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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset dd is set on studying nursing when she could do medicine?

254 replies

Majamandy · 27/04/2018 16:35

My dd is very academic - she got straight As/9s in her GCSEs last year (apart from 1 D in Art) and is half way through her A levels taking Maths, Biology, Chemistry and History. Her working grades are AAAA.

She's been doing a lot of medical work experience this year, as she's been set on doing something medical for a long time. She recently told us that she's decided she's going to apply for nursing.

AIBU to think that that's a waste of her academic potential? She'd earn so much more as a doctor.

OP posts:
Claire90ftm · 28/04/2018 13:56

God OP you are a selfish, selfish woman.... I think you're seeing what you want to see when it comes to her "confidence". I hope she doesn't listen to you and what you want, because that's all that matters, right? Just wow....

tierraJ · 28/04/2018 13:59

Btw I'm an ex nurse now working as an HCA as I had serious MH problems- not to do with being a nurse.

I would recommend physiotherapy with those grades - just as good career, less stressful, better pay.

Or I would be an accountant & do voluntary work!!

Lweji · 28/04/2018 14:02

Just make sure she gets into something she loves.

I know someone who pressured his son to medical school and he became depressed because it wasn't what he loved.

It's better if she becomes a happy and good nurse than an unhappy and bad doctor.

hennipenni · 28/04/2018 14:02

OP, please just be thankful she’s in a position to be able to choose which career she wants to do and support her as much as possible.
My DD who is the same age I believe had her career path mapped out. This changed for her when she developed a life changing condition in year 11.

Iggity · 28/04/2018 14:07

My manager (Vice President level) in pharma industry is a nurse. She is heading up a group and probably on around 150k pa. Nurses can do more than work in hospitals. Pharma is a good option for those with medical or nursing degrees and it’s not all about sales. I am in R&D in a strategic role and earn more than NHS doctors so worth a consideration. However I’d be disappointed in your shoes too and know my mother would be; she is a nurse. A bright person will go far if they want regardless of which degree they have. No-one ever asks me what I studied.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 28/04/2018 14:22

Health and social care are academically demanding and emotionally rigorous
Anyone considering health career needs to really familiarise self with the realities & demands. Be able to study and work under pressure

I see it on mn a lot ,folk unrealistic notions of Careers.in particular being a mw comes to mind. Because you love babies and enjoy being pg won’t in any way make you a good candidate to be a mw. Ability to work under pressure, good with people, ability to work in an MDT, ability to understand health data and statistics these are skills of a mw/hcp/doctor

Being a nurse,doctor, hcp requires one to have the aptitude and interest to study and work in the chosen career. Cause it’s gruelling out there...

PinkSkyAtNightAngelDelight · 28/04/2018 14:33

I would recommend physiotherapy with those grades - just as good career, less stressful, better pay.

Physio’s are on the same agenda for change pay scale as nurses and other health professionals. And I imagine the physio’s who work on intensive care probably find their job quite stressful at times. It’s not all elderly rehab or musculoskeletal.

Physio is a good option to look in to though, especially for decision making, autonomy and treatment. Somewhere like ITU would be a challenge.

TatianaLarina · 28/04/2018 14:54

I see it on mn a lot ,folk unrealistic notions of Careers

Really I see a lot of women on here who are qualified doctors, nurses, MWs, scientists, academics, lawyers etc with a very good idea of what the career and qualifications involve.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 28/04/2018 14:56

Yes,really. The I really want to be a mw I love babies posts
And there’s a mixed response of yea go for it and hcp posting about realities

tierraJ · 28/04/2018 15:01

Agree, Lipstick- lots of students with good a levels & no experience are shocked when confronted with the realities of pee, poo, vomit, blood, death, dementia & having to do the mundane (but in my view important) stuff like bed baths etc.

Definitely recommend her getting some HCA experience first!

TatianaLarina · 28/04/2018 15:11

Are you denying what I said is true? That there are a plethora of highly qualified women here giving out good advice. There are doctors and nurses posting on this thread...

Never seen a poster here say ‘I love babies shall I be MW’, sounds more like Netmums.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 28/04/2018 15:11

That’s a v good idea to get HCA exp on hospital bank or care home
Tv and films present a made for screen representation of health care that bears no resemblance to reality

Bramble71 · 28/04/2018 15:16

YABU. I imagine your daughter has taken a great deal of time to think about what career path she'd like to follow but you just seem to be thinking about money and possibly prestige??

There's so much scope in nursing nowadays; she might specialise in a particular aspect of nursing, or train further to become a Nurse Practitioner.

seventh · 28/04/2018 15:17

I think we'll be able to tal her round into applying for medicine

HmmConfused

Unless she wants to do it, really wants to do it, then leave well alone imo

MNscum · 28/04/2018 15:19

I’d agree with Lipstick actually. As a midwife, nurse and lecturer I’d agree with you Tatiana that there’s a lot of highly qualified individuals on MN giving good advice about the realities.

But I’ve also seen quite a few posts (one only 2 or 3 days ago) saying I’ve just had a baby I want to be a midwife what do I need to do to be one.

Storminateapot · 28/04/2018 15:19

I have a mate who is a doctor, one of my dc was seriously considering a career in medicine and she was very clear that he should reconsider because it's horrible training and a thankless job.

Now dentistry - there's money in that still!

TatianaLarina · 28/04/2018 15:27

So in fact you’re agreeing with both of us MNscum.

I’m not saying there aren’t posters on here who are silly, but I’ve never that seen that particularly query and the advice on here is in the main well informed.

inlectorecumbit · 28/04/2018 15:28

This was me many years ago. My physics school teacher told me it was a waste of a good brain.
I have no regrets. I have moved up the nursing grades in Primary care and am paid more than some Dr's (but a lot less than others). I teach junior Dr's in my speciality.
Nursing as my choice of career has worked out just fine.

TatianaLarina · 28/04/2018 15:29

I have a mate who is a doctor, one of my dc was seriously considering a career in medicine and she was very clear that he should reconsider because it's horrible training and a thankless job

I hope your dc got a second opinion because that’s a very negative one. My DH is a surgeon and he loves it. He enjoyed the training and he finds the job very rewarding.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 28/04/2018 15:30

Well you’re now reading that two of us have seen those very I want to be a mw posts

ittakes2 · 28/04/2018 15:38

YABU - a doctor and a nurse have different jobs. My mum wanted to be a nurse and her father said if she was going to study medicine she needed to be a doctor not a nurse. She didn’t want to be a doctor so she ended up not studying anything, got pregnant very young and one of her biggest regrets was not having a career. It’s your daughter’s life - please support her in letting her follow her own dreams, not your’s.

TheFairyCaravan · 28/04/2018 15:42

Our DS2 is just about to graduate as a nurse. He got all As and As at GCSE , and AAB at A level. He wanted to do something medical from a very young age. He toyed with lots of ideas but it was always nursing, in particular A&E nursing, that he came back to.

He’s loved his course. He’s with students who want the same thing as him and that’s to do their very best for people. He’s loved his degree course. He’s worked his arse off but he’s had fun too. Last week he found out he’s got a job in A&E for when he graduates. We couldn’t be more proud of him and are so glad that we allowed him to decide what he wanted to do and to pursue his dream. I couldn’t imagine trying to talk him out of it.

shadypines · 28/04/2018 15:46

As a retired nurse...YABU. You have to have a lot of intelligence to be a good nurse. Doctors, junior or senior, rely on the knowledge, expertise and opinion of nurses all the time.

If she really wants to do it then she'll be happier than choosing a career to match her A* and one with a bigger salary.

MNscum · 28/04/2018 15:54

I’m saying I have seen such a thread more than once, the last one only a couple of days ago. For every well informed poster there’s at least one who doesn’t have a clue and has watched OBEM, etc and wants a job cuddling little babies.

MNscum · 28/04/2018 15:58

I have just had my youngest and vowed to be my last, I’ve decided to put this time until he starts school to good use and thought I could further my learning.

I would love to start my journey towards midwifery but I haven’t a clue where to begin? I’ve been out of education for a while and reading all the different courses online seems to be a foreign language to me! Any advice would be hugely appreciated.

I’m not criticising the above poster, she’s asking a reasonable question and admits herself she hasn’t a clue. In the earlier part of the question she lists her qualifications and she’s nowhere near being able to apply for midwifery.

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