To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

[Mamabear1475]

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

Just remembered the stitches. I had a forceps delivery after a failed ventouse abs an episiotomy.

Now that was painful.

It’s a pain that makes you lose yourself completely. Like people being tortured in movies. Except they are fake.

sorry, but im another one with 4 dc and didnt find labour that painful .(a long time ago)
i ve suffered with chronic pain/fatigue the last couple of years , and im in agony with the most mundane tasks and movement (,so labour would probably be the death of me now )

Period pain over your whole torso (that depends how bad her period pains are, of course)

Actual delivery didn't hurt that much for me, and there were down times between the contractions that were fine.

Shin splints, toothache and ear ache were all much more painful for me, but everyone's different

@ikeepaforkinmypurse I vomited in the early stages, don’t think it was pain exactly? This thread is great though for highlighting variety of experience.

I agree with the endurance element. I felt a bit silly before the birth linking it with long distance running, which was my most demanding physical experience. But there was definitely some similarities - especially with mine taking as long as it did. Pacing myself in the early stages, keeping hydrated/ energy in, when it got really intense keeling the focus to here and now/ next small bit. Just hanging on when that was all I could do. I felt like a badass after, too. I think it’s just one for me, but I’d do labour again. What I experienced of it anyway!

I remember practising with my TENS machine before my first. I couldn't bear the dial much higher than 4 or 5.
When I used it in labour, I had it turned all the way up to 11 and it didn't even touch the sides. And that was still with 6 hours to go I think.

Was it Teddyisahe who asked; but yes to the pubic bone agony!! Thought that was just me as no-one seems to mention it. Akin to a drill manically drilling away agonisingly on the bone in the front of your bits; 2 ‘failed’ labours resulting in c-sections (but with v pointy headed babies) have led me to conclude that my pelvis opening was too small; and that intense agony was their head unsuccessfully trying to squeeze through...hence planned section for no.3!

Interestingly for me, my 2 I delivered without an epidural, once i pushed the pain disappeared completely. it would hurt and then as i pushed, blissful non-pain. I'm kind of sad my pushing stages with both was a combined total of 5 pushes and 7 minutes. probably less in reality.....with number 3 i was in the pool making mooing noises. midwife said I had to get out if i was pushing as she didn't think I was ready (i'd been 5cm 20 mins before), so in a fit of anger I got out of the pool, made it half way round when i audibly heard/felt the head bash against my pelvis, and instinctively pushed and there she was on the floor. so, that was one slightly startled midwife!

I can't remember. It was nearly two years ago and I spent a long time in a birth pool only breathing gas and air and can't remember what it felt like. I remember it hurt. I can't say how it did. Although I do remember her crowning. That was a very unique pain. I was once told it was the ring of fire, it's so true, it felt like someone was burning me.

Can we also stop with the BS about not telling women what it can feel like? Yeah sure some women have orgasms and some breeze through it like it's a massive poo with a bit of tummy ache.

For most is it absolute agony. Hiding that does not help anyone. It does not help the medical profession to actually develop pain relief systems that will fucking work for us during labour. It minimises what is essentially a traumatic and very painful experience for the majority. Which shouldn't be happening in this day ever! It's the same reason women are sent home hours after a C section with no physio advice, proper pain relief or support because it's just 'birth' - not major abdominal surgery!!

If that was a bloke he'd wake up attached to a morphine drip and be on a ward for 6 days.

Don't lie to your friends or other women. Don't sugar coat it. Tell them the truth. If people know the worst, they can prepare for it mentally incase it happens to them instead of being totally bloody traumatised after a horrific experience.

Birth PTSD diagnosis are soaring. There is a reason for that. Stop bullshitting eachother in the real world.

Contractions felt like a horse was trying to get out of my stomach through my arse.

I don’t think anyone thinks birth is a walk in the park - in this day and age, women and babies still die in the process. Obviously, it can go badly wrong with PTSD or postnatal depression among other disastrous outcomes.

Still, some women have an amazing time, like I did, and feel elated by the experience. Why deny that? I have lots of friends who had good labours. Why expect pathology?

I refused drugs with my first until it was way too late, and of course I regretted it at the time although now it’s over obviously I realise it didn’t kill me and it was worth it. I didn’t scream or anything I just sort of internalised the horror as it was happening. I just remember thinking as it got worse “this cannot be fucking real, why am I not having an orgasm like that woman on YouTube?!” The whole time and just breathing through it going slightly insane I’m the process. What I thought was a final push just turned out to be the midwife saying again that I was doing really well and wait for the next contraction , this is after I had a split second of thinking it was all over. I wouldn’t have been able to answer my own name I was just lost in the feeling of being ripped in half. Next birth, I must have asked them a hundred times if the epidural was ready and waiting for the exact moment I needed it, it was and I was so happy once I’d laboured a bit and then still had time for the drugs it was perfect. There’s no way you can really get it across to someone, that degree of physical pain, and for me I think it was slightly easier as I have a high pain threshold and a generally logical nature so I kind of held it together and concentrated on how I imagined my baby’s face to look like and I think almost went into a bit of a trance. I felt the agony but sort of detached from it for most of the time. There were people on the labour ward absolutely losing it, and I can totally see why as it’s horrendous. I think the key is to get it across to a mum to be, that there are no prizes for not having pain relief and as a person who has laboured x3 times all completely differently, I can honestly say there has been no difference in either connection to my babies, or anyone’s estimation of the hard work I went through to get them out safely. People need to remove other people’s judgement or opinions from their decision making and care of their bodies. I was so convinced with my first, that if I ate well and exercised and rubbed some fancy oil on my effing perineum and stayed relaxed and all of that then I’d give birth easily. It just wasn’t the case and once it all kicked off I was shocked by how my body had kind of ‘betrayed’ me even after I’d followed all the gentle NCT advise. I know people who were pro epidural from the start and end up having a totally natural water birth, you just can’t control it so I think keeping your options open and not commuting yourself to an ideal birth is the best way of avoiding that disappointment and shock during the birth experience. Sorry that was so long!

I've got 3 DC. 2 induced labours, one natural. I honestly didn't think it was that bad, in fact I quite enjoyed it (in the way people enjoy running marathons probably). I loved the gas and air. Pregnancy was worse because I was exhausted for months, as was establishing BFing (worth it though) and having bad mastitis (only happened once, after that I recognised the early symptoms and either prevented it or got treatment before it got too bad).

Pain that is worse than labour: toothache. I have been told gallstones are worse as well. I had an infection under a fingernail recently and that was horrendous until I lanced it.

I really don't think it's helpful telling pregnant women the pain is unbearable. It clearly is bearable for the majority who don't have epidurals. My advice is always 'well I thought it was fine but if it's unbearable for you take the drugs, that's what they are for'. As my NCT instructor said there's no golden pelvis awards.

Interesting read as a pre-babies, not-yet-even pregnant lady! I would point out though that whilst non-mothers like me haven't experienced the agony of labour, we do appreciate that it's the most pain-filled experience that most women go through and fully anticipate it being unbearably awful!

I had never heard of it being like Gastroenteritis before though until now- did anyone else think it was like that?

Also why when it is so horrendous (e.g. the whole 'feels like you're dying/being crushed' thing) do people choose to have multiple labours and in particular not choose to have cesareans for 2nd/3rd/4th pregnancies?!

People do minimise the trauma of it all! I cannot understand the NCT line which used to be no medical intervention. The instructor was livid with me when I said I wanted an epidural and no form of “natural” birth was going to happen to my baby. No screaming, no agony and no worries.

I am delighted to say that I went to sleep during my first labour. An epidural is wonderful and less recovery time then a C Section. Therefore it has big advantages. I wouldn’t have minded a C Section and a tummy tuck at the same time though.

I had the same for second baby and, although it was a much shorter labour with no time for sleep, it was more or less pain free.

The notion that all women should do it themselves without intervention is just stupid! If you have not had a baby yet, don’t be talked out of what works. Tens machines, gas and air don’t get near the pain. An epidural makes you calm and it’s a much kinder introduction to life for your baby. No screaming, ranting, burning sensations or pain. No fear or worry of not coping during labour and you can even have a conversation with your DH!!!

For me it was not the worst pain iv ever been in .

Period pain and trapped wind. And then the stinging when crowning! Didn't have that withh dd1 and I maintain that the crowning was the worst part of the whole thing with dd2. It didn't just hurt but it hurt and was terrifying!

I have had severe gastroeneritis and its similar in the same was as those gripping painful cramps. But I would rather labour again as the pain is for a reason. Bad pain from gastro, migraines (for me) is worse because there is no reason for it. With labour the pain has a purpose.

I did it a second time as children are worth it. Some women have labours so bad (pain, intervention, lots of reasons) they cannot do it again. But reading these boards you will see that nearly all women agree that the end result it worth it.

Chinese burn on your butt hole

DC1: painful but bearable as it built up all day; only the final couple of hours were very painful but I had gas and air which really helped. Only pushed for 18 minutes but that was the worst bit pain wise, like being ripped apart.

DC2: started off back to back so at first the pain was like bad vice-like period pain in my lower back. Then he flipped and I went from 2cm dilated to him flying out in the space of about 40 minutes. Worst. Pain. Ever. I was totally out of control, screaming and shouting, could literally feel my cervix opening up with each contraction. No g&a as was at home! He shot out five minutes after I got to hospital. Once I was feeling the urge to push I was more focused but the very fast dilation was unbearable.

It really seems to vary from person to person. My best friend said her contractions were more like pressure than pain. That's what I was prepared for so when I felt like someone was cutting me down the middle with a huge blunt knife I screamed like a banshee and begged for an epidural in my defence I was induced which is supposed to be worse.

It was horrendous, utterly horrendous. I was in labour for five days and I wanted to die.

Everyone told me as soon as I met my baby all would be forgotten. What bollocks. He is two now and I remember it like it was yesterday.

@Aylarose

For me (22hrs of labour followed by emergency c-section) the trauma was replaced by terror that he was in trouble, followed by the elation of him finally arriving safely (he's currently watching Scooby doo next to me demanding breakfast so definitely doing fine now ). Its so true when people say you forget some of the pain which is why you have more. Although with my second I opted for a c-section because I didn't want to risk her getting into trouble as well. So my choices for second were definitely influenced by my experiences with first.

For me it was horrendous pain but the joy of having them outweighed the agony for me. I know of people though who decide they can't do it again. So each to their own.

I really don't think it's helpful telling pregnant women the pain is unbearable.

Personally when I was pregnant I would have been better off without the natural birth hypnobirthing whale music lobby telling me if I remained calm all would be fine and my body knew what to do.

My body absolutely did not know what to do.