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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think Ben Shackleton is selfish for attempting to climb Everest when he has a young family to think of

128 replies

NicEv · 05/05/2018 23:00

Just read an article in the Daily Mail written by Ben Shackleton’s wife bleating on about how brave he is to risk his life attempting to climb Everest. AIBU to think it’s not brave to do this when the biggest risk is leaving two young children without a dad. He should have done this before he had kids - or not had kids at all if he can’t stop doing these stupid pointless challenges for months on end and risking his life in the process! How

OP posts:
Voice0fReason · 05/05/2018 23:38

So when you have kids does that mean you have to stop doing anything slightly dangerous?
Whilst climbing Everest is more dangerous than walking in the park, it's not that bad!
Would you criticise Ranulph Fiennes as well?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 05/05/2018 23:39

So when you have kids does that mean you have to stop doing anything slightly dangerous?

I think you should stop doing thinks that are very dangerous. Like climbing Everest.

If it was a mother of two young children she'd be roasted for doing this!

RexManning · 05/05/2018 23:41

Good point about Victoria Pendleton - I had forgotten that she was involved.

I suppose it's significant that she is such a successful Olympian. I imagine that in order to achieve these great things (multiple Olympic golds, scaling mountains etc) you have to be incredibly driven and determined to the point of obsession. It is a mindset that I find very difficult to understand and I know that I could not live with someone who had it.

KittyVonCatsworth · 05/05/2018 23:44

Why should you give up your goals, dreams etc when you have kids?

Mrsmadevans · 05/05/2018 23:46

Isn't he just doing his job and trying to provide for his family though. I mean this is the sort of thing he does for his living so I don't think he is being selfish really.

whataterriblefuss · 05/05/2018 23:47

From a Year 2 reading book....

AIBU to think Ben Shackleton is selfish for attempting to climb Everest when he has a young family to think of
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 05/05/2018 23:49

Isn't he just doing his job and trying to provide for his family though

People surely don't earn money climbing Everest? It costs about ÂŁ30k!

Ivymaud · 05/05/2018 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFrendo · 05/05/2018 23:50

They earn money if they are paid to do it. I guess it is a tv job.

user1473878824 · 05/05/2018 23:52

A mother’s place is in the home? I’d be complaining about that book very quickly.

Women climb Everest. So do men. Women are vilified a hell of a lot more than men when they don’t make it and have children and that’s unfair.

OP like I said I get your point (until it became lolololol posho names) but this is what he does.

pallisers · 05/05/2018 23:54

The most selfish and obsessed people in the world are climbers imo/e so not surprised.

Why should you give up your goals, dreams etc when you have kids

because if your goals include things that will likely result in your death or injury, or your dreams include things that will render your children poor and alone, they will remember you not as a star climber but a selfish fucker.

But then again if you are a selfish fucker you really won't care about this.

Amazing how few women want to leave their small children to climb everest (the ultimate Mine is Bigger than Yours for men) compared to men.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 05/05/2018 23:55

Well Captain Cook had 6 kids, Christopher Columbus had kids and presumably so did many more explorers. Were they all selfish? If people stayed at home and didn't take risks because they had children 3/4 of the world would be unknown.

Archduke · 05/05/2018 23:55

WTF was that whataterriblefuss?? That's appalling.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 05/05/2018 23:58

Well Captain Cook had 6 kids, Christopher Columbus had kids and presumably so did many more explorers. Were they all selfish? If people stayed at home and didn't take risks because they had children 3/4 of the world would be unknown

But on the other hand we wouldn't have to put up with President Trump, so you know I do think we can deduce Columbus fucked us all over Grin

pallisers · 05/05/2018 23:58

Well Captain Cook had 6 kids, Christopher Columbus had kids and presumably so did many more explorers. Were they all selfish? If people stayed at home and didn't take risks because they had children 3/4 of the world would be unknown.

Well first of all the places Cook and Columbus "found" were actually perfectly well known - just not by European invaders.

And I think we can safely say that Everest is known - and littered with the bodies and detritus of people who wanted to be able to say "I climbed Everest"

Maybe he should go to Mars instead - if he was truly brave and enterprising.

whataterriblefuss · 06/05/2018 00:02

School reading book! For a 7 year old boy archduke

I did mention it to the teacher as not really being appropriate...

sweeneytoddsrazor · 06/05/2018 00:02

Maybe he would go to Mars given half a chance. Are astronauts selfish as well. How about divers,

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/05/2018 00:02

I once met someone who attempted to climb Everest, he was the most horrific bore, and he stood with his hands 'framing' the big Armani buckle on his belt and spoke very loudly so everyone could hear him. I didn't ask BTW, this was at a Christening and he brought it up in the most bizarre way, something like "I see you have ice in your drink, speaking of cold things, I once attempted Everest you know" 🙄

Archduke · 06/05/2018 00:03

YANBU OP, I mean really, the temerity of parents to actually want to do something else with their lives than change nappies and row over who had the least sleep. How selfish to want to test yourself and not stay at home eating chips and watching shit on the tv.

I'm trying to think of how we can make some rules to ban these people, should be ban them when their kids are under 5? Or under 10? Is having a 15 year old ok to go and climb a mountain? Or should we stop anyone who is an a loving relationship from doing anything risky? I know lets just approve of those poor souls who have no loved ones at all to do this stuff, then no one will care if they fall off a mountain, drown, fall off a horse or get run over when cycling.

And the bastards have the cheek to be posh as well. Fuckers.

Life holds risk, some people want to do more with their lives than the norm, some of those people are women, my friend holds the world motorbike speed record, she is amazing and in a loving relationship, her wife fully supports her, should I let her know that instead of being cool, amazing, adventurous and brave she should stop it now and be a good girl, as her place is in the home.

pallisers · 06/05/2018 00:09

Are astronauts selfish as well.

Are you really comparing an astronaut who is part of a major scientific project to the the 5001st person to slog his way up everest with the significant help of the local sherpas? And that is if he is lucky - otherwise he dies on the slopes. What knowledge has he brought to humankind? How has he advanced science or geography or anything other than his own ego?

pallisers · 06/05/2018 00:11

I mean really, the temerity of parents to actually want to do something else with their lives than change nappies and row over who had the least sleep. How selfish to want to test yourself and not stay at home eating chips and watching shit on the tv.

Yeah because thems the choices - watching shit on tv and changing nappies (which strangely enough do need to be changed whether a parent is up everest or not) or climb everest. right. That's what parents become - if you can't climb everest you watch soaps and change nappies.

VanillaSugar · 06/05/2018 00:12

Bear Grylls criticised Alison Hargreaves for climbing K2 when she had left her kids at home. He was publicly criticised for that.

RexManning · 06/05/2018 00:14

Well Captain Cook had 6 kids, Christopher Columbus had kids and presumably so did many more explorers. Were they all selfish?

Of course they were. How much of a raging egomaniac would you have to be to ask a whole crew to sail with you into untold peril because you have a hypothesis that there might be a country over there? They achieved great things but I’m sure they were a total fucking nightmare to live with.

Columbus ruled Hispaniola as a tyrant and frequently used torture and mutilation as punishment. When a woman insulted his low birth he had her paraded naked in the streets and had her tongue cut out. Something of a fragile ego, perhaps.

Timefortea99 · 06/05/2018 00:14

I feel he was the first ever to attempt it, I could understand it. I am not downplaying it but Everest has been well and truly conquered despite the many deaths trying to reach the summit. He is putting his life at risk to be the xth person to reach the top. It’s been done. Seems a bit pointless. He is restless guy, always testing himself, he will keep doing these challenge.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 06/05/2018 00:14

Some people enjoy mountain climbing and Everest seems the most facsinating even if only for the many lives it has taken. I’ll asmit I’m facisnated by Everest because of the bodies and I love reading up on it, if I was fit and into climbing it would be something I’d like to tackle. Not to say I’m the best and better than anyone else but more personal achievement I reckon. Anyway, you don’t have to die up there just be sensible and give it a go and when you fee you are struggling and know you have a family, don’t push it any further. It can be done relatively safely. It’s those that want to press on and make it to the top but are then unable to get back down due to light and lack of oxygen and energy, that perish. If you keep a sensible head and have pride in trying rather than making it at the expense of your life then go for it. No one knows if they can do it until they try. I’d say the same for a woman with children. No one should give up what they enjoy just because they have kids, within reason obviously.