dad. He should have done this before he had kids - or not had kids at all if he can’t stop doing these stupid pointless challenges for months on end and risking his life in the process! How

OP posts:
Mormont · 06/05/2018 00:15

The reading book letter to the editor contains two different opinions so surely it is a piece to promote discussion.

Mormont · 06/05/2018 00:16

I mean provoke.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 06/05/2018 00:18

Are you really comparing an astronaut who is part of a major scientific project to the the 5001st person to slog his way up everest with the significant help of the local sherpas

No not from a what benefit does it bring pov, but both are risky and both are jobs. Fogel hasn't just gone off on a jolly, presumably it will be filmed and shown and he is being paid for it.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/05/2018 00:20

Why should you give up your goals, dreams etc when you have kids?

Some people (usually blokes) have kids then it's their goal to hammer it on the cocaine every weekend and wake up on their mate's sofa leaving their partner to be the dogsbody of the house while they nurse their hangover.

Everest is really comparable to a cocaine fuelled weekend, I'm being facetious, but my point is it's still a selfish pointless task and I don't think it's ok to say every 'goal' is a valid one when you have a young family at home

Herbalteahippie · 06/05/2018 00:24

YABU for reading the daily mail

pallisers · 06/05/2018 00:25

yes both are risky and both are jobs but one is utterly unnecessary and the other has the potential to provide useful data to mankind. And most astronauts are military anyway so doing this as part of their service.

Everest is a joke at this point - it should be shut down, the mountain should be cleared of bodies and junk and trash. the only reason I think this shouldn't happen is the knock on effect on the livelihoods of the locals and the sherpas.

nokidshere · 06/05/2018 00:30

It's a job. His job is to be an adventurer, that's what he gets paid for and he raises money for charities whilst doing it.

This was a role he was doing prior to being married and having children so one must assume that she, they, were happy with that.

pallisers · 06/05/2018 00:35

well yes, his wife seems fine with it (whether their children will be is another matter)

but I can still judge him for his choice of job. In my opinion it is stupid, self-centered, and useless to society. There are other ways to raise money without climbing everest risking lives for no particular reason with the tv cameras focused on you.

user1473878824 · 06/05/2018 00:38

Who exactly is going to rid the mountain of “trash and bodies”? And how exactly will they be doing it? It’s not a fucking park.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 06/05/2018 00:41

pallisers The bodies are sometimes cleared when requested. But it isn’t easy and is a huge risk to those who collect them. Collecting the rubbish isn’t worth their risk either so it doesn’t get done. It’s not simple to just say clear it and close it off.

corythatwas · 06/05/2018 00:49

MarthaArthur Sat 05-May-18 23:13:20
"Why should he have to do anything for anyone else though? He wants to train for months and climb everest."

He should be doing something else because this is something that does harm. The mountain is turning into one massive rubbish dump.

pallisers · 06/05/2018 00:53

Love the "its not a fucking park". It is certainly becoming if not is a fucking park for westerners to play in. The same people who make sure amateur mountaineers get up everest safely might be employed to clear the trash and bodies- how about that? And should get paid for it by mountaineering clubs etc.

Quack I agree with the risk. And tbh I think the locals need the work more than the entitled westerners need to be saved from their own egos so tbh I have no problem with Everest staying open. except for the dismay at such a beautiful place being just a tick on a list for entitled people.

But let's not pretend it is a brave thing for a western "adventurer" to ascend Everest. It isn't. The sherpas do a brave thing for a living because they have to.

GnotherGnu · 06/05/2018 01:07

I'm not sure that James Cracknell provides the best evidence against going on these trips, given that he was injured by a lorry that hit him whilst he was cycling - which isn't normally regarded as a particularly out-there activity.

WineDrinkerMe · 06/05/2018 01:17

Nah you owe it to your kids to do what you can to be there for them and not die on them. You owe them that.

Sometimes it can’t be helped but I think you have a duty to minimise the risk.

ohfortuna · 06/05/2018 01:34

bleating on about how brave he is to risk his life attempting to climb Everest
he does it because he gets a buzz out of it, he's not heroic he's self indulgent
I dont think it's necessarily bad to be self indulgent or self obsessed, but call it what it is and don't expect to be congratulated for it, especially when it involves deserting your duties as a parent

ohfortuna · 06/05/2018 01:36

if you are footloose and fancy free then go ahead and take risks but if you have a young family it seems cruel to put getting your kicks above staying alive and being there for them

ferrier · 06/05/2018 01:57

Ben Foyle has always earned his living by doing adventurous things. He makes TV programmes and makes money for charity by doing the same adventurous things. Marriage and children are not going to change who he is and I'm sure his wife knew this when she married him.
(I agree about getting the tourists off Everest though).

rovi66 · 06/05/2018 06:14

How can anyone take issue with that book when most replies about a father have been pretty much the same.

I don't think Fogle's bleating. He is brave (walking to basecamp was challenging and dangerous at times).

I'm sure his wife knew what he was like when she married him. She isn't complaining. Why do others thing their opinion is worth anything?

Pengggwn · 06/05/2018 06:27

I really hate 'not overly academic' as a criticism. If you want to call someone thick, don't sugar coat it. But a) he isn't thick - he seems quite normal and b) so what? Since when is not being clever a crime?

WizardOfToss · 06/05/2018 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hildabaker · 06/05/2018 07:22

OP YANBU. But I also think that it's a waste of time visiting neighbouring planets - we already know that fuck all is there.

Vitalogy · 06/05/2018 07:27

I'm all for people doing these challenges but I agree, it is selfish with a young family.

hazell42 · 06/05/2018 07:30

We all have the right to follow our dreams, even at the risk of our lives. And how horrible would it be for the wife and kids to know that they are stopping him from following his dream.
Personally I would hate that.
We all have a responsibility to ourselves as much as our loved ones. Life doesn't stop when you married and have kids.
Neil Armstrong had kids. Should he have stopped at home?
Ranulf Fiennes had kids. No antarctic exploring for him.
And if my family tried to stop me from following my dreaems, I would tell them to stop minding my business and go out and have an adventure for themselves

Vitalogy · 06/05/2018 07:31

I think a major reason people do these challenges is so they can feel more awake/alive.

adaline · 06/05/2018 07:38

I'm really torn on this one.

A couple of years ago, a friend of DP's was killed when he was paragliding. He left behind his pregnant partner and young child.

I wouldn't say paragliding was a particularly selfish sport, and no more dangerous than going out on a motorbike, but it certainly gave DP and his friends a scare. DP himself hasn't been out since (though he does other sports) and the ones with kids certainly had a bit of a "oh, shit" moment, and while they still go out occasionally, I think they've all made sure they have the right insurances in place for their children and partners should the worst happen to them.