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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this groom a CF?

358 replies

SaveBandit · 01/05/2018 13:50

I usually love a good CF thread and ones mixed in with weddings are always great. But now that it's happening to us I'm not sure what to do!

We went to a wedding at the weekend for one of DH's colleagues. They had an amazon gift list so DH ordered something from there. It came in quite a big box and the shape of the actual gift meant that we had to wrap the box with the gift inside.

When we arrived we noticed that nobody else had presents, thought nothing of it but people kept commenting and saying "We just got them vouchers/money." We asked DH's colleague, the groom, where to put it and he was quite surprised and said "We weren't expecting gifts. Thank you, can you put it by the post box for cards?"

So we did, forgot all about it and enjoyed the day and night. Towards the end of the night we stood near the post box and I pointed out that ours was still the only present. DH laughed it off and said "Looks like we're the only ones who saw the gift list!" Left a short while after and thought nothing more about the gift.

DH got a message last night from groom saying "Thanks for coming on Saturday and for the gift. We had a bit of a last minute change and decided to ask for money towards the honeymoon instead of what we'd put on the gift list. Can we arrange to send it back and just get the money for it instead? I can pass it back next week when I'm back in work. Really appreciate the thought but definitely think we need a holiday after the stress of wedding planning."

The gift cost £70. DH didn't reply but showed it to me. I was just shocked at how cheeky it was. I'm leaving it up to him to sort because I have only met the couple a handful of times. I do just feel a bit stupid turning up with this huge box when everyone else seemed to be told to give money/vouchers. Dh said this was the first he'd heard of giving money and he has no problem giving money but feels asking if we can return it and give him money instead is a bit out of order.

Should we just return it and leave it at that or does anyone have any choice words or phrases we can reply with?!

OP posts:
SaltireSaltire · 01/05/2018 23:47

Return the gift, keep the money and do nothing more.
See if they are cheeky enough to ask for the money!!

browneyes77 · 01/05/2018 23:55

Unbelievably rude!

If it was me, I’d return the gift and then tell em bollocks and not give them a damn penny and keep my hard earned money for myself rather than dishing out cash to unappreciative, cheeky, rude gits.

But that’s me Grin

However, if this isn’t the route you’d want to go down, then I’d be inclined to either just tell them it was too late to return the item so tough shit. Or return the item and give them much less money instead.

SimonBridges · 01/05/2018 23:59

“mini-moon”. They can get to fuck just for that.

VimFuego101 · 02/05/2018 00:07

Please, please, please do the donkey sanctuary donation idea.

Carouselfish · 02/05/2018 01:04

re. grandparents and teaching your daughter to be 'honest' when she doesn't like their gifts:
When honesty and rudeness conflict, you can choose to be honest if you need to be, but you ARE still being rude as heck.
When it's about receiving a gift 'honesty' isn't exactly a life or death situation, it's just saying your desires are more important than the thought, time and effort the person put into choosing a gift they thought you'd like.
Yes, the grandparents say they want to give her gifts she'll like. If she carries on saying she loves them regardless, they'll be happy. She can just laugh off yet another weird jumper from gran. Or she can be rude, ungrateful, disappoint her old relations who sadly aren't up to date with the latest trends, but at least she'll have an item of clothing she can wear for a while and she'll have been 'honest'.

Italiangreyhound · 02/05/2018 01:23

I'd say, you are welcome to return it to the shop if you like (and posy them the receipt).

Italiangreyhound · 02/05/2018 01:23

Post!

ThereIsAlwaysDrama · 02/05/2018 01:30

Just say that you used a gift voucher and a discount offer to buy the gift. If they want cash, £20 is all you can afford. He'll soon change his mind.

Nunya · 02/05/2018 01:38

I've just got off the phone to DH and he said that he bought it three weeks ago and by the time the groom gets back from their "mini-moon" in Italy and gives him the present it might be too late to return.

^THIS. Even if it wasn't true, I would tell the CF that this is the case and that would be the last that they would hear from me regarding it! I can't believe that the groom had the nerve to request you to return it and give them cash instead! Especially after having a gift registry in place. How incredibly RUDE!

ferntwist · 02/05/2018 07:22

YANBU. That is seriously rude. I’d be inclined to take it back and not give any cash. ‘We really need a holiday after the stress of organising the wedding.’ What a wally.

SaltireSaltire · 02/05/2018 07:52

After getting your gift back to return to the store I'd send

Dear CF,
Sorry we did not get the message about cash instead of gifts. We have returned the gift as requested, and to save you further embarrassment or inconvenience we have made a donation to XX charity in your name.
We hope that you enjoy your honeymoon.
Yours
❤️

guiltynetter · 02/05/2018 08:00

I returned something large to amazon recently and it was a real pain (especially as i didn’t have the original box) when choosing to return something you get the option to email the returns label etc to somebody else, so i would definitely do that, email it to the work friend. ask him to return it himself then give money of less than the value. but i would be annoyed about it, it’s so cheeky!

buckeejit · 02/05/2018 08:11

I'd say 'that is quite rude & I'm afraid we're unable to return it. Thanks for a lovely day at the wedding & enjoy your holiday'

FinallyHere · 02/05/2018 09:30

I might go with the suggestions to return it and transfer £50

Haha giving them less money would be hilarious but I think they'd ask for the rest of it!

Now I think that you owe it to this thread, @SaveBandit to try it and tell us what happens. Surely even they wouldn't ask for the balance

Aeroflotgirl · 02/05/2018 10:06

No he was very cheeky, take back the present and give him £20, £50 too much, tough he should have accepted the present that they put down on the list, with good grace.

billybagpuss · 02/05/2018 11:50

what have you decided to do OP

titchy · 02/05/2018 11:57

Amazon allow recipients to return gifts and receive the money direct. tell him that. Adn he has a year.

thewooster · 02/05/2018 12:39

I'd tell him the car boot I bought the gift from isn't on again until the last week in May and even then, it's not possible to refund as Shifty John said it was sold sight as seen. If he's desperate for the cash, I can take back the gift and give him the tenner it cost. He pays to return the gift to my door intact before said tenner is handed over.

CF indeed! Whatever you do, don't give him anymore than £20.

livefornaps · 02/05/2018 13:24

Looool donkey sanctuary!!!

I hate to be the one asking for an update but

I really really want an update!!!!

amusedbush · 02/05/2018 13:45

Or tell them that you've also had a last minute change of plan and donated the refund to a donkey sanctuary.

Oh god, please do this. My mum once "bought" each of my grannies an Oxfam goat and one loved it, while the other had a face like a smacked arse on Christmas morning. Top entertainment Grin

LucyEvans26 · 02/05/2018 14:27

Woooooow!! That is beyond! We asked for money towards our honeymoon, some people didn't want to and gave us presents instead and we were more than grateful and happy with this! The couple should just be grateful for what they've been given! cheeky!!

Eatalot · 02/05/2018 15:05

Defo exchange and give them vastly less as well as make them wait.

bathildab · 02/05/2018 15:09

Take it back and give £20 cash = genius Grin

TomRavenscroft · 02/05/2018 15:17

Why do people keep suggesting returning the item and giving the CF a smaller amount of money? I'd give them Fanny Adams.

Smeddum · 02/05/2018 15:19

Return the gift, keep the money and do nothing more
See if they are cheeky enough to ask for the money!!

I was going to write this but a PP got there first. Cheeky fuckers, I think that he’s been really ungrateful!

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