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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL has sent be a bill for a broken wine glass

999 replies

pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 14:55

Yes, had to namechange.

Went to PIL' home last weekend, had a glass of wine and I accidentally dropped it. No big deal, they shrugged it off. I get on well with both FIL and MIL, have been with DH for 4 years now and we are having our first child in 4 months.

They're well off.. as in, VERY well off.. DP and I on the other hand live in a rented 3 bed semi-dettached property so definitely not as well off.

I didn't know at the time, but said wine glass apparently happens to be pretty high end. FIL has this morning sent me an e-mail saying that I can just transfer the £156 to him or buy the glass online. He even attached a link and included their address, should I not know it by now(!).

At first I thought it was a joke only to realise that these people have no sense of humor, so they obviously must be expect me to pay them ASAP. Haven't told DH yet. Really shocked at this as they are not known for being stingy.

AIBU not to pay this? I am tempted to buy a £20 glass off Amazon!

OP posts:
Strawberry2017 · 03/05/2018 16:11

To expect you to pay such a ridiculous amount for a glass is awful especially when there is a baby on the way. As if you have £156 spare for wasting.
What a horrible horrible man.
How on earth are you ever going to be able to take your child to visit, you will live in fear of them breaking anything and receiving a bill!

BalloonSlayer · 03/05/2018 16:11

Are you sure there's not something going on between FIL and MIL?

Along the lines of:

MIL puts out best glasses.
FIL says "what are you putting those out for! They cost £156 each!"
MIL says "It's our son and DIL ! Pug is carrying our baby grandchild. If I can't use the best glasses for her when can I?"
FIL harrumphs.
You break glass.
FIL sends you the bill knowing bloody well you will tell DH and he will have a go.
MIL ends up in tears.
FIL says "This is all your fault. None of this would have happened if you'd done what I said."

If you are sure it's not that, then agree with pp, don't visit and when it is mentioned, say you can't afford it.

enterthedragon · 03/05/2018 16:13

Was it the green spiral water glass? If so they are £156 for a set of 2, make sure you keep the spare one just in case of future accidents, I would also be tempted to ask for a proper wine glass next time Grin

Motoko · 03/05/2018 16:14

If I broke something at someone else’s house I would offer to replace it and expect to do so. Your FIL is rude to ask, but it’s even poorer form that the OP didn’t offer in the first place.

It's a wine glass. Glasses often get broken, so you shouldn't expect to get the cost of it reimbursed. And if you do expect reimbursement, you shouldn't use stupidly expensive wine glasses for your guests. It's incredibly bad manners. They didn't even say anything at the time about it being an expensive glass.

corythatwas · 03/05/2018 16:15

Korg Thu 03-May-18 16:08:27
"If I broke something at someone else’s house I would offer to replace it and expect to do so. Your FIL is rude to ask, but it’s even poorer form that the OP didn’t offer in the first place."

Bless you, are you totally incapable of imagining a situation where somebody hasn't actually got £156 to spare? It's not as if the OP was warned beforehand and was able to make a calculation of the risks of accepting a drink at her FIL's hands, is it?

Twoo · 03/05/2018 16:16

Goodness me Pug’. I’d be quite taken aback at such a request, especially as they brushed it aside when it happened.

I’d let your DH read the email and let him to decide how to respond to his father.

But quite honestly it is in very bad taste to request you refund a replacement. I’d ask for paper cups next time Grin

eddielizzard · 03/05/2018 16:16

do it, but always bring your own plastic cup, plate and cutlery to theirs in future. say you can't afford to pay for breakages.

HelloBrass · 03/05/2018 16:17

Placemarking as dying to know what DH thinks about all this.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 03/05/2018 16:17

If I broke something at someone else’s house I would offer to replace it and expect to do so.

Anyone who offers guests drinks in £150+ wine glasses are basically morons.

We are not talking about the OP breaking the TV or putting her foot through the patio door, we are talking about wine glasses. If you can't accept the risk of an accidental breakage don't hand them them out.

ReasonableLlama · 03/05/2018 16:18

If there ever comes a day where I am buying £156 wine glasses, I will know I've made it in life.

Original poster
pugreverywhere · 03/05/2018 16:18

No, to be fair to them, I didn't offer to pay for the glass. I had no idea it was that expensive and they shrugged it off as nothing. FIL even brushed up the pieces and didn't seem upset.

FIL is a bit of a snob in general but MIL is usually lovely so I wouldn't be surprised if she had no idea about this e-mail. She calls me every day to ask how I am doing and if we need everything whereas this is the first time FIL has initiated contact with me through phone/e-ail.

OP posts:
sockunicorn · 03/05/2018 16:18

Grin amazing. To be fair you broke his glass so I would just pay it.

However I then wouldn’t take DGC round and would give “can’t afford for him/her to break anything” as the reason!! Stingy fuckers

SandyY2K · 03/05/2018 16:19

My word. Who does that? From now on I'd take my own glass when visiting... if I actually bothered to visit.

sockunicorn · 03/05/2018 16:19

Would also mentioned it to MIL next time she rings. In a casual “oh, about that glass” kind of way

missbonita · 03/05/2018 16:20

WTF? That is insane. I'd speak to DH and let him respond.

billybagpuss · 03/05/2018 16:21

Def wait for DH.

I love the green glasses link on the first page but bloody hell that cushion is hideous. Not so keen on the Waterford.

I also agree with PP's and maybe get them a cheap set of supermarket glasses and crockery and request that you are served any food or beverages on these in future as you can't afford to risk any further accidents. What on earth are they going to be like when grandchild is in house wrecking mode.

PickAChew · 03/05/2018 16:21

If he couldn't bear for it to be broken, he shouldn't have given it to you to use.

Viviennemary · 03/05/2018 16:22

I think you should pay for the replacement if you broke it. I'd be annoyed if somebody broke such an expensive wine glass in my house.

SandyY2K · 03/05/2018 16:23

It's not poor form not to offer payment. I'd never expect a guest to pay for a broken glass...much less my DIL. The richest people can be tight gits.

expatinspain · 03/05/2018 16:23

That is beyond rude of them! I'm surprised you didn't forward the email to your DH straight away, I would have!!

XJerseyGirlX · 03/05/2018 16:23

whatever you do OP. please dont pay it x

DartmoorDoughnut · 03/05/2018 16:24

I hope your DH just laughs at them! As others have said, if you can’t afford to replace the glass don’t use them!

DS2 toddled our of the dining room earlier in the week carrying one of our wedding present wine glasses 🙈 I managed to resist the urge to squeak with horror and the door to there has been closed ever since 😄 they’ve been used maybe 5 times in 7 years and I wish we’d asked for something less breakable!

Oh yes & fuck off daily mail!

GothMummy · 03/05/2018 16:24

I would not respond, just pass this over to your DH!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/05/2018 16:24

If she can't afford it though, Vivienne. She cant afford it. You can't get blood out of a stone. If she'd deliberately thrown the glass then yes fair enough.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 03/05/2018 16:25

I'd be annoyed if somebody broke such an expensive wine glass in my house.

You would be insanely stupid to offer wine in such an expensive glass to begin with.

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