Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:
NewMinouMinou · 03/05/2018 22:08

I don’t remember transition hurting any more, but I did say “I don’t want to do this!” a lot and thought the anaesthetist was Oliver Reed.

My sister has had five kids so she was my go-to for advice. She said labour was uncomfortable but you get through.

When I challenged her about this a few days after having DS, she said: “Yeah. Well. I lied.”

BuntyII · 03/05/2018 22:13

@Kate223344 oh yes hell on Earth but as soon as it's over - you're in heaven Smile

Best day of my life the day my child was born.

Ollivander84 · 03/05/2018 22:13

I don't have DC. And now won't be having any Grin
I have had a herniated disc with cauda equina which a few people have said was worse than labour but still... nope. No thanks

NewMinouMinou · 03/05/2018 22:16

Yeah, transition is a weird one. I knew it was transition but I couldn’t stop the feelings of helplessness and futility!
Thankfully it doesn’t last long and then you’re all pedal to the metal if you’re lucky.

Had similar with DC2, but just told myself to snap out of it. She was out minutes later.

MsJudgemental · 03/05/2018 22:19

I wish somebody had been honest. Did all the NCT / ante-natal yoga stuff that went on about imagining yourself going down a river, etc, and how you had plenty of time to adjust, etc. Bollocks to that. Went from a show to 4-minute apart, agonising contractions immediately, got to hospital just in time for waters to break, had a right-on natural childbirth plan which husband and midwife conspired to tell me it was too late to do anything else after screaming for an epidural, had the water birth I wanted although it was nowhere near as relaxing as I was led to believe, DS born after 5 hours 15 mins start to finish. Glad it happened as naturally as it did as I recovered immediately and he was really chilled. Never got the chance to do it again; shame as that time I would have been ready.

LucilleBluth · 03/05/2018 22:21

I had no idea...no idea at ALL about how painful it would be. I visited the maternity ward...read all the books. I thought I was going to have a hot bath, rock around on the ball and then bob's yer uncle you get a baby.

When I held DS 1 for the first time I was in complete shock. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus and beaten up.

reetgood · 03/05/2018 22:24

I didn’t go the whole hog - got to 9cm after 36 hours and then discovered he was breech. Opted for c-section as I was knackered. But before that, it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated? I was signed up for taking all the pain relief if I needed, but just used the tens machine. Also have two little scars from telling boyfriend to press fingers into my back. He pressed so hard I had blisters. They took it off me in surgery, that was fairly intense trying to stay still for epidural. The epidural was pretty amazing at that point though :D.

It was like intense period pain? It was very intense, but pain wasn’t the abiding sensation. My body was just doing stuff and I had to go with it.

happy2bhomely · 03/05/2018 22:27

I don't think you can describe it. You also can't compare it. It isn't just pain. It's the combination of excitement, nerves, exhaustion, adrenaline, fear, hope and pain. It is overwhelming and takes you to another world.

It is the worst pain I have ever felt and I consider that to be a positive thing. I'm sure there are worse pains and I hope I never experience them.

They were honestly the best days of my life. I had 5 goes! Looking back I'm glad I experienced it although at the time I would have cut my own arm off to make the pain stop!

taratill · 03/05/2018 22:30

Gallstones/ pancretitis are much worse from experience.

I found labour pains OK. A bit like heavy period pains but with a positive result unlike most other pains experienced in the body!

iamthefox · 03/05/2018 22:34

Described my first (back to back) labour as like “someone was trying to push THE UNIVERSE out of my arse”

Epidural for number 2

Now pregnant with no 3 and wondering why I’m reading this thread 😂

KnitFastDieWarm · 03/05/2018 22:37

I have had worse, more frightening pain - viral meningitis over Christmas this year was a particular low point Confused in itself I didn’t find labour pain unbearable but what got me was the length of time it lasts - a bit like the difference between a sprint and a marathon, after 20+ hours awake with contractions, your coping and endurance skills start to become the problem, more so than the pain itself.
I would do it again - I’m not going to, but that’s because I only want one child, not because of labour!

SatNavRequired · 03/05/2018 22:39

To be fair, the first bowel movement after birth and post laxatives is even worse than labour.

TheRealMotherGoose · 03/05/2018 22:40

I didn't think it was painful at all. It was uncomfortable, but more like running a marathon would be -- hard work, not pain. And also quite an exhilarating rush to birth an actual baby.

It really didn't compare to the time something popped out in my ankle and I nearly threw up and blacked out with pain.

Fintress · 03/05/2018 22:41

I found it just like a really bad period pain coming in waves, the most painful part for me was I had high forceps with no pain relief. I've suffered much worse pain since unfortunately. I know some women have a horribly painful labour but I found it bearable.

SleepDeprived4 · 03/05/2018 22:42

It’s not that bad depending on your own personal pain threshold, I would rather be in labor and give birth to triplets than have a toothache.

TheTroutofNoCraic · 03/05/2018 22:42

Maaaaaan....I was prepared for a home water birth, the pool was set up, initial contractions (starting at 7pm) were fine, like waves of period pain. By midnight I was having contractions which felt like a screwdriver going through my spine, and I was physically blinded by every one...hallucinating in fact.
Went to hospital at 3am, 2cm dilated, given meptid and put to bed. By 5am the screwdriver hallucinations started again...ended up with an epidural at 6am, DS born at 4.20pm by ventouse, back to back with brow presentation...there was no way I could have done that at home without meds...and I normally have an astronomically high pain threshold!

TheRealMotherGoose · 03/05/2018 22:43

What I wish somebody had told me about was being in 'transition'. I had no idea what this stage was and didn't expect it. It was basically the moment that my baby's head was crowning, I could literally touch the hair on her head, and all I could think was 'Oh my god, I can't possibly do this, I need a c-section'. It was an emotional/psychological thing rather than a physical feeling of pain. Of course in about ten minutes she was out.

TheTroutofNoCraic · 03/05/2018 22:44

It’s not that bad depending on your own personal pain threshold, I would rather be in labor and give birth to triplets than have a toothache.

Any toothache I've had has also been screwdriver hallucinations, to be fair...good comparison!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/05/2018 22:45

I didn't think it was painful at all
Lucky you. No sarcasm here, just wishing I could say the same. It proves that all births are different, and you cannot prepare. I know many women who threw up because of the pain, before even getting the first whiff of pain relief.
Some mums are out and about after 24 hours, others are traumatised and will fight horrendous PND for months or years.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/05/2018 22:46

Did anyone else had dental work without anesthesia whilst pregnant to protect the baby? Still less painful than the birth!

Ohmydayslove · 03/05/2018 22:50

As a nurse back In the good old days we were told ‘pain is as bad as the patient says it is’

I would add ‘yes and bloody well treat women’s pain in child birth as bloody serious pain please’

redastherose · 03/05/2018 22:52

Tbh I think it massively depends on your pain threshold and the type and length of your labour. I found contractions ok, I've had worse period pain. I have felt like throwing up or fainting from cramps and didn't feel like that with contractions.

The second stage (delivery) was a different matter. Someone once told me it was like trying to shit a melon and that seems about right to me 😄. Very painful but in my case fairly short lived as both deliveries were quite quick.

redastherose · 03/05/2018 22:55

ikeepaforkinmypurse yes I had a tooth pulled out with no anaesthetic whilst pregnant with my dd1, it wasn't that bad. Short term pain but over quickly. I also had an abscess under my tooth when pregnant with DD2 and that was much much worse than labour!

BettyPitts · 03/05/2018 22:55

I didn't find it very painful at all for any if mine (3DCs)

I had gas abs air with them all and that took the edge off enough for it to not really hurt.

OneOrgasmicBirthPlease · 03/05/2018 22:56

It is the most powerful, overwhelming feeling. To me, it felt like a human being I have grown coming down through my pelvis and out of my vagina. Both times, I could feel all the tissues stretching, their flesh grinding against mine, their heads squeezing through the birth canal on their way out to the world. I did some form of hypno-birthing both times.

I was a bit out of it with my firstborn (diamorphine) and he was a big baby - I remember how massive he felt against the inside of my cervix and vagina - like he was never going to fit. Pushing him took some effort and I was forced to birth on my back. Second degree tear that healed fine with some stitches I hardly felt. I was on the biggest high and we all went home for lunch after having the baby at 1am the same morning.

The second time round, my labour was amazing. I was with it the entire time and I could feel my child turning as they descended down my pelvis just before I had to push, kicking back against my flesh for added speed. I could literally feel them corkscrew their way down - it was so intense. The baby pretty much shot out as it was smaller than my previous one, and I birthed on my knees, leaning against DH. First degree tear, a few stitches, job done.

I had a shower immediately after delivery both times and they were the best showers.

If it was not for the fact I am certainly not up to bringing up three kids, I would love to give birth again. Even if I never got my orgasmic birth, my labours still felt amazing.