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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

521 replies

Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 17:49

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

OP posts:
RomeoBunny · 03/05/2018 18:54

I would highly recommend she has a few litres of cocacola with her to keep up her energy too.

qumquat · 03/05/2018 18:54

I recommend the book 'Brith Skills' by JuJu Sundin to anyone and everyone. It was brilliant preparation for dealing with the pain. (I saw it recommended on MN and want to pay it forward).

sundayfeeling · 03/05/2018 18:55

The reason we can't describe it is possibly that we don't actually remember. A hormone is released during labour (and only during labour) that affects that part of the brain that deals with remembering things. Mother nature was wise here because if we remembered the pain fully we would never do it again Grin

ChocAuVin · 03/05/2018 18:55

Is it wrong that this is my favourite MN thread in about 5 years? Grin

LadyFuchsiaGroan · 03/05/2018 18:56

Would love to see the faces of people currently pregnant with their first right now reading this thread... Grin

I felt like my spine was being crushed to the point I thought it was going to snap.

GeekyBlinders · 03/05/2018 18:57

It feels like the worst pain you can possibly imagine. I expected it to be like bad period pain - I never had very bad periods, so I thought, 'Oh it'll be like one of those but a bit worse. Or like bad gas.' But no. It was like being disembowelled. I was incredulous at how much it hurt. And when I spoke to my friends who have kids, afterwards, they were all like, 'Yup. The worst pain ever.' I didn't know where to be mad or glad that they hadn't warned me!

Mousefunky · 03/05/2018 18:59

I agree. I asked my DM the same question when I was having DC1 and all she could say was the worst stomach cramps/period pains you’ve ever had for hours on end Grin.

In ways contractions are very much like terrible stomach cramps from food poisoning etc rather than period pains. The way they come in waves and cripple you. As for the pushing... that’s like having a humongous constipated poo that burns like a bitch.

Amanduh · 03/05/2018 19:01

Gas and air made noooo difference to me. And I don’t think it’s that sone people manage pain better that makes experiences different, it’s just the differences in birth/induction/size and position of baby/time it takes/method etc etc.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/05/2018 19:01

I describe it as feeling like I was going to explode...I did actually ask my midwife if I would

Original poster
Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 19:02

DM said the same thing to me. And also, oh it hurts but it doesn't last long. DOESN'T LAST LONG!! I was in slow labour for two days Angry

OP posts:
Aria2015 · 03/05/2018 19:02

No idea how to explain it. My lo was back to back and the pain was insane. I laugh at how I was actually curious about the pain before I had him. Curiosity really does kill the cat! Lol!

Spanneroo · 03/05/2018 19:02

I felt like my whole body was being pushed out through my vagina. Like a crushing vortex pulling every fibre down and out.

I had back to back contractions with both of my DDs (precipitate, b2b labours) and no pain relief. I genuinely thought I was going to die with DD1 (thanks to a blase midwife telling me it'd be at least 10hours before she was born 3 minutes before she arrived)

But I really enjoyed it and I'm aching to do it again Confused

Shopkinsdoll · 03/05/2018 19:04

The pain that was so bad I told the midwife I was dying. Take the drugs 💊x

Ginmakesitallok · 03/05/2018 19:04

Mine wasn't too bad. Nipped a bit though.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/05/2018 19:05

Btw I told my Sil it was easy to give birth. I don't want to scare her

what an horrible thing to say. How is it helping?
I'd rather tell anyone who asks that it varies, to research the drugs available and know what to ask for if you feel like you need it. No one is a failure because they ask for an epidural or a c-section.

jigglepiggle · 03/05/2018 19:05

To me, contractions were like the mother of all period pains. Then when the baby was actually coming out it was as if I was going to shit myself and had no control over it.

Pengggwn · 03/05/2018 19:06

I will definitely take the drugs next time.

BuntyII · 03/05/2018 19:07

I'm convinced that the reason so many women end up with PTSD after giving birth is because of well meaning people telling them it's easy and bloody NCT and hypnobirthing talking about how natural and wonderfully empowering it all is.

Original poster
Mamabear1475 · 03/05/2018 19:08

I said it was easy to give birth. I didn't say don't have drugs. I had everything they had available and told her to do the same and not to think about the birth too much. I even used the cliche line of the pain is worth it once the baby is here Smile which is always true

OP posts:
TeddyIsaHe · 03/05/2018 19:09

Was anyone else’s contractions concentrated to just above the pubic bone? ALL the pain was in a 4 inch square just above my pubes and it was horrendous. I thought the whole bump was meant to hurt? I think I’d have been much less bonkers if it had spread out a bit more. Epidural at 4cm!

MaireadMacSweeney · 03/05/2018 19:12

I have friends who described labour as the worst pain ever x a million, but a year later say "oh, it wasn't bad!" Confused - some women luckily forget the pain.

I've given birth three times and still can't believe how much pain a human can tolerate without dying from it. I'd describe it as horrendously brutal. I certainly felt a new found respect for women after going through childbirth.

I was dismayed however by the conspiracy of silence surrounding the pain of labour - I would rather have had a realistic idea of what I was about to face.

And the 'pain relief' doesn't even touch the sides. The best advice to give a woman facing labour is to book an epidural and hope she gets it.

badg3r · 03/05/2018 19:13

While it is sore and in several ways, the break between contractions and knowing it is useful pain meant I didn't find it TOO terrible... it was like a good challenge!! Also I found that once I was properly dilating it was less sore, bizarrely.

Having had several acute kidney infections, they were catastrophically worse. Like, if a kidney infection is a ten, labour is around 4 or 5. It was that bad.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 03/05/2018 19:15

Having had two children, two frozen shoulders and gallstones, I would say that labour pains are of the variety that makes you hugely appreciative of all the times when you aren't in pain.

Strax · 03/05/2018 19:15

Mine were fine. I had quick labours, first one was induced on the drip so contractions hit immediately but gas & air made them ok again. Next two were at home with no pain relief. I quite enjoyed giving birth, it really did make me feel amazing. I'd take childbirth over pregnancy any day.
When I was pregnant with my second I worried that I'd forgotten the pain because of the gas & air first time or whatever so I remember asking my DH if it had been as ok as I thought and it had.

Findingthisdifficult1234 · 03/05/2018 19:17

‘It’s like trying to shit out a saucepan!!’ How my friend described it to me when I asked Grin

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