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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want my DS to have this hairstyle?

252 replies

greenlantern1 · 01/05/2018 16:41

7 yr DS wants to have streaks razored into the side of his hair, like the footballers have. I can't stand it on young kids - plus I hate buying into that celebrity/sport bullshit culture.

I don't want him to have it. He's going to push for it.

OP posts:
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6
Original poster
greenlantern1 · 01/05/2018 20:33

Why is this thread any more depressing than other Mumsnet threads, NameChanged?

OP posts:
Bluelady · 01/05/2018 20:36

It's just a haircut. If he has it once at the start of the holidays it'll get it out of his system.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/05/2018 20:40

Banning a 13 year old from wearing a tracksuit (jogging bottoms) out of the house seems very severe to me. That's what all the cool kids are wearing. Sad
That's just asking for a teenage rebellion in a couple of years isn't it. Full Goth or Emo probably for the shock factor.

dementedma · 01/05/2018 20:41

if the OP is paying, then OP gets a say.

FrancisUnderwood · 01/05/2018 20:41

It'd be a big fat NO from me too. I wouldn't want to look at that atrocity all summer.

formerbabe · 01/05/2018 20:46

I don't allow my dc to leave the house in jogging bottoms either, unless they are going to a sporting activity

Confused How totally ridiculous and controlling. I try to be pretty easy going about clothes and hairstyles. It's a pretty harmless way for kids and young people to express themselves.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 01/05/2018 20:49

No jogging bottoms =mahoosive snob!!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/05/2018 20:52

I wonder if they ever sneak out of the house in jogging bottoms to a non sporting activity Shock Surely mum isn't always policing the door.

ShawshanksRedemption · 01/05/2018 20:54

Banning a 13 year old from wearing a tracksuit (jogging bottoms) out of the house seems very severe to me. That's what all the cool kids are wearing. sad
That's just asking for a teenage rebellion in a couple of years isn't it. Full Goth or Emo probably for the shock factor.

I can't stand tracksuit bottoms, I see far too many males of all ages with their hands down them! Yuck! As far as I'm concerned they're a fashion crime.

Nothing wrong with Goth/Emo though Grin

adaline · 01/05/2018 20:58

I really don't get the issue. It's hair. It grows.

I would also let my kids dye their hair so long as it's just the wash-in, wash-out stuff.

Fatted · 01/05/2018 20:59

As someone who grew up well into my teens having my controlling mum telling me what I could and couldn't wear, how I had my hair etc, I've grown up with crippling self esteem about my appearance. It's only now in my 30's I have been able to overcome this.

Now I've gone the other way with my kids. Already I let them pick their own clothes and decide on their own hair styles.

I'd let my sons have it as long as school allows it, if not just get it done in summer.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/05/2018 20:59

Parents are supposed to think your clothes are a fashion crime at that sort of age though. That's half the appeal of wearing them.

The same with your music choices growing up which your parents say sounds like a load of rubbish and they don't make music like they used to. Grin

Eolian · 01/05/2018 20:59

how shit have we become as a society if we’re judging people on their hair rather than their behaviour?

Yes, because it's definitely a modern thing to judge people on their appearance Hmm. The range of fashion choices which will not raise an eyebrow is surely wider than it ever has been in history.

My ds is 10 and there's no way I'd let him have that hairstyle. Thankfully he doesn't yet give a monkey's about his hair. He thinks combing it is an unnecessary level of maintenance. Mind you, dd is the same and she's nearly 13!

formerbabe · 01/05/2018 21:02

Nothing wrong with Goth/Emo though

Why? Because that attracts more middle class types? Therefore is more socially acceptable to you to than jogging bottoms which you perceive as working class?

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 01/05/2018 21:03

ShawshanksRedemption has it. :)

I'd have less of a problem with a consistent, thought-through 'style', even if it didn't match my taste personally. But jogging bottoms outside of sport just say 'sloppy' to me.

Assuming those decrying my snobbishness are in the UK, you presumably support, or at least tolerate, ridiculously draconian school uniform rules - and then I get flamed (well, slightly singed) for having certain minimal standards?

Caramelapplecake · 01/05/2018 21:07

He's 7. The answer's no.
When he's17 and he wants to dye it green it's a bit more difficult!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/05/2018 21:09

I suppose that's the thing though LadyOfMediumHeight you're imposing a uniform of sorts on them at home when they have the freedom of not following school uniform rules (which I agree can be draconian).

Sorry you got singed Wink

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 01/05/2018 21:11

NC4Now my DC's school allow any hairstyle, as far as I can see.

TheOrigBrave · 01/05/2018 21:13

Ha! My bastard ex did this to our 9 yos hair. I hate it, it's against the Court Order ("drastic changes in appearance to be discussed" - he has form). School haven't said anything, I think it's more a secondary school rule.

It's hair. I can't take him back to court for it - well I can but I'm not going to.

I don't know if DS likes it, I don't want him to feel torn.

I just want him to look like the sweet lad he is mostly

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 01/05/2018 21:15

My DC are allowed to have their hair any way they want, and have been from age 4.

Plumsofwrath · 01/05/2018 21:15

@angryburd what I think a haircut signifies is neither here nor there. Fact is, OP doesn’t like this haircut for whatever reason, and the boy is 7. If she says no, that’s the end of it.

To add to this thread’s statistics, I allow my 6yo to wear whatever she wants as long as it’s not indecent, and doesn’t have a logo or any words on it. She has her hair however she chooses. She’s not asked for anything out of the ordinary by way of hair; mine is as far from its natural state as it could be. She has asked for unicorn clothes and sparkly stuff; I’ve said no. She’s asked for flip-up shirts, I’ve said yes. That’s how it goes in my house. Not remotely relevant or interesting to anyone else I should think!

Grilledaubergines · 01/05/2018 21:15

I wouldn’t let my teen sons have it done, let alone a 7 year old.

Original poster
greenlantern1 · 01/05/2018 21:16

Well, DS loves joggers and he wears lots of brightly coloured ones and I wouldn't dream of telling him not to. Mostly, though he lives in his football strip which I also tire of, but again, it's his choice. For some reason, I've got a barrier about the hair. Lots of food for thought here

OP posts:
CommanderDaisy · 01/05/2018 21:17

When my DS's were younger, I took a bit of a weird postion on this sort of stuff.My family thought I was nuts, and maybe it was.
I thought if I indulged some of their fashion whims about their appearance ( no permanent modifcations), they might be over it by the time they became a teen.
Also I could use this to my advantage later as they got older with comments like" Oh how cute, just like when you were 6/7/8/9 etc.
So in their early years....

Want to dress in black with skulls ? Have at it - almost all clothing I bought fit their request till they become sick of it.
Want to dye your hair green? Have at it
Want blonde streaks? Yup okay
Want an undercut with some tacky shit razored into it? Sure
Dress like a redneck? Allrighty.
I'm currently working through the "I want to dress like a soccer player at all times look on DS11", and have recently had a request to take him shopping as he's tired of wearing sports stuff .

It actually seems to have worked.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 01/05/2018 21:21

Yes, let him have the cut as the the summer holidays begin.