Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That many people believe they are pro choice but are not

555 replies

winterstail · 28/04/2018 15:32

My understanding of pro choice is that you support a woman's right to terminate a pregnancy.

Many people claim to be pro choice but then express shock at the reason a woman chooses to terminate.

This isn't pro choice then, is it?

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 28/04/2018 17:28

Over 24 weeks, no abortion. If the mother's life is in danger, deliver the baby and hope modern medicine can save it

ODFOD, leave a baby and possibly other children motherless,maybe even orphaned,and have a woman, a human being die because "hope"!?!?!? Really?

Gottokondo · 28/04/2018 17:28

I don't like abortions for other than medical reasons but it is absolutely not my place to decide for someone else. I call myself anti abortion but pro choice.

FleasSitOnPeas · 28/04/2018 17:34

I am pro choice without exceptions. I used to be adamant it is not a choice I would make for myself if I had an unplanned pregnancy. Then I had a child myself (planned) and my first though when I had a late period recently was to research how to get an abortion. I am glad I live in a country where it is an option.

Having had a child has only strengthened my views.

“As early as possible, as late as necessary” sums it up.

TypingoftheDead · 28/04/2018 17:34

I think women should be allowed to choose, no matter the reason. There are so many variables, when it really should only be based on what the mother wants/needs, and what's best for her/the unborn child, not what other people would theoretically do in her shoes.

And fuck all the pro-lifers who encourage women to give birth with empty promises about providing help with childcare, but don't actually do anything of the sort, aside use it as another stick to beat them with.

nokidshere · 28/04/2018 17:35

I am totally pro choice. I do not believe that anyone has the right to stop any woman from having a termination at any time she chooses for whatever reason she chooses regardless of their own views on the subject.

IHaveBrilloHair · 28/04/2018 17:36

I don't understand when people say they support it if the baby is the result of rape.
If the logic is that they are killing a baby then, well duuuuh.

formerbabe · 28/04/2018 17:40

I don't understand when people say they support it if the baby is the result of rape.
If the logic is that they are killing a baby then, well duuuuh

It's pure misogyny. It's nothing to do with the fetus and everything to do with punishing women for willingly having and enjoying sex...the wanton hussies, they deserve all they get is basically the jist of it.

NataliaOsipova · 28/04/2018 17:42

I am pro choice.

I may not agree with someone’s choice to have an abortion. I may make a judgement on her reasons for doing so. But I would believe it was her right to make that choice.

JacquesHammer · 28/04/2018 17:43

I would assert that the majority of pro-lifers aren’t pro LIFE at all. They place no consideration on what the circumstances of a baby’s life, rather they are pro-birth which is morally reprehensible

polkadotpixie · 28/04/2018 17:43

@RebelRogue Yes, really. If the mother's life is in danger due to the pregnancy then delivering it would have the same effect as aborting it

NotTakenUsername · 28/04/2018 17:46

Stop trying to make yourself look all nice and understanding whilst at the same time telling us how pro life you are. You're NOT both.

I’m not. I’m saying I am not pro abortion but I am pro choice.

Why do you think campaigners use the term pro choice and not pro abortion? You absolutely CAN be both.

formerbabe · 28/04/2018 17:46

If the mother's life is in danger due to the pregnancy then delivering it would have the same effect as aborting it

Ok dear....

TotHappy · 28/04/2018 17:47

It's not that how i read it. I think most of the time its just an emotional recoil from the idea of a woman having to carry a part of her rapist within her. But it could be argued that there are some cases when killing is justified, because off the damage not killing would do. So it's not impossible to believe that life begins at conception and still justify abortion post rape

applesisapple5 · 28/04/2018 17:48

In my experience when people say 'I'm pro choice BUT...' what they mean is that it sucks that abortion should have to happen, they wouldn't choose that option for themselves under 'whatever' circumstances, but they recognise that abortion will always exist whether it's legal or not, and if it's not, it's a hell of a lot more dangerous for everyone.

JamPasty · 28/04/2018 17:53

Jeeze @IHaveBrilloHair, that's crap that people ignore what you post! Situations like your's are exactly why late-term abortions can be necessary. I cannot imagine anyone goes through what you went through without extremely good reasons, which is why I don't get it when people say stuff like "medical reasons only after 20 weeks" - who is to determine what is a medical reason? There is either a time point up until which it's ok to abort, or there isn't.

BitchQueen90 · 28/04/2018 17:56

I am pro choice absolutely and I know 100% if I discovered I was pregnant today I would terminate. I do not want any more children and I would not bring one into the world to be unwanted by its mother.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/04/2018 17:58

fcekinghell do you frequently believe that you have autonomy over your child's body, that it's yours to do with as you want?

JAPAB · 28/04/2018 17:58

People can be pro-choice with this simply referring to their legal position - they disagree with it being banned.

They can, without contradiction, find the making of the choice to be immoral.

CrackersDontMatter · 28/04/2018 17:58

I am pro choice. It’s none of my fucking business.

MissClareRemembers · 28/04/2018 17:58

Time and time again I read the words “I’m pro-choice but personally I’d never have an abortion”. That rattles me very, very much and I always wonder of the people making this statement;

a) that blanket assertion that you would never choose abortion is a proclamation that you have never found yourself in a situation where you might consider abortion. So, possibly you have never experienced pregnancy or that your pregnancies have been wanted and trouble free.
b) why do you feel the need to put caveats on your own beliefs? It’s a cop out.
c) in the majority of cases, I’m sure a woman doesn’t take this decision lightly. She doesn’t wake up one morning and think “i know what I’ll do today! Have an abortion!” Then merrily skip off to run the gamut of judgement that may be heaped on her for asserting autonomy over her body. Not to mention the possible after effects of an abortion. The what-ifs.

I have had an abortion, two miscarriages and I have two DCs. I also suffered an infection post-abortion, depression as I struggled to process what I’d been through and because I felt I should be ‘punished’ in some way. I came out the other side of that stronger and with the revelation that I was grieving and that I had the right to grieve.

Despite all that I am pro-choice and I will not stick any hollow caveat on the end of that statement.

JAPAB · 28/04/2018 18:00

Of course, you do get people who are legally pro-choice but self-ID as pro-life, but then they are referring to their moral position not their legal one.

SecretIsland · 28/04/2018 18:00

According to this thread, pro-life means you're against abortion totally and pro-choice must mean you accept a woman's right to choose abortion at any time, for any reason.

It's possible to be in neither 'camp' - i don't ascribe to either view tbh.

specialsubject · 28/04/2018 18:03

no contraception is 100%. ok, lots think withdrawal works but it is possible for those using two forms of real contracetption to get pregnant. as far as i am aware there isnt a queue of willing adoptive parents, certainly not the forced birth brigade who disappear in a puff of smoke as the head emerges.

there are also serious health conditions which dont show up until 20 weeks. not everyone wants to deliver a baby that will die.

so i am also as early as possible, as late as necessary - no buts.

Rachie1973 · 28/04/2018 18:04

Only one good reason for a termination. Because the woman who is pregnant WANTS one. That enough.

For me it was never an option, it wasn't something I wanted to do but I fiercely defend my daughters rights to choose what is best for them at the precise moment in time.

I have a pregnant 16 year old. She's chosen to continue with the pregnancy. I am so glad she was able to have choices though.

NotAgainYoda · 28/04/2018 18:07

Any woman who wants an abortion should have one. No child should be born to parents who did not want it.