To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

[Mamabear1475]

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

I was told and I actually believe this..

For every woman there is a highest point of pain she can go to. In childbirth God takes the woman to that highest point and then slowly brings her down.
That highest point for me would probably have to be the final contraction to when baby's head is passing through

I was really, really lucky.

With first, i had a bad back ache, then what I assumed were contractions ( i had been obsessed throughout pregnancy that i would not recognise a contraction when I had one)! Because they were not painful, just uncomfortable, i waited for them to get worse. I ended up getting to hospital 40 minutes before giving birth, still waiting for the 'real' contractions to start.

Better prepared with second, i just made it into maternity before giving birth. I was back at home three hours later.

I had discomfort, but no real pain.

Just goes to show how different we all are.

Flowers to those with difficult births

I honestly don't remember much pain in labour, just intense pressure. The midwives didn't believe that I was in labour. I think it was because it built very gradually with contractions on and off for a week. I didn't have any pain relief until I had gas and air for stitches (episiotomy and penthouse), the stitches were the worst bit, but I think it was the thought of it.

With DD2 I had a section and it was really horrible, much worse than the natural labour and awful not to be able to go and see her straight away (in NICU), I was given a picture until they could take me in a wheel chair. Then spent a week in a chair by her cot two floors down from my bed and missed food and drugs rounds. Horrendous.

I had two inductions, one back to back. It was very intense, but in the end not prolonged in either case. I've been dreaming recently about being in labour a third time and it's very strange, but even in the dreams I can't remember exactly how it felt. I know it was painful, I know at one point with DD I went into shock, I know I hypercontracted, swore and shouted and groaned and grumbled. But I wouldn't know how to describe the pain.

I would, however, rather give birth again than have an abscess in an impacted wisdom tooth.

*ventouse (not penthouse - pesky autocorrect)

It is hard to describe or remember pain, even for yourself, as soon as it ceases. For me, I never was in unbearable pain as I received epidurals before that point and for that I am very grateful. As well as the pain, for me each contraction was accompanied by a really unsettling feeling that I can only describe as a feeling of impending doom, which was quite upsetting. On my first labour, I vomited with every contraction as well until I got the epidural.

It's unrealistic to expect labour not to be very very painful for the vast majority of women. I always think of the way labour is portrayed in the Bible. This was written at a time when people had no pain relief for a dislocated shoulder or an infected tooth or a broken bone or an animal bite, yet when choosing to describe a punishment for Eve from an all-powerful vengeful God, they chose labour.

Worst period pain imaginable and being winded repeatedly at the same time.

two babies, both back to back - first one was the most indescribable pain I’ve ever felt culminating in a crash section under general. Didn’t want to do that again so opted for a c section the next time but I went into labour the morning of (still had the c section) but all the pain was up my backside, like someone poking you with a hot poker and feeling like I needed to wee constantly. No stomach pain it was just all in the back and my contractions both times were also back to back. Pure hell.

Oh and I remember my husband asking them in the nct classes if there was ever a time they would tell you not to push... they all laughed at him..... first labour and I was the hospital and EVERYONE was telling me not to push seriously.... I do not rate NCT at all. Our expectations were not met at all

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5703783/Mothers-reveal-pain-childbirth-REALLY-feels-like.html

Does anyone know why there is such a difference in the level of pain people experience? I have always been really tolerant of pain and just got on with things, I expected I would be ok in Labour and was very taken aback that it was so far beyond what I could deal with.

In childbirth God takes the woman to that highest point and then slowly brings her down

Lots of women died in childbirth before modern medicine (some still do). What was your God telling those families? You might find that comforting but many people will either find it upsetting or deeply offensive.

April I think it's as simple as some people have more difficult or longer (or very short and intense) labours, maybe the baby is badly positioned (back to back is known to be more painful, I bet breech isn't a walk in the park), maybe there is a optimum shape for the pelvis that only has an impact in labour, some people are unfit or have prexisting conditions that labour exacerbates. There may be a psychological element, e.g. some victims of abuse can find labour particularly difficult, some people are treated horrendously by their HCP and that affects their memory of the experience whereas if they were treated more kindly they might have more positive memories.

I reckon if you could figure that out, you'd be able to reverse it - and you'd make millions!

A lot of the natural/hypobirthing folk reckon it's about our expectations of childbirth and societal beliefs about how childbirth will be hard. So they reckon that if you can learn new associations childbirth will be easier and not as painful. I'm not sure if this is a thing or not. It could of course be a placebo effect! The mind is very powerful. I do think they are quite right that when a mother feels stressed and under pressure or uncomfortable in any way she's likely to experience labour as more painful because you'll tend to tense up and labour is a muscular thing. But I don't believe that "negative thoughts" are "stopping labour from flowing".

I think it's something we won't understand fully for a very long time. Of course lots of things will play in and that probably makes it more complicated - position of the baby, speed of labour, energy levels, fitness, and stress among others we perhaps don't understand.

Yes! This! With my first labour, I thought I had the worst trapped wind ever after having a curry. No one ever said it felt like trapped wind. Periods pains, dragging pains, backache. Everything but...

'For every woman there is a highest point of pain she can go to. In childbirth God takes the woman to that highest point and then slowly brings her down. '

I can only say that sounds like absolute nonsense. I suppose in the moment it might theoretically help you feel that someone is in charge of what is happening, even though nobody is. What's this 'slowly brings you down' bit? Is that about each individual contraction (not that they were individual, for me)? It was more like a firework for me - blue touch paper, 300 feet up in a very short time, absolute agony but then at least it stopped like a door slamming once ds was born?

So interesting that people's experiences of the level of the pain differ so much. Mine was like bad period pain that got steadily worse with each contraction. Horrible, but bearable until transition when I "gave up". I still got small breaks though. Luckily that peak pain point was over quickly and once the sensation changed to needing to push it didn't hurt at all anymore and she was out within 5 minutes. I had a 4 hour labour from first twinge to baby with just gas and air.

If I get a similar experience this time around I'll be over the moon!

1st child slow labour, 33 hours, puking all the way through, listening to another lady screaming her head off, scared me to death! 2 epidurals, neither worked, forceps delivery in theatre, haemorrhage afterwards, couldnt hold my baby due to being in shock and shaking so much, blood transfusion and catheterised, 2nd baby, waters broke at home, hospital birth, just gas and air, 5 and half hours start to finish.
Both very different levels of pain, but you know what, I would do it all over again, you feel like bloody super woman to know you have carried and delivered your child, amazing

"I bit my MIL when I was in labour with my eldest. I have a nice MIL too, so didn't mean to. "

Imagine you are a washing machine, with 3 bricks in, and as the contraction builds, the machine speeds up. That was the sensation of contractions for me, a rumbling, jagged, tumbling concrete sensation. Plus the vomiting, the sweats, and sense of impending doom.

I don't think I got to the point where if someone had given me a gun I would have shot myself, but I do remember in a moment of lucidity thinking "there is no way I will do this again. I will get this baby out, I will do this, but there is NO. FUCKING. WAY. I will ever go through this again". And I haven't!

Like your own abdominal muscles are trying to crush you, while every muscle you have tenses up from the strain and you become so angry at the nice midwife and your own husband not shutting the fuck up that you want to smack them.

Well, that's my experience anyway.