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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:
HighwayDragon1 · 03/05/2018 20:46

Tell her to try pushing a watermelon through a bagel. She'll see it!

GrimSqueaker · 03/05/2018 20:50

I don't dilate like the majority - so don't get deemed officially "in labour" despite having full-level labour pains... and therefore get offered nowt much more interesting than a fucking paracetamol until right at the bloody end where I go 0-10cm in under 10 minutes or something insane like that (DD2 was sub-15 minutes in official "labour" and being allowed the gas and air). I've had the same pattern both times of being utterly ignored and denied any pain relief because of my funny non-dilating cervix. Therefore I may bear more of a grudge than many here (although the fact the whole labour suite had a whale of a time taking the piss out of the doctor who'd said no baby today and I wasn't in labour the second time around and then I had DD2 about 10 minutes later was a slight victory to me).

Like a combination of feeling like you're a tube of toothpaste in the hands of someone particularly brutally ham fisted and needing the biggest and most unobliging poo in the world is my offering for it though.

justabunchofbunting · 03/05/2018 20:50

Its hard because it can be completely different from woman to woman!

I could describe the pain I experienced (like food poisoning but really really intense and spread partially over my back as well as low down in my belly... crossed between very very intense period pains. Was all far lower down than I had expected and radiated slightly through my hips as well as lower back. One continuous pain with no break in between contractions like I had been expecting. Worst thing about it was that it made me panic. Im usually good with pain but this pain made me very frightened for some reason. Am trying hypnobirthing this time)
But ive friends who describe their experiences totally differently!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/05/2018 20:54

I can

Really turbo period pains
Then the biggest shit EVER

underneaththeash · 03/05/2018 20:54

I don't find the contractions too bad...with my three I've always been very quiet with my tens machine on. Just don't like the transition and horrible grindy, crunchy feeling as they slide through your pelvis Yuk!

I've had normal births with DC2 and DC3 and had an epidural with DC2 and the crunchy horrible bit was still there - so I didn't bother with Dc3.

JustSeeingHowManyCharactersWeC · 03/05/2018 20:58

I think chronic pain is worse, Labour always has an end point, chronic pain could be a life time with no end in sight. Plus you get a breather between contractions, so again, period pain can be worse as it's a similar pain but lasts 24 hours non-stop. Ooh and a kidney infection I had as a child, that was worse. I thought I was dying.

cheshiremama89 · 03/05/2018 21:02

I had a terrible labour and had an epidural.

It made me wonder how we did it back in the day with NO pain relief?!?!

Original poster
Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 21:02

I remember being worried I was going to poo. I panicked through my whole pregnancy with Dd. I imagined being mortified if I did poo and the midwives looking at me in disgust.
When the time came to give birth I wouldn't have cared if I shit all over the room and the midwives. As long as the pain stopped

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 03/05/2018 21:03

For me it was not so much the pain but the intensity. It really took me by surprise and took over so that I couldn't DO any of my well rehearsed coping techniques! It was like my body thought it was injured and my instinctive reaction was to tense everything so that I didn't move and cause myself further injury. Of course, tensing in response to labour pain is the very worst thing you can do, as it's muscular - but I just could not override this instinct, it was way too strong.

Luckily I got a lovely midwife at some point who saw exactly what I was doing and told me to put my arms bent in front of me with palms facing up. She said it's impossible to tense your upper body with your arms like this. That's enough to convince your body oh good, I don't need to actually tense up after all, right-o, which gives you the flexibility to do your other things. It did work. And then I got to hospital and got into the lovely birth pool which was a blessed and amazing relief.

I don't remember any grinding pelvis sensation! But I was really out of it towards the end so I might have been too far gone to notice. I do remember crowning Shock and I'd really rather not, TBH, especially since I'm pregnant again! All I will say about that is that by the time you're there the only way out is through and you really don't have any choice so it's best not to give it any thought at all. It really is such a tiny part of the entire experience and you're about to meet your baby so focus on that instead!

goose1964 · 03/05/2018 21:05

Like cramp that comes on slowly.

kaytee87 · 03/05/2018 21:09

Everyone's labour is different so it's impossible to explain.

I was in so much pain with a back to back labour that I felt panicky, I couldn't breath and eventually started throwing up with every contraction. The pain was so bad I was shaking from the adrenaline and would do anything to make it stop.

Kate223344 · 03/05/2018 21:10

I remember reading a thread like this before and thinking "It can't really be as painful as some people say or no one would have a second, third etc child". But clearly it is ridiculously painful based on some of these descriptions!

YesitsJacqueline · 03/05/2018 21:12

Mine was just like needing a really urgent poo with a tummy upset. It took my breath away at times but it was bearable.
I had a ruptured ovarian cyst at Xmas and that was much worse!

Merryfeckingchristmas · 03/05/2018 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohmydayslove · 03/05/2018 21:15

Anyone else feel acute and crushing pins and needles in your womb?

brimfullofasha · 03/05/2018 21:17

Contractions were like the worst period pain of my life but bearable. Pushing felt like I was being ripped in half and I thought I was going to die.

Ohmydayslove · 03/05/2018 21:18

Mastitis sgree agony!

Tried everything including baby latching on snd force feeding him. Grin solved by (sorry) dh latching on with superior sucking skills. As that lump cleared was probably the best moment of my life! Grin

Teachtolive · 03/05/2018 21:18

Its just like going to the dentist, except instead of removing a tooth, he's removing his chair from your mouth!

trickyboots · 03/05/2018 21:21

Um, your pelvis being wrenched open by a vice? Maybe best not to tell.

SecretIsland · 03/05/2018 21:22

I've had three induced Labour's which is supposed to be much more intense.

It's only like period cramps very early on ime. Then you feel like your insides are being ripped out - and the height of the contraction is felt all over your body, not remotely restricted to the tummy area. At times I didn't care if I died. At times I wanted to die.

Pushing was the best bit, tiring but the contractions abated for me as soon as I started to push.

mrscee · 03/05/2018 21:23

It felt like the worst pain in the world and that I was dying. Thankfully it stop when the first one arrived and then started again 12 Mins later for the second one! Thank god never have to do it again!

DiddimusStench · 03/05/2018 21:25

Like needing to do a 7lb shit whilst having stomach cramps and being squeezed and an unknown force

chirpychirpycheep · 03/05/2018 21:27

Is it odd that this thread is making me weirdly nostalgic? I found my births manageable once I got the gas and air but the feeling of elation once it was all over was incredible.

Heatherjayne1972 · 03/05/2018 21:29

It’s like doing a massive football sized and shaped poo

You can’t really describe it- it’s an experience like nothing else

April229 · 03/05/2018 21:29

Some people on here had it much easier than me I think.

I took the pain killers as soon as I could - pethadine and epidural- then it was fine. Until then I would have given up, I couldn’t have got through it. I would have been one of the people in the old days who died in labour from just not being able to carry on.

I found this a complete surprise as I’ve always been someone who just coped with things but I met my match.