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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DD 13 to watch inappropriate films?

117 replies

CornyCollins · 28/04/2018 22:59

DD has just messaged me from a sleepover to say they’re about to watch a 15 rated film that I think is quite inappropriate.
I’v always been quite careful with what they watch at home but she has seen one or two 15 rated things but only after I watched them first and decided they were ok for her to see.

She hasn’t seen this film before and I would rather she didn’t. But I don’t want to embarrass her at the sleepover.
I texted back to say I would rather she didn’t watch it and that it’s quite late & perhaps she can just get some sleep but am quite pissed off at the parents who are letting the girls watch this stuff.

I would never just assume it was ok to put a 15 film on for a group of 12/13 year olds without checking with the parents!? AIBU?

OP posts:

Featherbag · 28/04/2018 23:00

It depends, what's the film?

AjasLipstick · 28/04/2018 23:03

Well OP....it depends on her and also the film. My DD is 13 and has watched 15 films with no problem. But a highly sensitive child might have nightmares I suppose...what film?

MrsFogi · 28/04/2018 23:03

YANBU I would not be happy that effectively it is a fait accompli.

Fruitcorner123 · 28/04/2018 23:06

Yes the parents should have asked. How extreme is this film? If you are really concerned it will affect her you could contact them. If its just that you would orefer but not the end of the world I would be more inclined to speak to them later and ask them not to put your DD in that position again.

cariadlet · 28/04/2018 23:08

YNBU.

My dd's 15 and I don't really censor watch she watches now (she doesn't like very scary or very violent films which I would probably still be stopping her from watching if she wanted to see them), but I certainly was careful with what she watched when she was younger.

I've always stuck to appropriately age related films at sleepovers as you never know what other parents would be happy for their children to see.

Original poster

CornyCollins · 28/04/2018 23:11

It’s The Kingsman. I know it’s not a horror or anything like that but it has some strong violence and references to sex “in the asshole” that I just wouldn’t expose her to if it were up to me. I absolutely loved the movie but it’s just not something I’m happy for DD to watch just yet! She’s quite a young 13.

One of her friends regularly watches 18 rated stuff (like Saw for example) and teases my DD when she says she doesn’t like that stuff.

I’m annoyed that the parents didn’t check first as a courtesy.

OP posts:

KeepServingTheDrinks · 28/04/2018 23:30

I 100% agree that those parents were out of order. They should have phoned or texted you (and any other parents) to check you were ok with it first.

AjasLipstick · 28/04/2018 23:30

Yes it's not something I'd put on for a gang of kids that age! I'm quite permissive too....my DD watches RuPaul's Drag race and I know that's a bit suggestive at times but violence is not something I'd really be into allowing.

MoreWinging · 28/04/2018 23:37

Never heard of The Kingsman. What's it about?

Original poster

CornyCollins · 28/04/2018 23:42

Thanks guys, at least I know I’m not being hysterical.
Unfortunately DD texted back to say the parents don’t know and that her friend put it on her iPad. DD asked to watch something else but was overruled by the other girls.

She said she’s just going to go to sleep. I have that impotent anger thing going on now! I will speak to the mum this week, as a PP said I don’t want DD being put in this position again just because they can’t be arsed to offer any supervision.

OP posts:

Poptart4 · 28/04/2018 23:45

I watched the kingsmen a few years ago, I can't fully remember it but I don't think it was too bad. It's an action film not a horror or porn.

I think your being overprotective op. Watching a 15's film at 13 is hardly the end of the world. As our kids get older especially once they're teenagers we have less and less control over what they are exposed to. She's growing up, you can't baby her forever.

At least she was honest and told you straight away. Sounds like a sensible girl. Please DO NOT embarrasse her at this sleepover, she'll never live it down.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 28/04/2018 23:48

Your being very over the top, the Kingsmen is fine for a 13 yo to watch. If that is the worse you have to worry about at a teenagers sleepover then you are to controlling.

halcyondays · 28/04/2018 23:49

I don't know anyone who didn't watch 15 rated films from about the age of 13 when I was a teenager. I wouldn't speak to the mum tbh.

tillytrotter1 · 28/04/2018 23:51

Apparently I drove my then 11 year old home with white knuckles from a sleepover when she was talking about Dirty Dancing, I was going off the title, had never seen it. Fast forward thirty years and she was debating if her daughter, also 11, was old enough to see it even though her daughter was older than she'd been.
Surprised that Kingsman is a 15, it's a load of nonsense, phoney violence, Star Wars is scarier.

Original poster

CornyCollins · 28/04/2018 23:51

I don’t think objecting to a film that talks about having sex up the asshole is babying anyone PopTart. She’s fucking 13.

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 28/04/2018 23:52

I wouldn’t have any general concerns about a 13 year old watching a 15.

Bunchofdaffodils · 28/04/2018 23:53

Yes, don’t speak to the mum. Your daughter will get laughter (or worse).

YouTheCat · 28/04/2018 23:54

Bloody hell! She's 13 and you won't let her watch Kingsman? She won't even notice the 'up the bum' bit because it's fleeting anyway. The film is hilarious.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 28/04/2018 23:55

I will speak to the mum this week, as a PP said I don’t want DD being put in this position again just because they can’t be arsed to offer any supervision.

Oh please, no. That will make absolutely sure your child gets teased and never invited to another sleepover again! The best thing you can do OP is let it go, but politely turn down future sleepover invites drama free.

Bunchofdaffodils · 28/04/2018 23:56

Do you know about IMDb parents guides? Tell you what’s in a film so you at least know what she’s been exposed to and can talk about it afterwards.

Poptart4 · 28/04/2018 23:56

@corny it is a throw away comment in the movie that you seem to be fixated on it'll probably go right over her head.

19lottie82 · 28/04/2018 23:56

DD texted back to say the parents don’t know and that her friend put it on her iPad

You’re lucky all they’re watching is Kingsmen then!

I will speak to the parents this week..... I
don’t want DD to be put in this position again

Oh god........ don’t. You’ll look like a loon.
And your DDs peers will laugh at her, at the very least.

They didn’t watch porn or a horrendous horror, it’s an action movie FGS!

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 28/04/2018 23:57

I think the Kingsman is fine for 13 tbh, she will have heard a he'll of a lot worse than that at school, it's mostly just a funny action film.

I think the fact that your 13 yr old dd feels the need to text her mum to say shes watching a 15 film at a sleepover is quite worrying. I had overprotective parents and even they let me watch 15 films at 13 and I would nt expect that close supervision at a sleepover at 13.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/04/2018 23:57

I think you are massively overreacting.

BuntyII · 28/04/2018 23:59

If Colin Firth is in it, you can probably be sure it's safe

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