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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I didn't like a 'tell-tale' when I was younger and I still don't

281 replies

LittleMonkeysWideAwake · 30/04/2018 09:08

Those kids that tell on the teacher all the time, or tell you off in a high and mighty way. I didn't like them as a kid, and I don't like them as adults now!

This morning another parent at sons school told me off for my inappropriate parking. I was of course in the wrong! And said so, and apologised. But I'm fuming inside!!! I can't stand busy- bodies who go out of their way to tell me off!

Grrrrrr

Just a rant!

Are you one of those parents? (and we're you one of those kids?) and why do you do it?

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 30/04/2018 09:31

But this parent has almost now made me want to rebel and do it again!!

That makes you sound like a total child. You clearly can't bear to be found in the wrong. In which case, your behaviour needs to be whiter than white. It wasn't.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 30/04/2018 09:32

I wasn't that kid at school, but the righteousness has grown on me.

Nikephorus · 30/04/2018 09:32

But I just hate these know-it-alls! 'teachers pet' types!
But they're not. They're just people who don't think that those who do things wrong should be allowed to continue. Miles better than people who complain inwardly but do bugger all.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 30/04/2018 09:34

Also OP I suspect YOU may be repressing an inner goody-goody. If you were a genuine scofflaw you would be stung by criticism, because you wouldn't feel THE GUILT.

maxthemartian · 30/04/2018 09:34

Grow up. You clearly think you're too special and important to follow rules.

OohMavis · 30/04/2018 09:34

I can understand a child having a problem with 'being told off' but I'd expect an adult to be able to deal with being told they're wrong.

happinessischocolate · 30/04/2018 09:36

I'm a grown adult! I don't need other parents 'calling me out' or telling me off!

Except you obviously do because there's a reason that there's no parking zones around schools and it's not so that the space is saved for you when you're having a bad day.

OohMavis · 30/04/2018 09:36

Part of being a well-rounded adult is being able to take criticism on board. If we can't do that, every area of our lives eventually suffer.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 30/04/2018 09:39

Unfortunately you have met here this morning, all of those people who get really annoyed when other people don't park properly and for the most part we snarl and seethe and are cheering the person who pointed out your error this morning. She wasn't saying, 'Miss, miss, Sarah's eating chewing gum,' she was saying, 'Sarah, you are not allowed to leave your bike there because it blocks the entrance to the swings.'

Mightymucks · 30/04/2018 09:39

I really hate people who admonish kids for ‘telling tales’ if kids feel scared or threatened or they think someone is putting themselves in danger or doing serious damage to property they should feel confident telling an adult and not feel they are ‘telling tales’. One of my friends does this because her kid hits other kids, but if they tell her she turns the blame around onto them by accusing them of ‘telling tales’. I can’t leave my child alone with them now because I can’t trust her to be someone my child can talk to for help if he’s scared or being hurt.

Most teachers and parents are capable of telling the difference between malicious tale telling (Johnny just said ‘bum’) and things which need action (Johnny just hit me in the face) so children shouldn’t feel bad turning to an adult when they need help.

You should also be careful OP, if you’re discouraging your children from ‘tale telling’ something serious might happen like bullying or heaven forbid something worse and they won’t feel confident telling you.

Pikehau · 30/04/2018 09:40

Op I understand. And I assume it was drop off so not parking for the day.

Why? Who knows but I’m short must make her feel good. Most people have too much else going on at drop off the get involved!

Yes mumsnet is harsh....bet most of us would park slightly badly in your situation!

bannanapeppers · 30/04/2018 09:40

op i hate these type of people i know what u mean by the teacher pet type people. At my childrens school it usually goes hand in hand with being one of those parent council parents who think they are god at the school gates.

KnittinKitten · 30/04/2018 09:41

IME the kids who didnt like tell tales were always the ones who would pick on (bully) you and then call you a grass for doing exactly what the adults say you let supposed to do.

The adults who didn’t like tell tales were the parents who couldnt be arsed parenting their kids so called you a tell tale to shame you so you would go away and let them carry on gossiping or drinking or watching the football.

pigmcpigface · 30/04/2018 09:41

I'm in two minds. I hate 'rules for rules's sake' people. There are some cases where, for whatever reason, circumstances change and being utterly rigid becomes ridiculous. Like when it's 2am and you're in the 24 hour supermarket and you've alone but you've parked in one of 14 free 'parent and child spaces' because you know for a fact no-one is going to need them at that time, and there are literally only 2 other cars in the entire carpark!

If you do something that actually causes someone else upset or hassle, though, expect to be called on it.

I was travelling back from London on the train and a bunch of drunk women in their 50s got on. It was fairly late, and they were listening to music on their smartphones and wiggling around in their seats 'dancing'. I asked them politely to turn it down, because it was annoying, and the woman opposite me was having a really bad day (she had just had some very bad news and was crying). Despite the fact that a bunch of other passengers joined in telling them to STFU, they were abusive for the next 3 hours, telling me I 'didn't know what fun was' and continuing to play the music, and were then abusive getting off the train. Utterly classless way to behave.

Original poster
LittleMonkeysWideAwake · 30/04/2018 09:42

Ok! :( looks like I'm in the wrong - twice! Once for my rubbish parking! A second time for not liking the (pompous) man that 'called me out'! And now for ranting on mumsnet!!!

Thanks for hearing my rant and calling me out (again!!) !!

(I do still think there's an air is superiority and judgementalism in people like this man this mornin, though!)

OP posts:
YorkieDorkie · 30/04/2018 09:43

YABU. If no one called people out for being wrong/inconsiderate etc then we'd all just live with our tails tucked between our legs letting those with bigger bollocks than us walk all over everyone. I think the only reason some people do the right thing is for fear that someone would "say something".

bigmouthstrikesagain · 30/04/2018 09:43

Telling tales is not what you experienced today op. So yabu.

I tell my kids not to grass on each other, but if they are being hurt or upset by someone at school then they are also told to tell a teacher. Telling tales is informing authorities (teacher/ parent etc.) that little Johnny is picking his nose or other things wholly unconnected to themselves. So in this case op you were in the wrong, the parent appear you directly and you didn't like it. Fair enough, but own your behaviour, no one likes a whiner! 😂

SoupDragon · 30/04/2018 09:44

How do you balance “tell tale” with making sure bad events are flagged up? If no one “tells tales” then where does that leave us?

MirriVan · 30/04/2018 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LittleMonkeysWideAwake · 30/04/2018 09:45

Ah bananapeppers :) you get where I'm coming from :) thanks!! (Was beginning to feel a bit alone and a bit rubbish!!!)

OP posts:
NettleTea · 30/04/2018 09:46

yup. Ive been trying to get my son to tell the teacher about the boy who keeps strangling him at school, but he is scared of being called a snitch.

finally, last night, when fearful of going to school again, he agreed that I should write to his form teacher

being scared to be thought a snitch is responsible for bullies getting away with it. The kids who break the rules in one way, often break them in others. And why should other kids have to suffer the twattish behaviour of kids who think they can do what the fuck they want without consequences

Original poster
LittleMonkeysWideAwake · 30/04/2018 09:47

Very possibly MirriVan! - would you go up to someone you'd never met, who wasn't causing any harm, wasn't parking anyone in, wasn't putting anyone at risk, just to point out they were contravening the parking rules though? And mthe st importantly - why?

OP posts:
GertieMotherwell · 30/04/2018 09:47

How is that telling tales?!
Telling tales would have been reporting you without talking to you.

She did the correct thing.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 30/04/2018 09:47

I secretly fume when people break 'rules'. For example, don't pick the bluebells. But it's OK for MY child to pick them because it's only one or two. Wrong. Don't park on double yellow lines. But it's ok for ME to do it because I'll only be a minute. Wrong. Don't walk on the walls of a historic ruin. But it's ok for MY child because they're too young to know any better. Wrong. If everyone did this(didn't adhere to rules) it would become the norm. Don't know if I could call someone out on it but if I was was in the wrong and someone called me Id take it on the chin.

GertieMotherwell · 30/04/2018 09:49

Depends
Are the parking regulations there for the safety of the children?
Could you have parked legally further up the road and walked?

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