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MNHQ have commented on this thread

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MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

Friend ‘escorting’ for money

212 replies

blinkuncertain · 26/04/2018 19:11

She’s a single parent and does this at nights. It’s a terrible idea and I’m so against it but she keeps saying it’s the only way. What can I do?

OP posts:

Report

UpstartCrow · 27/04/2018 13:08

I don't believe in 2018 Britain that single mothers are forced into prostitution in order to provide food and shelter to their young children. I just don't
In that case you are out of touch with the effect of austerity measures. Women are living with a choice of;

a) prostitution or
b) Having their children taken into care.

because austerity measures mean there is no longer a safety net of benefits.

90 children are being taken into care every day.
www.theguardian.com/society/2017/oct/11/austerity-policy-blamed-record-numbers-children-taken-into-care

''The ADCS president, Alison Michalska, said long delays for universal credit payments, alongside welfare policies such as the two-child limit and housing benefit cuts, were causing difficulties for poorer families struggling to pay for food and rent.''

Wisdens · 27/04/2018 13:09

Feminists do not judge prostitutes: they judge the hideous men who use them

Are the 30% of punters who are female mentioned above also considered as hideous by feminists?

SandyY2K · 27/04/2018 13:10

any dislike of prostitution is always framed as sanctimonious moralising, as if no other point of view other than thinking selling sex is great is valid

OP, the way you spat out the word 'prostitute' makes you sound like a nasty judgemental bitch

I don't think it's judgemental. It's her view.

Spat out across the keyboard? It's prostitution. No need to dress it up any other way.

These threads bring out the sex workers in full defence.
You cannot rationally expect not to be judged as a sex worker.

You may not like it, but that's how it will be for centuries to come. Accept it and of you're happy...carry on.

ohfortuna · 27/04/2018 13:11

30% of punters are female??
I just don't buy it
maybe 3% or 0.3 percent or 0.03 percent...

Furano · 27/04/2018 13:12

I would be super concerned for her if it was my friend both due to risk of physical harm from clients, and psychological harm in the long term.

Hopefully your friend will be as safe as possible. A small number of regular clients seen in a safe place is a totally different ball game to walking the streets.

halfwitpicker · 27/04/2018 13:13

Can your mate actually get another job though? It's so competitive these days.

Wisdens · 27/04/2018 13:19

30% of punters are female??
I just don't buy it
maybe 3% or 0.3 percent or 0.03 percent...

I don’t know the varasity of the figure, it was mentioned above in relation to Germany. However there are very definitely websites for agencies that cater for women in the UK. I’ve just looked at one.

However, let’s go with your figures. Are these 3% of women hideous, vile abusers?

20nil · 27/04/2018 13:24

I'd love to see a reference for the 30% statistic. But in any case, yes, anyone who uses prostitutes is a vile abuser.

SoapOnARoap · 27/04/2018 13:27

I’d read 1 in 5 prostitute users were female. Didn’t realise it was 30%.

I do think you need to be there for your friend OP. She’s made her own life choices, whether you agree or not

WrongOnTheInternet · 27/04/2018 13:29

You don't see men working the streets do you. Maybe there are sites for certain circles of women, but sex work is overwhelmingly sexed.

ohfortuna · 27/04/2018 13:31

there are very definitely websites for agencies that cater for women in the UK
They are scam agencies designed to con men who think that there are actually women who will pay them to have sex with them
Men only make money as sex workers if they are prepared to have sex with men

TheDrinksAreOnMe · 27/04/2018 13:31

Why is it such an issue - like why are you worried?

The only reason I would worry is if you feel she hasnt taken reasonable steps to ensure safety is covered and shes full researched into what she's doing. Has she any support going into this industry?

SandyY2K · 27/04/2018 13:34

Umm, being a slave is a 'job' that's been around since 'time immemorial'. So has being a slave owner.

Comparing slavery to prostitution is insulting.

Slaves were kidnapped. They were tortured. They were not paid. They were given rations of food to survive. They could and would be killed if they tried to escape.

They had their children taken off them and sold into slavery never to be seen again ...and you seriously want to compare that to prostitution.

Wow! Just wow.

ReanimatedSGB · 27/04/2018 13:35

And the Nordic model? Makes life much worse and much more dangerous for sex workers.

Introducing it in Ireland doesn't seem to have done much good, either.

Orlandointhewilderness · 27/04/2018 13:38

Direct her to a forum called SAAFE which has some very good advice and help on it and be her friend.

20nil · 27/04/2018 13:41

No Sandy, I'm just pointing out the idiocy of the argument that because something has been around for a long time, it is inevitable and immune from criticism.

ReanimatedSGB · 27/04/2018 13:43

Obviously, no one should be coerced into sex work when they hate the idea. No one should be coerced into any kind of work that they hate the idea of. I don't know if there are any statistics on people being sanctioned for refusing certain categories of work for ethical/personal reasons (eg a vegan not wanting to work in an abbatoir), but there are certainly plenty of jobs that some individuals would find really, really distasteful and/or unethical (being a bailiff, for example - or maybe working for the DWP with a target set for how many people you can deprive of money per week).

Sex workers are not either desperate, coerced drug addicts or happy hookers having a wonderful time being bought champagne by millionaires. Some have chosen to do the work as it is, for them, the best and most practical solution to their economic circumstances. Just as some people take on jobs that might be dangerous, or dirty, or undignified, but the individual who takes the job feels that this particular job is the best option currently available, and it's therefore bearable. But there is and always has been a huge undercurrent of moralising, bigotry and resentment of female autonomy in any and all movements to restrict or control or suppress sex work.

JoanneMumsnet · 27/04/2018 13:43

Hi everyone,

We've had a few reports about this thread and have checked things out behind the scenes. Unfortunately we can now see that the OP's a previously banned poster so we've banned them (again).

Usually we'd go right ahead and delete the thread (which on the face of it is pretty inflammatory) but we can see there's quite an earnest discussion going on here, so if you'd like us to leave it running to allow the debate to continue, we're able to do that.

JustGettingStarted · 27/04/2018 14:19

Apologies:I thought I knew who Brazenhussy is, but I was mistaken. I know NotTheFordType, though. There are quite a few of us on here. I mostly post about the same things as everyone else.

IveGotNoClothes · 27/04/2018 14:41

To be fair, I had a job once.....all above board, no sex involved. Went to an office everyday, tapped the keyboard a lot, answered a lot of calls. Had a cunt of a boss, clients were wankers. I even considered suicide at one point.

Some sex workers get a much easier break and enjoy what they do!

Yet I had a legit job and hated it, it affected me mentally but I had to do it because I needed the money.

willynillypie · 27/04/2018 15:19

I really don't mean to de-rail anything but having seeing MNHQ's message just wanted to quickly ask what makes them ban a poster? Have seen a few PBP threads and just curious.

AssassinatedBeauty · 27/04/2018 15:44

Presumably sock puppeting on threads they've started with topics that will get a reaction, generally goady posting etc etc.

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Bobs123 · 27/04/2018 16:15

@IvegotNoclothes people get banned if they don't follow talk guidelines. However, whatever the OPs purpose in posting, it has turned into an interesting debate, so has been left up.

Wisdens · 27/04/2018 16:21

They are scam agencies designed to con men who think that there are actually women who will pay them to have sex with them
Men only make money as sex workers if they are prepared to have sex with men

Really? Can you state that with any semblance of accuracy?

Here is an article from 2009 (BBC).

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7914639.stm

There are loads of other articles from a lot of newspaper as well.

Wisdens · 27/04/2018 16:25

Presumably sock puppeting on threads they've started with topics that will get a reaction, generally goady posting etc etc.

This really bugs me. More than one poster having a view that doesn’t align with yours isn’t indicative of sock puppetry or being goady. It’s simply that others don’t hold your view.

It comes across as extremely sulky and petulant.

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