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AIBU?

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Original poster

I didn't like a 'tell-tale' when I was younger and I still don't

281 replies

LittleMonkeysWideAwake · 30/04/2018 09:08

Those kids that tell on the teacher all the time, or tell you off in a high and mighty way. I didn't like them as a kid, and I don't like them as adults now!

This morning another parent at sons school told me off for my inappropriate parking. I was of course in the wrong! And said so, and apologised. But I'm fuming inside!!! I can't stand busy- bodies who go out of their way to tell me off!

Grrrrrr

Just a rant!

Are you one of those parents? (and we're you one of those kids?) and why do you do it?

OP posts:
MissWilmottsGhost · 30/04/2018 15:29

I wonder if you are one of those selfish cunts parents that turn in the road outside my child's school right in front of the NO TURNING IT PUTS CHILDREN'S LIVES AT RISK sign Hmm

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/04/2018 15:47

No it isn't. It's about people pointing out to other people that they're doing something that might endanger another person for example the OP parked in a place where she shouldn't have at school.

GinandGingerBeer · 30/04/2018 15:51

And as a kid I fared the no-it-all that would tell on me or tell me off!

*
It's 'know it all' Op* GrinWink

FlapAttack23 · 30/04/2018 15:52

You just need to stop being a dick. Problem solved

TawnyPort · 30/04/2018 16:06

My children have been going in hot tubs since they were 6 or 7.I've never been told they're not allowed

Every spa, pool, hotel , anywhere I have ever been has had a sign saying no under 16s or 18's allowed in the hot tub.

Although I have seen many parents ignore it'.

OrchidInTheSun · 30/04/2018 16:10

Oh really? I've never ignored a sign but, with the exception of centerparcs, they've all been private rather than shared

Talith · 30/04/2018 16:10

Im going to disagree with you OP! Both me and my kids point out parking on double yellows/zig zags. I definitely call out littering or shit driving. Maybe I'm unreasonable but it makes me fume to see people passively allowing crap behaviour. I even ran after a shoplifter last month screaming at him to put the things back. (He didn't). It was quite therapeutic tbh.

blackteasplease · 30/04/2018 16:30

YABU

Don't keep flouting the rules if you don't want to be told about it / reported!

PigletJohn · 30/04/2018 16:38

After careful consideration, I have decided that Sprinkles should not be disagreeing with people on this thread. Even if they are completely wrong, and wilfully saying bad things, she should keep her mouth shut and say nothing.

Lizzie48 · 30/04/2018 16:44

I hate the term 'tell-tale'. It enables bullies to get away with what they do. I was abused at home and bullied at school, and I was never able to come to an adult to talk about anything, because I just didn't believe anyone cared enough to help me. Even now, I find it hard to ask for help.

Obviously children do try to get each other in trouble. My DDs do it all the time. I don't tell them not to tell tales. I know very well when one of them is actually hurt and not just laying it on thick. I want them to feel able to come to me, even if it does turn out to be a storm in a teacup.

But the incident the OP told about isn't about telling tales. The other parent didn't complain to the head teacher, he just called the OP on her bad parking. A lot of people get really fed up with bad parking on the school run; the head teacher at my DDs' school regularly emails us about this issue. It also hacks off the local residents. We should all be considerate.

paddypants13 · 30/04/2018 16:59

Hmmm, dd is a bit of a tell tale and I was as a child.

She is/ I was just a stickler for the rules and fairness. She's 5, she can't deal with it herself so she tells an adult if she thinks someone is doing something wrong.

I have learnt to ignore many things to avoid my blood pressure getting too high! However, if I see something that is dangerous, illegal or cruel I will tell tales. Maybe that makes me a prig, I don't care.

blackteasplease · 30/04/2018 17:21

I agree that the expression tell tale is a horrible one.

Like the kind of thing that would be use to discourage people from reporting domestic violence, bullying etc

So is busy body mind you. An idea that you shouldn't step in if you see something thsts not right, someone being abused etc.

Viviennemary · 30/04/2018 17:34

In any case nobody reported the OP to anyone they just told her off for careless parking. So it's not the same as telling tales. Reporting her to the school would be telling tales.

Lizzie48 · 30/04/2018 17:44

In the workplace, the phrase is 'whistleblower'. There are a lot of whistleblowers we all owe a debt to. Sometimes it's important to speak out.

Having said that, there are children that seem to enjoy getting other children into trouble. One of DD2's friends is a bit like that, I think. I often hear her saying things to her mum about other children. She told me about an incident between DD2 and DD1 during the day, which really wasn't her place to tell me.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/04/2018 17:51

This wasn't telling tales. The OP used the incorrect phrase. Her title should have been " I didn't like being told off when I was in the wrong when I was younger and I still don't "

applesandpears56 · 30/04/2018 17:55

I hate people that can’t follow the rules and think they are better than everyone else and that rules don’t apply to them

MaisyPops · 30/04/2018 17:57

I hate the term 'tell-tale'. It enables bullies to get away with what they do
There is a difference between a tell tale and someone rightly reporting bullying.

Tell tales are the type who come and claim bullying because their friends brought a packed lunch without telling them and obviously it's because they are mean. Reality- friends had a lunch club so needed a packup in order to attend the club in time. Tell tale didn't want to do the club but obviously it's that the friends are mean.

Tell tales disrupt the lesson to let you know that Harriet has the pink highlighter and won't swap. Just use another highlighter. I have given you one each.

OP you were called out for shitty parking. That's not telling tales.

Lizzie48 · 30/04/2018 18:06

That's true, MaisyPops my DD2's friend fits that criteria. But the problem is that bullies use the phrase to stop their victims from speaking out. It goes on into adulthood in the criminal world where it's totally frowned on to be a 'grass'.

Parents and teachers just need to get to the bottom of each incident as best they can and be firm but fair. I have to do that with my DDs, I can imagine that it's much harder for teachers who have 30 children to keep in line, and I have total respect now.

I just wouldn't want children to be discouraged from approaching an adult to disclose abuse at home or bullying at school.

LucilleBluth · 30/04/2018 18:24

TawnyPort busy body...there is a sign saying no under 8s. 😀

TawnyPort · 30/04/2018 18:28

If you say so

amicissimma · 30/04/2018 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

llangennith · 30/04/2018 20:58

Telling the teacher is encouraged these days, you don’t hear the term tell-tale much in schools.

MaisyPops · 30/04/2018 21:51

A bit more 'tale-telling' might have stopped some of the abusers we've been hearing about lately in their tracks
But tell taling ISN'T reporting bullying or harrassment or whistleblowing . It's telling tales.

I have had to move a prize tattle taler in a class once because ultimately they were obsessed with getting others into trouble. Every lesson or so there'd be something about someone (I give out coloured pens bur Harry is mean because he won't get into swapping pens, they have to work as a group but obviously the whole group are horrible, everyone else shares ideas but tell tale won't share ideas in a group task and then tells tales on others who I have just watched share ideas). By mid ks3, tattle tale also became an expert in claiming an endless stream of children were bullying them. They weren't. Unfortunately tattle tale didn't like the fact that trying to get people into trouble meant other children didn't really want to hang around with you.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 30/04/2018 22:09

What's the difference Maisie? They're telling tales lying? Or they're 'telling tales' which is the truth and you just can't be bothered to deal with it. Telling tales means to me that someone is reporting a wrong doing however insignificant that may be and you are brushing it aside as something that doesn't matter. But it really does matter sometimes. I hope your not a teacher.

MaisyPops · 30/04/2018 22:25

What's the differenceMaisie? They're telling tales lying? Or they're 'telling tales' which is the truth and you just can't be bothered to deal with it.
You hope I'm not a teacher because I don't like it when children try to land each other in trouble? Riight.

So I give each child in the class a highlighter and child A gets yellow and child B gets blue, but child B really wants yellow and asks to swap. Child A says no. This is the middle of a lesson. When child B tells a tale on child A because 'they won't swap colours', what I should do is stop the lesson, call a halt to learning and tell child A off because child B thinks telling tales will get them what they want?

When I am sat with a group of students and have heard each child share an idea, when child C claims nobody is doing the work and the other children are stealing their ideas, the correct thing to do is stop learning, validate child C's totally inaccurate picture of their peers and reprimand the others for doing the task set?

When some gcse students decide they are going to go in the cold dinner queue and get a sandwich before heading to drama to work on their mock piece and child D (who doesn't even study that subject!) claims that is the other children being horrible, I should absolutely go and have words with the children going to a drama rehearsal. How dare they go and work on their mock piece when it doesn't include child D.

There is a difference between telling tales and rightly whistleblowing, reporting bullying, harrassment etc.