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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be surprised at "at 2 he should be potty trained"

175 replies

Anxiousally · 02/05/2018 15:06

Read an article in my local news paper a few days ago about a little boy who had been expelled from nursery untill his behaviour improves due to him being violent.
In the story his gran had given the paper a statement saying they felt it was unfair on him as he's only 2, he's still practically a baby he's not even toilet trained.
The paper posted the link to the story on their Facebook page and there were a lot of comments slating the family for complaining about the way the nursery had dealt with this child and then someone copied the part of the story where it mentioned about the toilet training and said "at 2 he bloody should be toilet trained and I was shocked. DS will be 2 next month and I'm not even contemplating potty training as I know he's just not ready yet.
Aibu to be surprised at this opinion, now I'm thinking DS should be trying now and worried he's behind?!

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 02/05/2018 15:09

Mine had to be toilet trained for starting nursery. They were 2 years and 10 months. They're all different. You know your child best, so you'll know when he's ready.

MagicFajita · 02/05/2018 15:10

You're fine op. My eldest two weren't clean and dry until about 3.5. I started toilet training at about 2.

DuggeeHugs · 02/05/2018 15:11

YANBU I'd say it depends on when the child is ready. DS aged 2.5 isn't quite ready yet so I probably won't start until he's about 3. My HV said she'd potty trained one of hers at 2, one at 3 and she found 3 much easier.

Mintychoc1 · 02/05/2018 15:12

mine were both 3.
The people I knew who trained early spent a lot of time cleaning up wee. I waited till my kids were ready enough to do it themselves, and they were 100% dry within a week

Mightymucks · 02/05/2018 15:12

That story was horrible but not because of potty training. His Gran said he had a one year old sister and they fight and play rough (according to her) so sounds like he learned the behaviour because it’s allowed at home. I just felt so sorry for that poor 1 year old being allowed to have a much bigger child be so rough with her and the people who are supposed to care for her dismissing it as ‘playing’

piglet81 · 02/05/2018 15:13

Mine is 3 next week and in nappies. Have tried a few times but he's not keen and I can't be bothered dealing with the mess. I'm sure he'll get the idea in time.

dementedpixie · 02/05/2018 15:14

My ds was 2 when trained but he was ready and others might not be

Smeddum · 02/05/2018 15:14

My youngest is 4 next week and has been potty trained for 2 weeks!!! (He has ASD and other ASN though)

VladmirsPoutine · 02/05/2018 15:14

You need to at least give it a shot. If he doesn't take to it then you'll eventually get there but you need to try. Part of the rules for my DN's nursery were that they needed to be trained before being accepted. An accident here or there is fine but it's not the job of nursery staff to ensure your dc are changed and cleaned.

But this sounds a bit different. You seem to have segued the idea of your son not being toilet trained into a story about another toddler's behaviour of which his toilet training is neither here nor there Confused.

BlueSapp · 02/05/2018 15:15

2 is far to soon to be expecting a child to be fully trained, my dd was 2 in January and she uses the potty sometimes but there is no way she's ready to fully go without a nappy

hellsbellsmelons · 02/05/2018 15:16

As I always say - be careful what you wish for.
Potty training can be a nightmare.
Accidents, bed wetting, loads of extra clothes just in case, watching what the drink, etc.....
My godson is over 3 and not even interested in it.
They all get there eventually.

Original poster
Anxiousally · 02/05/2018 15:20

I was explaining how I came across the comment and was surprised that it was the general opinion I didn't say my son had anything to do with the story Confused

The whole story was bad to be honest but I also found comments on it to be vile calling the child feral is totally wrong!

We're due a baby soon and potty training with a new born is not something I'm willing to try. I plan to try at about 2.5 I wouldn't want to train him now as some toddlers can regress with big changes like having a new sibling.

OP posts:
RBBMummy · 02/05/2018 15:21

Some children can at 2 some can't till 5. It's mostly physical and alot can't be helped. Disgusting people picking on a toddler like that

Fascinate · 02/05/2018 15:23

My boy didn't potty train until he was 3 - 3 and a half. Got up one day and said he wasn't wearing nappies that day. Within a week he was dry at night too. They'll do it when they're good and ready.

madamedepoppadom · 02/05/2018 15:25

I tried it with DS1 at just turned 2 and he really, really wasn't ready. He grasped it pretty quickly when we tried again at 2½. So I just waited until DS2 was 2½ even though in his case there were some indications that he might have been ready to try earlier. I know of lots of children who weren't reliably potty trained until they were closer to 3.

I think the gran is BU to suggest that he shouldn't have any consequences because he's "only a baby" - in the first place he's not a baby if he's 2, in the second place the fact that he's very young means his family should be taking more of the responsibility for helping him with his behaviour. But whoever thinks he should be potty trained is also BU.

Happyandshiney · 02/05/2018 15:26

Back in the day children mostly potty trained earlier because of cloth nappies so perhaps the comment came from someone who was older.

These days it’s not uncommon for three year olds not to be potty trained.

My twins were potty trained before they were two and a half but they seemed to be pretty early among their peers who were mostly closer to three.

Cornishclio · 02/05/2018 15:41

We potty trained my daughters before 2 and that was the advice years ago. I think it is advised to start later now. My DD tried with my DGD aged 2.3 at the beginning of the year and it stressed her out so they stopped. They now have a newborn too so don't think it is worth trying now. I don't think it is unusual to leave it until nearly 3 now.

Oysterbabe · 02/05/2018 15:44

DD is 2.4. planning to give potty training a go in a few months.

RomeoBunny · 02/05/2018 15:44

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Heatherbell1978 · 02/05/2018 15:47

My DS has only just been toilet trained and he's 3 years 8 months. We tried several times from the point he turned 3 (which is normal for boys) and he would hold it in for hours until he became ill. 3 weeks ago he just asked if he could wear pants. Within 48 hours he was peeing and pooing in the toilet and we're about to take his nappies away at night. Not one accident. Compare that with friends I have who started when their LOs were 2 and had months of accidents everywhere they went until they got to grips with it. I also have a DD who I assume will get it quicker but I'll wait until 3.5 again if I have to.

BlueSapp · 02/05/2018 15:50

RomeoBunny what utter rubbish!

Oysterbabe · 02/05/2018 15:54

Why on earth does anyone care exactly when a child is potty trained? The vast vast majority will be at some point between 2 and 4 so what bloody difference does it make when that is?

Mia1415 · 02/05/2018 15:55

My son was nearly 4 before he was fully potty trained. He just wouldn't use the potty or toilet before then and wasn't bothered if he was wet (or worse).

I started trying when he was about 3.5 (well, nursery did the bulk of it as I work FT).

Those of you saying he should have been trained by 2, how exactly would you have done this? Should we have been holding him down on the toilet/ potty screaming and crying until he used it? Or maybe I should have just let him walk around soaking wet. I'm generally intrigued as to what myself and a team of highly qualified and experienced childcare professionals should have been doing differently! Please do enlighten me.

Heatherbell1978 · 02/05/2018 15:56

Romeo are you my mum? I swear every time she talks about when I was toilet trained it goes back a few months. She now thinks I was toilet trained at 9 months and thinks my DD (14 months) should be in pants this summer. I just laugh at her.

RomeoBunny · 02/05/2018 15:57

It's not rubbish at all. Do you remember having your arse wiped at nursery? I certainly don't. Unless there is a development reason behind it or a hormonal one there is no reason why a 2yr old shouldnt be potty trained.

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