To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

[Mamabear1475]

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

Has anyone had a hystero-salpingogram, where they check your tubes to check there's no blockage? Just wondered how that compares to labour. Some people say the HSG is worse. I nearly passed out during mine but then had a c section so don't know which is worse!

I remember my sister saying it was like really bad period pain, so I got all sort of prepared for that. Then DD1 decided to be posterior presentation so all my pain was in my lower back. Just... no.

Then for DD2 I thought ok, I get it now - but for her it was all in the front.

I always tell people it stings a bit pushing out.

It felt like being crushed to death yep

' crushed to death' describes it for me too.

I also had linking pains, so there were no breaks for most of it.

Only child here.

For me it was like the worst case of food poisoning ever, followed by really bad constipation but further forward. Then crowning which feels like someone has set light to your bits. But then the baby slithers out and the pain disappears. Sometimes you get a rush of love for the little person you just pushed out and sometimes it takes longer but you feel like you just did something amazing. Then the midwife brings you a cup of tea and some toast which tastes like the best food ever.

I agree. And even if you’ve been through it before you still don’t expect it, but suddenly remember just how bad it is. I’m convinced that even though we know it’s bad, our brains block out just how bad it was (or why would we do it again?)

Of course it depends on LOADS of things, baby position, if the body is ready, womb position, what your insides are upto. So it will vary massively from woman to woman. I managed to get through pain relief free but if my baby was back to back? Nah thank you - pethedine the shit out of me RTFN.

Buntyll couldn't agree more. I actually very nearly wrote a strongly worded letter to the NCT about that (never got round to it!). There was no mention that you could be having agonising contractions for days.. no sleep, no pain relief until you finally reach the magic 4 cms.

Although I do have friends who found hypnobirthing etc very helpful, I just wish they were more realistic about managing expecations and not making you feel like you've somehow failed if you need an epidural or a c-section.

Having my insides wrung out.

Dc1 was an induction and when the pain got too bad I had a lovely epidural. The whole experience was really positive.
Dc2, another drip induction, I asked for the epidural too late and actually lost consciousness from the pain. The midwife panicked and I came round to a room full of Drs and a very pale DH. It felt brutal and traumatising and took me a long time to get over.
Dc3 was early and very fast. I probably had 10 contractions that were actually painful as opposed to uncomfortable and he popped out.

Never really felt any pain from crowning even with a second degree tear.

@ArfArfBarf I think I’d rather have a c section than be on a drip, and I’m terrified at the thought of a c section!

Lucky fucker though not feeling crowning pain. That’s honestly the worst feeling in the world. Absolutely sickening amount of shitness

Induction with drip admittedly... but

Like a stitch only instead of feeling it in a little stripe it's the size of a beach ball.

Being crushed to death or tazered would also come close - especially when they can make the pains worse and longer by turning up the drip!

Ah tazered! Not that I've been tazered but that's along the lines of how I'd imagine it!

I will give it a go: like severe period pin combined with severe constipation, with added back pain plus a knife of cutting pain where the tears occur.
You are right - it is tricky.

Actually.... it felt more like “force” than pain for most of mine. I was in labour for 12 hours or so, and arrived at the hospital fully dilated. It wasn’t so much the pain as the intense feeling of being overwhelmed by irresistible forces that struck me. Like.... like gravity was working on my insides x1000 .
Pushing was a relief- to be active rather than just “surrendering” to the feelings.

The ring of fire - not so bad- and the feeling of baby sliding out after the head was amazing.

The manual check that all my placenta had come away (it was a bit ragged) ..., now that was vile.

DS1 was like my whole body being crushed. I just tensed all over and couldn't breathe. Epidural helped that though and afterwards it was really painful but bearable.

DS2... well the epidural didn't work in time so I had no pain relief. 3cm to birth in less than 2 hours. The Dr stood with his hands between my legs and I honestly believed for over a year that he'd got his hands up me and was pushing me apart from the inside to help baby out. That was the agonizing feeling (later I read about the ring of fire). When the baby came out I couldn't touch or hold him I was so exhausted (which is too weak to describe the feeling)

4 years later I still hate thinking about that birth and I've barely forgiven myself for not holding DS2 straight away.

Try taking a handful of frozen peas in your hand and clenching your fist tightly. The pain builds up slowly, it gets worse and worse and then drop the peas the pain subsides slowly.. that’s how I would describe contractions. Just much worse!

Yes it's a very unique pain.

When asked I said it's like a stretching and gnawing with a mix of underlying ripping.

Very odd.

It's true that it's nothing to do with pain thresholds. Pain levels and location differ depending on position of baby and what's going on in your insides.
The pain of my first baby (over 70 hours with 40 of them hours at the hospital) was unimaginably painful but second labour was, while painful, completely within manageable range. My third labour was more like second. My super painful, like being sawn in half first labour, it turned out, was a baby's head trying to fit through a pelvis sideways and crushing a whole bunch of nerves. This crushing damaged them so that's how I and consultant obstetrician know this. Crushed nerves is a whole new level of pain.

My other two labours went without these nerves getting damaged so it was only contraction pain and then crowning pain to deal with. I still needed to breathe through each contraction, still felt like I was in five but I didn't wonder how I was still able to remain conscious at this level of pain or start hallucinating. (Epidural failed too the bastard thing. Drugs don't always save you)

like having cramps in you thighs, 5 miles into a marathon and having to finish the darn thing - without way of quitting.
drugs or no drugsit's a pretty powerful experience.

I ripped the oxygen monitor off my unborn baby's head it was so bad... I felt like I was being physically squashed from the inside out, like a huge balloon was inflating and would never stop until I popped. I tried to roll off the side of a high trolley and had to be physically pinned down by nurses :)

Dd2 was an epidural. Delightful! I went for a nap, but was rudely awoken as they could see the head :(

To me it feels like a cross between REALLY bad period pain and food poisoning pain - but the thing that makes it unique for me it the intensity of a peaking contraction, which reminded me of being sick - that feeling is muscle just WORKING in a primal powerful way that you just have to ride out until it passes. Then, just as with being sick, you usually have a brief period of feeling comparatively ok during which you psyche yourself up for the next one. I take my hat off to everyone who had no breaks between contractions . No idea about crowning as I had to have a very last minute emergency C-section after I’d started pushing (don’t ask, blame my son’s badly positioned giant head )

I’m a wimp when it comes to pain - I currently have a sore throat and feel miserable, just to give context - and I honestly found labour more manageable than I expected. You just have to accept the pain and go along with it - juju sundin’s book ‘birth skills’ is one I recommend to every first timer.

It also helps to partake of so much gas and air that you think everything is hilarious and start doing Alan Partridge impersonations in between contractions, to the despair of your birth partner (ok, that last bit was just me )

Labour is so painful that your lady bits rip open and you don't even notice because it's nothing compared to the pain of contractions.

That puts it in perspective.

@mamansnet Ive had the HSG very recently (and actually fell pregnant after it! unfortunately miscarried, but hopefully it has cleared the way somewhat)

The HSG is absolutely nothing like labour. It is a little like a transvaginal scan? Or maybe a smear test with a large speculum? Fairly comfortable as long as you relax to be honest.

Labour is like being drawn and quartered with absolutely no way of stopping it. I think that if it was a choice within labour to have the baby or to change your mind and opt out (no repercussions obviously), then the population would be a lot less.

I wonder if you burn any calories in labour? That would be a useful side effect....

Depends

For me induced Labour was 10 hours of continual, agonising pain.

Natural Labour (bit of gas n air) allowed for breaks.

Labour #1 was entirely necessary to keep the baby alive but that baby is now a teen nightmare! DC#2 is much more chilled - luck, really.

It felt like a vice crushing my spine with each contraction but between contractions was totally pain free and was sweet relief.