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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL opened my birthday present

134 replies

cocktailsausages · 29/04/2018 00:32

It's my birthday and I had a small get together with family. An aunt gave a present to MIL to give me as she couldn't make it. MIL opened both the present and the card before she came. I know because she told me. And anyway you could tell they had been opened and resealed.

WTF?

I didn't say anything tonight because I didn't want to cause a scene. I now wish I'd said something. Is it too late?

OP posts:
Sice · 30/04/2018 18:01

Oh my yourShock MIL is quite cheeky call her to order asap

Amunamun · 30/04/2018 18:04

Ugh, that is very rude and I would like to hear an explanation why she did it. I would tell this to your aunt who gave the present to MIL. And I would probably keep my distance from MIL...

sockunicorn · 30/04/2018 18:06

@fairyface you just reminded me of something my DM did a few years ago!! My paypal was based at her house as I had that as my base while at uni. I ordered some hair serum and it arrived there by mistake as sometimes websites took my paypal address rather than my delivery address. We have the same surname but totally different first name, so its not easy to get our post confused. But I would find every bank statement opened and most other things. She would also hand me a pile of opened "junk mail" whenever I returned home. I didn't care too much as I was 18 and didn't receieve anything important and had no money in my bank anyway! Pretty much all she could do was see how much I had spent on cheap shots at wetherspoons that week Grin.

Anyway my parcel arrives and she has a group of ladies round for their crochet day. My DM "accidentally" opened it and was greeted by THIS! Im pretty sure she would have been showing off about how she orders online (all her friends are too old for this) and how amazing it is that things just come in the post etc etc. I got a very angry phone call afterwards as I shouldnt be ordering "things like that". Took me a while to understand what the hell she was talking about, followed by me screaming "read the writing on the back!! its hair serum" over and over at her Grin. I then asked what she thought it was and she hung up. We never discussed it again, she just put it in my room. Funnily she never mistook my parcels for hers again.

sockunicorn · 30/04/2018 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatEscalatedQuickly · 30/04/2018 18:11

I've ordered that serum in the past sock and had it delivered to work (which we are allowed to do). Only I forgot they X-ray parcels for security reasons. I'm now famous amongst the post handlers for all the wrong reasons.....

Kim1010 · 30/04/2018 18:16

WOW! What a cheeky mare!! I would ask your sweet ole mil why she opened it?
And how very rude you think she is!
Also I would mention it to the Aunt when you thank her for the gift!! Other than that hope you had a 🎉happy birthday ..🎉

sockunicorn · 30/04/2018 18:20

Grin @ThatEscalatedQuickly

Mumofkids · 30/04/2018 18:22

Is there any way she opened the present and was confused by it so then opened the card and realised she'd made a mistake?

LoveManyTrustfew · 30/04/2018 18:31

I have wine every evening, I have yet to open someone elses gifts. Grin

GabsAlot · 30/04/2018 18:33

she said she wanted a peek|?

sound slike she was drunk to me-you dont have to be falling over legless to be an alcoholic most have normal jobs/lives they just drink everyday their body is used to it

unfortunately the mind isnt

FairyFace · 30/04/2018 18:35

@sockunicorn, I'm crying laughing ,hahahaha it does look like a sex toy though. too funny

CoolCarrie · 30/04/2018 18:49

My mil was going to open our wedding gifts, until my dm told her, in no uncertain terms, to leave them alone!

ton181 · 30/04/2018 18:57

Did she remove anything from said card &/or present?

hdh747 · 30/04/2018 18:58

@ThatEscalatedQuickly and @sockunicorn, GrinGrin

maclinks · 30/04/2018 19:11

In her defense, maybe her sister said "I bought this for your daughter in law, what do you think , is it ok ?" . Se therefore opened it and gave her sister reassurance it was ok, sealed it, thinking you would not notice... I would try and put this one behind you and pick your fights on things that matter

Snapey2008 · 30/04/2018 19:24

Very odd that she did that, I would ask her why.

I told my MIL what I'd bought my DH for his birthday & she told him. I regretted not saying anything as it really bugged me that she did that.

browneyes77 · 30/04/2018 19:26

sockunicorn I use the same hair stuff!

NemosMum21 · 30/04/2018 19:26

If it is out of character, could she have early-onset dementia?

starlight13 · 30/04/2018 19:41

What is is with MILs? I'm still coming to terms and now 'working through' with a counsellor the upset that I had when my MIL chose to die on my birthday. And yes, some may remember that mumsnet deleted my original post regarding this upsetting subject as apparently I'm not allowed to have any feelings about it and it must be me with the issues and it couldn't possibly be real! She was terminally ill and she chose my birthday to die on - simple as that. My husband has since told me that during her last few hours she admitted to him that she had chosen this. And the reason? She could never deal with the fact that her DS had another woman in his life and she had made it her business to destroy it.
So I guess that I'm trying to say that MILs have some serious shit to deal with when it comes to DILs and they will go to any extremes to come out on top. In this case OP she prob wanted to know what other gifts you were getting so that she could better it and look more impressive? It is esentially having control over her son and his life still.
Also, apparently mumsnet say that I can swear the fucking crap out of a post and use swear language for no apparent reason but anything to do with MIL issues is a risky area!

imweirdandcool · 30/04/2018 20:08

bloody out if order

BrownTurkey · 30/04/2018 20:27

Impulsive under control, hence the drinking too much.

WingsOnMyBoots · 30/04/2018 21:01

Damn cheek! Sort of person who would read your diary or riffle through your drawers.

Abbylee · 30/04/2018 21:47

As a future mil, I will tell you now, dil's are not always kind, loving angels.
My mil is evil on a stick, but my nephew's wife treats my sil horribly.

I think EVERYONE should try to get along. Sons/dh/dc/dgc deserve respect and that means biting your tongue and smiling through gritted teeth, do it. Both sides. Fighting, bickering, just makes the people that you love most feel terrible.

That said, I told a perfect stranger that she shouldn't use the excuse that mil/dil do not get along to treat her dil badly. She should not brag about it in public or do it in private.

As my mil drove off and left me, in the cold rain, to get down my driveway and into my house on my own while suffering a miscarriage while dh was out of town, and hospital made her drive me, I think that I understand nasty mil.
Play nice.

Abbylee · 30/04/2018 22:00

My mil took 5 grapefruit spoons when she came to feed our cat. Also an antique glass from my grandmother's 6 pc set. Just mean and petty. I gave up trying to understand when she then accused me of stealing a necklace. Confused

She would have taken the full set of 6 spoons but I had thrown one in our road trip cooler (They are handy utensils). I still tear up when I think of my beloved grandmother's glass thrown out to spite me.

We have been married 30 years and mil has never liked me. Now, I hold my ground and do my best to ignore her. One of her dd's is nasty too. I will never have peace.

LittleMia · 30/04/2018 22:00

CAn you choose to die on a certain day? Not to make light of your feelings, just confused??