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AIBU?

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Original poster

to wonder exactly what a flasher hopes to achieve?!!

51 replies

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/04/2018 17:25

Just had an email from DS school about an "incident" outside the school gates where a man decided to "expose" himself to the school kids on their way home.

Apart from being Angry that things haven't changed since my day, I'm also vaguely .....bemused.

I mean what do flashers hope to achieve? What exactly is the point of getting one's junk out in public and waving it about? Especially when, let's face it, hairy balls and a perky penis aren't exactly pretty at the drunkest of times.

Do flashers expect schoolgirls to run lustily over and scream "take me now" or are they trying to disappoint the poor girls with the flaccidity of things to come?

Just musing, if there are ex / wanna be / current flashers out there, perhaps you could enlighten us?

OP posts:
Stormwhale · 27/04/2018 17:28

They just get off on it. It makes them aroused. It may be due to being sexual towards children, or if aimed at adults it is due to making them see their genitals. The act of doing it is what they enjoy, not that they expect anything to happen because of their action. It is an incredibly violating thing to do, as the person has no choice or ability to consent. The dirty little pricks get off on it.

Stormwhale · 27/04/2018 17:28

Just to clarify I am not a flasher.

The80sweregreat · 27/04/2018 17:30

Its awful, but my mum said it used to happen to her and she was born in 1926! people just get off on it i think. Not sure why and its disgusting, but people are odd. i hope they reported it.

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/04/2018 17:31

Haha Stormwhale - don't worry I got that!

It's just such a weird thing to be excited about.

OP posts:
Fridasfridgefreezer · 27/04/2018 17:31

Something for their spank bank I suppose. Dirty dog.

Kettlepotblack · 27/04/2018 17:33

I know. Weird.

My Aunt said she answered the door to a delivery guy the other day and he had his willy hanging out.

I guess he gets off on women 'seeing' it. Disgusting.

MasterLeonard · 27/04/2018 17:34

Presumably they enjoy making other people uncomfortable or afraid. I was flashed a few weeks ago, and got talking about it to a group of friends –every woman present had been flashed, and all had first been flashed between the ages 9-11. It's incredibly fucking depressing.

Confusedbeetle · 27/04/2018 17:34

We used to make light of flashers but I have to tell you it is serious. They get a sexual kick out of shock and contrary to what we used to believe they do sometimes move on to more serious things, much like dirty phone calls. They have urges and a few wires crossed. I would take it seriously and talk to your children about walking straight away and telling an adult. They do not think it makes them atttractive they are out to shock. I would be telling my children not to be frightened but that it is very wrong for this man to do this and he must be avoided

blackteasplease · 27/04/2018 17:35

A reaction I think

Aprilmightbemynewname · 27/04/2018 17:37

He wants a this face :Shock
A family friend years ago told me if I saw one to say :
"Oh is that all you've got?!"

HollowTalk · 27/04/2018 17:38

I don't understand them either, nor the ones who enjoy being humiliated. Surely the definition of humiliation involves "you won't like it"?!

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/04/2018 17:41

Presumably they enjoy making other people uncomfortable or afraid.

This is what I can't fathom. I couldn't imagine whipping my boobs out and waving them at school boys in an attempt to intimidate them.

every woman present had been flashed, and all had first been flashed between the ages 9-11. It's incredibly fucking depressing.

and I certainly can't imagine a group of men sitting around chatting, working out they'd all been flashed at by crazy women as kids.

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 27/04/2018 17:41

I was flashed a couple of years ago - I was driving by a guy who got it out to show passing motorists!!!

PoorYorick · 27/04/2018 17:44

They get off on being shocking and the non-consensual nature of it. They are just awful.

bertielab · 27/04/2018 17:47

I was flashed at by a man when I was about 13/14 walking through a park with a defensive dog on a lead . He twirled his bits around and said ‘want some of this baby?’ I burst into floods of laughter and cried with laughter. The dog - a grumpy Jack Russell Terrier - hadn’t been seen as it was on an extendable dog lead thing and he was sniffing the bushes. He then lunges for said man snarling and barking. He ran off pretty darn quick.

It’s a control thing threatening? Aiming to terrify and could well end up leading to an assault - I think. In this age and day I’d be trying to get a pic and forwarding to police. Weirdos

PoorYorick · 27/04/2018 17:47

Surely the definition of humiliation involves "you won't like it"?!

No, it's a bit more subtle than that. If you're not into it, it'll be hard to explain. It's really about having your inhibitions stripped away and the key point is that it's consensual. You should not be harmed by it. On the contrary, you should feel quite liberated. Maybe slightly pleasantly shocked at what you're capable of. But you absolutely should not feel destroyed or taken advantage of or unhappy.

Flashers get off on the non consensual and illegal nature of it, the fact that they are shocking people who absolutely did not consent to this. That's what makes them such sick fucks, especially when they do it to kids.

FizzyGreenWater · 27/04/2018 17:49

Yep it's a scenario which inadequates can use to have a form of (what they see as) sexual control.

So they don't care if the flashee is upset, angry, thinks they're losers or pities them and their tiny tackle that clearly nobody wants - it's all the same to them, they just get off on doing it full stop.

Who knows why.

Just another one of the endless ways men seem so eager to go out of their way to show us just how fucking unpleasant a species they can be.

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/04/2018 17:51

I suppose girls need to learn the lesson early that the streets don't belong to them Hmm

OP posts:
Brainfogmcfogface · 27/04/2018 17:53

I was once flashed by a young teenager (around 14/15yo). Honestly my reaction was to laugh as it seemed really pathetic, but thought I’d better call the police, turns out he was wanted for flashing and serious sexual assaults on young girls, completed destroyed the notion of it just being dirty old men getting their kicks.

flippingthroughthepages · 27/04/2018 17:54

Because people get off over the weirdest things.

I personally would hate to be pissed over but clearly golden showers is a thing.

PoorYorick · 27/04/2018 17:54

Sometimes when my husband gets home, he faces me and suddenly opens up his coat like a flasher, although he's got a full suit on underneath. It does make me laugh.

OlennasWimple · 27/04/2018 17:56

Power

soapboxqueen · 27/04/2018 17:57

As pp have said it's about power/control and how the woman/girl who had to witness it, didn't want to. That's what they get off on.

PlausibleSuit · 27/04/2018 17:59

I wonder if it's a power thing. Low-status people - I would imagine 99.9% of them are men - who condition themselves to do this extreme thing in order to shock. Experience a momentary feeling of control, perhaps? (False, of course, but we're not dealing with rational people here.)

They choose younger victims because they're easier to intimidate. Maybe they feel that women/girls have 'all the power' (quote flasher's own) and see the flashing as a way of destabilising that power, even just for a few seconds.

It takes me back (not in a good way). We had one when I was at school. He used to go for the boys especially. Young ones. Highly disturbing man.

pigmcpigface · 27/04/2018 18:01

PoorYorick - that made me laugh.

Is flashing less common now than it used to be? As a kid, I seem to remember reports of incidents fairly regularly, but I haven't heard one in years now.