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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DD 13 to watch inappropriate films?

117 replies

CornyCollins · 28/04/2018 22:59

DD has just messaged me from a sleepover to say they’re about to watch a 15 rated film that I think is quite inappropriate.
I’v always been quite careful with what they watch at home but she has seen one or two 15 rated things but only after I watched them first and decided they were ok for her to see.

She hasn’t seen this film before and I would rather she didn’t. But I don’t want to embarrass her at the sleepover.
I texted back to say I would rather she didn’t watch it and that it’s quite late & perhaps she can just get some sleep but am quite pissed off at the parents who are letting the girls watch this stuff.

I would never just assume it was ok to put a 15 film on for a group of 12/13 year olds without checking with the parents!? AIBU?

OP posts:
greenlynx · 29/04/2018 00:54

I would be unhappy about this but won't be talking with parents. It's like north-south divide. Some parents just don't bother after their children turned 12. Some parents are still care what their children watch, read, do, etc.
I don't think that OP's daughter in a few years will be snogging boys and drinking while lightening, not necessarily. Not all teenagers do this.

Puffycat · 29/04/2018 00:55

You can’t do anything about it now.
Your dd sounds lovely cos she checked with you cos she knew you wouldn’t be happy, don’t worry, you have a good girl!
The hosting parents on the other hand are out of order

Crispbutty · 29/04/2018 00:56

I’ve seen kingsman a few times. It really is fine for anyone over the age of about 6 to watch, and it’s actually a really really good film.

I wouldn’t have any issues with a 13yo watching it at all. I also wouldn’t try to censor a 13yo from watching most films as they can easily access them these days anyway.

LovingLola · 29/04/2018 00:57

Try and keep it in perspective. She's not in grave danger. Except perhaps of embarrassment.

So what happens at 1am when they may decide to start watching hardcore porn?

19lottie82 · 29/04/2018 01:00

So what happens at 1am when they may decide to start watching hardcore porn?

Oh FFS Hmm

You could apply this logic to any situation.
Kids watch porn on their smart phones at school!

19lottie82 · 29/04/2018 01:00

The hosting parents on the other hand are out of order

Why?

Graphista · 29/04/2018 01:02

Honestly? If you think a 13 year old has never heard of anal sex unless you homeschool and are very controlling, you're VERY naive.

I'm also not buying that she's absented herself from it. That's either her lie to get you to chill or yours to virtue signal as a pp said.

At that age (30+ years ago) I was watching FAR worse. It's a rite of passage watching "banned" films. She'll be fine.

angryburd · 29/04/2018 01:06

Oh yeh, The Kingsman, that well known gateway drug to hard-core porn 😂😂😊

LovingLola · 29/04/2018 01:16

You could apply this logic to any situation.
Kids watch porn on their smart phones at school!

I know. So when are parents going to wise up to the absolute long term emotional damage they are doing to their children by allowing unfettered access to the internet?

Walkingdeadfangirl · 29/04/2018 01:19

I don’t think objecting to a film that talks about having sex up the asshole is babying anyone

I have seen the film and can confirm there is NO anal sex in it what so ever.

If a 13 yo has to self quarantine themselves at a sleepover because they are terrified about what their parent would say I would be very worried for that child.

19lottie82 · 29/04/2018 01:20

It’s not quite as simple as blanket banning all tech and internet devices though is it?
Kids need to be educated from an early age about using the internet responsibly.

To suggest just because a few 13 year olds are watching a 15 film, that they are going to start watching porn is ridiculous.

I wouldn’t give two hoots if my 13yo watched kingsman with her friends during a sleepover. Neither would I confiscate all their devices that they could (potentially) watch porn on, during a sleep over.

You’re being hysterical.

LovingLola · 29/04/2018 01:24

Kids need to be educated from an early age about using the internet responsibly

They are too young. It's up to the adults in their lives to make sure that they are safe. And a lot of adults have no clue about how to ensure their children's safety. There was a recent post on MN about an 8 year old looking up 'minecraft sex'. The OP involved had 'spoken' to the child and seemed amazed that he would search for minecraft sex again. She was planning to speak to his teacher. FFS!!!

steff13 · 29/04/2018 01:25

If Colin Firth is in it, you can probably be sure it's safe

Except for the scene where he violently murders a church full of people.

Graduate223 · 29/04/2018 01:28

YANBU I’d collect my DD if they were going to watch a 15.

19lottie82 · 29/04/2018 01:29

Lola but they’re not looking up porn, they’re watching Kingsman........... there’s a big difference!

Crispbutty · 29/04/2018 01:30

“YANBU I’d collect my DD if they were going to watch a 15”

And you will end up with a DD who doesn’t tell you things in case you show her up.

Perfectly1mperfect · 29/04/2018 02:01

I think she's probably seen and heard worse if she has access to the Internet, visits friends houses, has a phone and goes to school unfortunately.

However, if the sleepover was at my house I would be keeping an eye on what they were watching and would have checked that all the parents were ok with this just out of courtesy and knowing that parents have different views on these things.

I personally wouldn't say anything as I wouldn't want to embarrass my daughter.

angryburd · 29/04/2018 02:08

I thought it was the unwritten rule of sleepovers that you secretly watched a film or tv show that your parents would never let you see. I remember being about 11 at a sleepover and someone snuck in a video of Interview With The Vampire, and this was back in the distant past of the late 90s so well before the evils of the Internet. And I bet a fair few of you were watching video nasties before that!

scottishdiem · 29/04/2018 02:14

Kingsman? Of all the films to get upset about in the 15 age bracket, that one is pretty mild. The comical heads blowing up in genuine rainbow colours is funny.

It is actually less violent that the Indiana Jones films. Especially the face melting scenes.....

And consensual sex in the asshole can be quite nice. And at 13 I had heard of anal sex - and since I am the wrong side of 40 it wasnt the internet that told me about that...

w12newmum · 29/04/2018 05:56

Watching a 15 at 13 doesn’t seem like a big deal, we all did when we were younger

Izzy24 · 29/04/2018 06:26

If 15 films are ok for 13 year olds, what’s the point of having classifications?

MrsMollyMooMoo · 29/04/2018 06:33

I was watching horror films at that age. I still love horror films. Kingsman is absolutely fine for a 13

adaline · 29/04/2018 06:42

Have you even seen Kingsman, OP?

It's absolutely fine for a 13yo - please don't overreact and go to the girls parents Hmm

BodgingThisMumThing · 29/04/2018 06:47

At 13 she would have heard of plenty worse things than anal sex. I’m actually really surprised you think a 15 film isn’t acceptable, you must home school surely?

How do you feel about the fact your 13 year old is sat on her own in another room whilst all her friends watch a film because she’s scared of what you’ll think?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 29/04/2018 06:50

I can't believe the fuss you and your daughter are making. It really is a good film and whilst there are sexual references it is not a porn film and the violence is not on the level of Saw or Hostel or anything like that. She is 13 not 3!