To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

[Mamabear1475]

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

my 9yo stitches itch reading this thread. is that just me?

I was so grateful that ONE person told me about the excruciating pain so at least I was prepared. I think it was so bad it was like nothing I'd ever experienced and that's what I tell people.

Bad enough to swear/cry/shout/take drugs. Not so bad that we dont usually go back for a second go.

What I found shocking with my first was how your WHOLE body is in pain. I expected it to be just the abdomen area, but it's like every inch of your body is being crushed by a steamroller that's on fire and you are in this black hole of pain, with no way to escape. It. Is. Brutal.

I had 6! Why fucking why bloody wine 🍷

I remember transition made me weep with the horrendous pain and if anyone had offered to shoot me there and then I would have gladly accepted

I don’t think it’s ever helpful to be completely truthful with any expectant mother - I just always say that yes it hurts but it’s manageable and if it wasn’t women wouldn’t go back and do it time and time again!

I do find it outrageous that the UK strongly advise women to use birth centers, mainly as a cost saving exercise. Some centers are linked to an hospital, so it's not so bad and your bed can be wheeled there, but others are a 15mn drive away. No anaesthetist means no epidural possible.

If you are lucky and manage with a bit of gas and air, it's fantastic, but it's not true for everybody and every birth is different.

I found a broken toe much less painful than childbirth. What you don't know is how exhausted you can get, and how difficult it can be.

Women should also be warned that epidural will be refused past a certain point, allegedly because it's too late. Bollocks, I had one way past the standard "point" and it was totally worth it. I can't think of any other time in your life when your pain will be dismissed by the medical professionals around you. Barbaric.

I think there's a certain effect where your memory goes a bit blank after you've had your baby and screens out what it was all like. I went into quite a period of antenatal depression when pregnant with DS2 and I think my first labour was one of the causes.

Honestly I didn't think it was bad. Had far worse pain. And 2nd was so much easier again;

I'd describe it as a period type pain, on steroids, plus insane cramp, on steroids, with a little bit of pure torture thrown in there, for 45 seconds every 3 minutes for 20 hours if we're going off my labour

ikeep

Spot on sgree. For some reason the pain of childbirth is seen as somehow fucking joyfull, acceptable, normal, ok, what happens to women, predictable, something to put up with, Nobel, reasonable and beautiful!!!!!

Nope it’s fucking painful and no other pain from a broken leg to post op appendectomy is treated with so much cavalier disregard.

Its utterly disgraceful that birthing units and hospitals don’t hsve an on call designsted anaesthesist for labouring women.

@ikeepaforkinmypurse maternity services in the uk aren't great and you don't get any choice really.
Breaking my ankle in 4 places and having 2 metal plates and a lot of pins put in was less painful than my labour.
So was acute appendicitis. Plenty of painkillers for both of those things and no medical professionals downplaying my pain.

I'd do labour every day for 9 months over pregnancy. Hated pregnancy, loved labour - drip induction with gas and air.

It's useful pain. Not like tearing a muscle or breaking a limb, which just hurts, but more akin to the pain of running really hard up a steep hill. I found that once I had figured out keeping my breathing under control it was completely manageable, and it was fascinating to find out how my body just knew how to achieve this seemingly Herculean task.

It hurt but it wasn't as painful as I had imagined to me it's like the worst period pain but for a longer duration but my labour was less than two hours and I only used gas and air, I found getting stitched up after worse.

I had a great pregnancy but I would give birth every day for 9 months over the bloody stitches. I had 40 and about three infections. I was worried they would have to sew it up completely just to fix it

The only thing I have ever found more painful than labour (I had endometriosis which used to make me wish I could pass out from the pain) was a laceration in the palm of my hand, which had started to dry out by the time anyone got around to stitching it - I actually used the breathing techniques I learnt from having babies to get me through having the anaesthetic injected.

I only had c-sections, but after hours (and In Dad's case months) of contractions

I would need a c-section to give birth to my dad in fairness. he's quite tall.

I normally ask someone if they've ever had a really bad leg cramp - you know the kind that makes you squirm and you have to stretch it out and it hurts for ages afterwards? If they have I tell them it's like that but you can't stretch it out and it gets steadily worse and lasts much longer

Due next month why oh why did I click on this thread

With DC1, my pain was just around the cervix and down my legs and it was actually worse as the contractions subsided. As it turned out, DS had his hand over his head so I think the fact that MY CERVIX WAS TRYING TO CLOSE BACK OVER HIS SHITTING ELBOW added an extra frisson.

I was traumatised for ages but did it again anyway. It just went on for so long! Had an epidural and forceps after the elbow of doom was discovered and shoved back up...

No pain over the bump or in my back (or maybe I just didn’t notice it because of the bastard elbow in my os).

DC 2 was a cake walk. Four or five hours, just g&a, like an energetic period.

What's interesting about this thread is that everyone seems to experience it differently. Which is why no one should judge any new experience or choices in labour. I would most closely describe the pain I had more like the bowel pain you get when you are poorly but there's is nothing left in there to come out. But intensified a lot and it escalated until during transition my whole body was in pain. Everything everywhere. I couldn't have anything touching my skin as I couldn't bear any more sensation. So ripped all my clothes off (and threw the tens machine that was doing fuck all across the room!). It was horrendous and traumatising. I would never want to go through it again. I was in shock I think afterwards and felt numb and didn't even want to hold my baby. Worst experience of my life.

I found it quite interesting when I discussed it with my mum and she said that it just felt like a really awful tummy ache. Very much just in her stomach. And she doesn't have a particularly high pain threshold and is a more anxious person than I am.

Interesting thread!

Its hard to describe labour because it varies so much, between my 3 experiences, the first was horrific, the second i've had worse periods, the third hurt more than i was expecting (probably because no2 was so easy) but not anywhere close to as bad as no1,
I'd put no1 as like being squeezed and rung out like an almost empty tube of toothpaste,whilst similataneously being stabbed up the arse.

2 was like 'urgh, i hate periods' bad.
3 was somewhere inbetween.

No matter what your experience was OP no one in the whole world can tell your SIL what she will experience.

Personally I'd suggest opting for a ELCS if she's worried. Much more likely to be able to predict what that will be like than the total (un)lucky dip of labour.