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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:

YouBetterWORK · 03/05/2018 18:08

I've forgotten the exact kind of pain, and it was only 3 months ago. However what I do remember is it hurt a fuck ton, around the front and back. I screamed into the gas and air mouthpiece until there was no breath left; and I was only at 3 cm when I had an epidural so dread to think what it would have got to otherwise. It was an induction though, but I got the epidural in before the drip, had a cautionary tale from my best friend about that drip!

If there's a next time I'd be asking for another. Some women have high thresholds true, but the experience has taught me I am not one of those women!

Ultimately, you can't predict what level of pain you feel, where it is or how you deal with it when it comes. You can have an idea, but prepare for the fact this may all change once you're in it. And don't feel guilty about pain relief, there's no medal for getting through without it!

RoboticSealpup · 03/05/2018 18:08

It might also be worth reminding her that contractions come and go.

Unless your induction makes them all chaotic and they just fucking come and come and come...

Giggorata · 03/05/2018 18:08

Shitting a football?

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/05/2018 18:09

My baby number 3 was horrendous. It's a mix of the worst periods of your life, kidney stones, trapped wind, being ripped apart and the wish to kill the smug and smiley and patronising medical person supposed to help you.

Take drugs, and I went for a c-section for number 4!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/05/2018 18:10

Gas and air make you throw up as well, and barely touches the pain. Paracetamol doesn't do much either

notsohippychick · 03/05/2018 18:11

Mine felt like a stitch. But a million times worse! It was horrendous.

blinkineckmum · 03/05/2018 18:12

Like being torn in two, slowly.

MistyMeena · 03/05/2018 18:13

For me, gas and air wonderful, truly.

With a shot of pethidine on the side, I didn't find it THAT bad. Painful yes, but I'd do it again. If I wanted another, which I don't 😀

I preferred birth to pregnancy, if that makes sense.

RoboticSealpup · 03/05/2018 18:13

Paracetamol doesn't do much either

Yeah. I wanted to kill the midwife when she gave me that. Or a fucking hot bath. I just lay on the floor in the bathroom and when I saw a sign asking me to clean the tub after use that was the last straw.

Finding out that morphine doesn't work was a bit of a shit moment too...

CanIBuffalo · 03/05/2018 18:13

Tell her it's painful but plenty of women elect to do it more than once.

Cornettoninja · 03/05/2018 18:13

Unless your induction makes them all chaotic and they just fucking come and come and come

Urgh that brings back memories...

Tell her to take a load of Imodium, eat nothing but vindaloo and then after five days try and have a poo. Times that by ten maybe?

BroomstickOfLove · 03/05/2018 18:15

I think it varies so much that all anyone can do is talk about their own experience. I've had period pains worse than my labour with DC1. With DC2, it was very painful, but my body made some sort of fabulous hormonal thing that put me in a state of total bliss - it was what I imagine heroin feels like. I was desperate to get pregnant again for a year after the birth, not to have another baby, but just to experience that high again.

Love51 · 03/05/2018 18:15

My first was induced. Hurt like, well, a bad childbirth, but the endorphins get you through it. #2 came by himself, nowhere near as painful as the waves of pain build up rhythmically. And more endorphins.
I tried to take the drugs, but could only get gas and air, I love the stuff. The main thing is, it isn't a marathon. You absolutely cannot quit (although if you struggle they will 'assist').

rainbowfudgee · 03/05/2018 18:15

Yes it's impossible to describe. Especially a back to back labour. Ouch

TSSDNCOP · 03/05/2018 18:16

No one would’ve invented the epidural if it was like being licked by kittens.

BroomstickOfLove · 03/05/2018 18:16

But yeah, period pain and trapped wind is a pretty accurate description. And backache, but I always get that as part of period pain.

Juiceylucy09 · 03/05/2018 18:16

My first felt like severe menstrual cramps then I had the epidural, DD was stuck slightly tramatic but she was a great baby.

The second was uncomfortable cramps for a few days before but I can honestly say the labour was not painful at all, up on my knees holding the back of the bedframe gravity really helped. It was empowering. Unfortunately he was an awful cryer, good birth difficult baby.

honeylulu · 03/05/2018 18:17

Like being crushed in a vice but from the inside out.

My first was induced with an epidural - very calm and civilised, effort rather than pain.

My youngest's labour progressed very fast and i was hysterical with the pain. In the assessment room i was like a wild animal thrashing in a cage. When the (lovely) midwife came in i screamed and swore at her, totally out of control. When she told me i was ready to deliver (a shock as only 20 mins earlier is been just 3cm dilated) the pushing was actually a blessed relief. Even having my privates rent asunder as the head came out was nothing compared to the vice like pain!!!

Beacauseisaidso · 03/05/2018 18:17

Like exploding from the inside out. I wish I'd expected for it to be so painful. I really didn't, which made me frightened, feel out of control and likely the pain worse. Perhaps worth saying that a spectrum of pain and experience but all normal.

qumquat · 03/05/2018 18:18

For me it felt like the worst period pain ever followed by the worst constipation ever. Unpleasant but handleable. It was the months and months of painful breastfeeding that were much worse for me.

Manfeex3 · 03/05/2018 18:19

Mine felt like a period. But 20 times worse!
Whiles trying to shit at the same time.. but actually trying not to go to the toilet just in case a baby head will fall out!

Juiceylucy09 · 03/05/2018 18:20

Broomstickoflove. I think you helped describe my second it was weirdly surreal.

Spudlet · 03/05/2018 18:20

Yeah, it smarts a bit (). But what I remember most vividly is the amazing feeling of DS slithering out in one push once his head was out. I thought I had got the head out but was going to be pushing for ages to get the rest out, but no! WOOOOSH and he was THERE! Right there in the room!

It was mind blowing. It did fucking hurt though. It was early labour that did for me, but I was induced so went from 0-60 pretty much immediately - strong contractions every few minutes for 18 hours, and I was left alone all night too because the bitch of a nurse on the ward refused to call dh for me. So that wasn't great. But once I started pushing and could actually feel like I had some control back I just got into the zone and focussed on that and it was fine.

I would tell her to focus on breathing and getting through, and yes, it hurts. But once you get going it's fine (ime) and the feeling of that bloody baby finally being out of you is marvellous.

LadyMarmyLard · 03/05/2018 18:21

Both times felt so horrendously painful that I thought something must be wrong, and that I was going to die.

I thought it couldn't possibly be normal to be in that amount of pain.
And both were 'normal' deliveries.

I take my hat off to women in the old days that had no option of pain relief.

notfunnyhaha85 · 03/05/2018 18:22

I'd say it feels like your stomach is being crushed over and over again, although if you have no idea what that feels like it's not a very helpful description

Tell her it's fucking horrible but that's what the drugs are for, also there are breaks between the pain so it's not relentless.

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