Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:
babymom1875 · 03/05/2018 16:35

So, if you buy expensive glasses and if you use them, you have to be prepared that they could get broken - and that's his responsibility.

If he expects you to pay he should have mentioned how expensive it was and that it was your duty to replace if you broke it. This is bonkers!

jollyjester · 03/05/2018 16:35

I like Aunt Lydias idea

Lethaldrizzle · 03/05/2018 16:36

Offer to pay £10 a month - as with a child on the way money is tight - and send to both parents - c.f.!

JaneJeffer · 03/05/2018 16:37

money can't buy class but it can buy glass

Dancingleopard · 03/05/2018 16:37

Are you going to replace it ?

expatinscotland · 03/05/2018 16:37

Don't offer to pay anything. Tell him to sue you for it. See how far he gets. Twat.

SleepIsForTheWeek · 03/05/2018 16:37

Is that you Meghan?

TheMerryWidow1 · 03/05/2018 16:39

ha pay it then charge them for grandchild cuddles!! It was an accident if he can't afford to replace it he shouldn't use them!!!

BewareOfDragons · 03/05/2018 16:41

Have your DH deal with him. Suggest his home insurance sort it out.

And it's been lovely, but you won't be visiting his house again ... imagine the damage toddlers could cause ... you can't afford to visit them ever again!

Cue hysterical inlaws over the thought of not seeing grandchildren.

Assholes.

Don't pay.

Katedotness1963 · 03/05/2018 16:41

I was given a lovely set of champagne flutes for Mother's Day a couple of years ago (nowhere near that price though) we use them. They're now a set of five, but on the bright side there's four of us so we still have a spare if another breaks. I'm not a fan of buying things to look at, or wait for special occasions.

There's this site, maybe you can find a replacement cheaper?

www.chinamatchers.co.uk

FrangipaniBlue · 03/05/2018 16:41

I have an expensive (and sentimental) set of wine glasses and NOBODY but me is allowed to use them .......

Guests get the 50p Tesco value ones Grin

Tartyflette · 03/05/2018 16:43

Wow - we have those Waterford 'Colleen' wine glasses someone linked to upthread (wedding present many years ago) !- I had no idea that they are so expensive now!
(Wonders idly what they'd fetch on eBay....)

BuntyII · 03/05/2018 16:43

FIL wins CF of the day. Not an easy feat during wedding season!

corythatwas · 03/05/2018 16:43

"I can't agree with posters who believe that if something is expensive you cannot be responsible for it. What else than jealousy to want to punish someone for having something a bit expensive?"

errrr...not being insanely rich yourself?

£156 is a sizeable chunk of my monthly salary: if I had to pay that for a glass something else would have to give, probably something like ds' lunch money

if there was even the slightest risk of that, I would like to be warned beforehand so I could bring my own cheapo glass

mydietstartsmonday · 03/05/2018 16:44

Bill them:
Sex with DS (to produce DGC) 10 x £1000 per session (you are not cheap and not sure how long it took)
Cost of labour £50 per hour 10 x 50 = £500
Cost of maternity clothes £1000
Cost of new non-maternity clothes as unlikely to fit in wardrobe £1000
Mental & physical damages in giving birth to their grand-child £1M
Mental damage in having them as fuckwit PIL £1M
Value to them of having you in their life and the child you have given birth to = priceless

Good luck - they need to know that you think it is totally crass

AuntFidgetWonkhamStrongNajork · 03/05/2018 16:46

Oh this is brilliant. FIL has played his hand far too early. You do realise you never have to go to his house ever again, nor allow your children to go there? "oh we would come for lunch but I just can't afford to"

Show your DH and ask your MIL if FIL is feeling alright - but remember - he's told you what he thinks of you.

Tartyflette · 03/05/2018 16:46

And the answer is ..... Around a tenner.
There's your answer, OP. Have a look on eBay.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 03/05/2018 16:47

Just show your DH. Then forget about it...

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/05/2018 16:48

corythatwas
well, then be careful about other people belonging?
I agree, this example is insane, you wouldn't expect that from family. (After reading so many threads about posters charging their close ones for everything, maybe you would!)

But where does it stop? You break something but because you could get another crap one from freecycle or other, you are not responsible? You are responsible for the value of the item, not for what you would have spent yourself for the equivalent.

LakieLady · 03/05/2018 16:49

*And a scented candle is 489 pounds!

Makes the glass look cheap now.*

In the clothes section, there's a little lacy vest top and it's £2k!

I'd want it to be woven from thread made of real gold at that price.

HappyFeet1212 · 03/05/2018 16:50

Get your DH to deal with this by phoning his mother to understand firstly why they aren't claiming on the insurance.

Insist that it's paid back in monthly instalments that you can afford.

He can then explain that this will obviously impact on your desire to visit & communicate with them in future, which is poor timing on their part as there is a child in the way.

Should this lead to reduced time with GC, well then I hope it was worth the £156 quid.

But, can't be fixed now as the harm is already done & they have demonstrated themselves to be tight fisted.

Put some distance between you & them. You need time to understand them properly, this gives you an inkling of their true nature & it's not good.

Turquoisesea · 03/05/2018 16:50

Unless the glass can actually turn water into wine, why would anyone spend that amount on a wine glass! Does it make the drink taste extra nice or something! The stress of potential breakages would be enough for me not to enjoy using them at all!

Flooffloof · 03/05/2018 16:50

I once spent about £9 on one wine glass, by the time I got home the glass had a chip and was unusable. It had been wrapped in paper, put in a box and bag and still it got chipped.
Now I go to asda (other supermarkets available) and buy packs of 6 for 2quid.
The height of rudeness to ask you to pay for a new one.
It pained me to throw away a 9quid glass, I would be devastated if it was 156. But then I wouldn't let someone use such a glass.

FeckinCrunchiesInTheCar · 03/05/2018 16:50

Placemarking, and shameless with it.

timeisnotaline · 03/05/2018 16:50

I hope your dh is normal! Of course talk to him first but it would be fun to forward to dh ,cc mil and say hi honey, just has this from your dad. Good thing we know now, we darent set foot in their place once we have a baby.