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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:
makingtime · 03/05/2018 19:58

Crushed to death totally sums it up for me too. I had constant contractions with no break for hours and hours - induction went way too fast and a back to back baby. It like I was in a very large metal vice that just kept being tightened more and more...

I don't really get the whole unwritten rule of not being honest about the pain to women who haven't laboured before. It would be far better to be prepared I think.

Walkaboutwendy · 03/05/2018 20:06

The type of pain I wanted to run away from fast but I was kind of committed at that point Grin

The kind of pain that made me think f@ck that whale birthing water bath shit get me strong drugs now!! My birth plan changed rather rapidly at that point.

Toe curlingly painful is about the best I can do, oh and relentless. No matter how tired you were there were no tea breaks.

bloomsburyer · 03/05/2018 20:07

I thought it was just like bad period pain. Definitely not the most painful thing I've experienced at all.

DamsonGin · 03/05/2018 20:08

Like my entire body was being ripped in two from my arse to my scalp, I thought I was going to die.

But it passed and I had a beautiful baby. Did it again a few years later but two will do. Still has me in tears writing it now.

Walkaboutwendy · 03/05/2018 20:09

I was induced the first time so not sure what a 'natural birth' feels like.

I also think it's best to be honest so women have a more realistic view of asking for help if you need it rather than trying to soldier on thinking everyone else said it was easy why am I struggling??

HolyMountain · 03/05/2018 20:11

My eldest is 23 and yet I still remember the breathlessness from the pain.

I can’t describe the intense feelings but I had two more after him so it wasn’t that bad.

ClownPockets · 03/05/2018 20:13

Like a cramp that you can't escape from, throughout your whole body. The memory of it brings me out in a sweat.

80sMum · 03/05/2018 20:16

I was totally unprepared for how intense it would be. It was indescribable, like nothing I have ever experienced, before or since.
I remember that I told DH at the time that I wanted to die, just to make it stop!

I had flashbacks for weeks afterwards and I still sometimes feel the need to talk about it, 38 years on.

Ohmydayslove · 03/05/2018 20:17

I think depends on the labour. Dc 2 I had worse period pains it was pretty easy. Dc 1 back ache like being stabbed in the back. The other 4 I had a wave which built to a crescendo of utter pain with almost squeezing cramping agony until the head out and then pretty ok. Pushing was easy and quick

Do not show this thread to your sil Grin

amymel2016 · 03/05/2018 20:20

I agree with the gallstones/bad period pains analogy but it's so different to everyone that it's impossible to say what she'll experience! I had one friend who actual had an orgasm during her 2nd birth!! (Her first was pretty awful...)

QueenOfTheAndals · 03/05/2018 20:20

I always tell people that towards the end the contractions take over to the point that you start to wonder which hole the baby is going to shoot out of! It's the feeling of being out of control of your own body that's almost worse tha the pain.

caperberries · 03/05/2018 20:20

Someone once said it feels like shitting out a pineapple and that was a fairly accurate description of my experiences

steff13 · 03/05/2018 20:21

The actual contractions I didn't find that painful. I had no pain relief with #2 son, he weighed almost 10 lbs., I tore, and his giant head got stuck on the way out. It was painful, but not unmanageable. With the labor, I dilated to 7 cm at home in my sleep.

pandarific · 03/05/2018 20:21

Preggers with first right now - I already wanted an epidural. Now I’m DEFINITELY having one.

CottonSock · 03/05/2018 20:23

Someone told me it was 'horrendous' a day before my induction. I was surprised as my NCT classes had led me to believe that a bit of steady breathing and all would be well. My midwife called me and advised to take all the pain relief on offer.. I will be fine I thought.. ha

Hours later I literally stole the gas and air as was only offered paracetamol. Pethadine did little to help. The pain was overwhelming and uncontrollable. Quite traumatic really. I lost control of myself, my dignity my bladder, everything. 3.5 days of continuous contractions and had a bloody c section anyway.

Would I tell someone that about to have a baby. No. I do tell people that I don't recommend an induction

BarbarianMum · 03/05/2018 20:24

3rd worst pain I've felt in my life.
Second was the pain of my piles and stitches after giving birth.
First was a broken toe -thought the top of my head was going to come off.

Weird thing about birth pains is that I don't remember how they felt. I remember that they did hurt just not what they were like. Can remember the pain of the toe and the bloody piles, but.

NCJaneDoeNut · 03/05/2018 20:25

Someone said ‘take your bottom lip, and try stretch it over your head, that’s what giving birth.’

When they stuck their arm up you to check dilation that was a killer too.

During the crown of fire I actually wanted to die so the pain stopped.

NCJaneDoeNut · 03/05/2018 20:26

Also I was mortified that I did a poo. No one had warned me.

Mammalamb · 03/05/2018 20:28

I had a c section. I had to have my son before 37 weeks and was offered the option of being induced or a c section. As every overweight and / or older mother I know who got induced ended up getting a c section anyway, I chose a c section. Reading this post, I’m glad I did

PatchworkElmer · 03/05/2018 20:28

A LOT of mine was just like a horrendous period- i’ve Had cramps that take my breath away before. What I was unprepared for was the fear during transition. Would’ve given anything to just get the heck out of the room.

Curious2468 · 03/05/2018 20:28

My first baby I wouldn’t describe as a painful, more intense than anything. My second baby I felt like I was dying. He went back to back and it was agony! Ultimately I don’t think there is anyway to describe it, it’s definitely one of those things you have to experience for yourself

howthelightgetsin · 03/05/2018 20:29

It was painful but manageable (induction) and as soon as it was over I did think that the idea of doing it again in a few years was fine with me.

I do remember the most painful bits just wondering how I was going to cope when it got worse because it had reached the most I felt I could cope with ... but that was the worst it got and I did cope and as soon as it was over I felt no pain.

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 03/05/2018 20:31

I loved my labours. Could do it every day of the week, without exaggeration. Loved it.

Just for balance.

OreoMini · 03/05/2018 20:40

It was just like period cramps for me, same place I get them when I have a period... But worse.

I wouldn’t of said it was that bad though. I didn’t have any pain relief each time and got to the hospital when I was 9cm both times.

For myself I would rather give birth then have a toothache. A toothache is the worst pain iv ever felt and I’d rather give birth 10 times then have a toothache ever again!

Lifeontheoceanwave · 03/05/2018 20:45

Like a lorry driving over your pelvis then reversing I think was my exact description at the time

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