Friend ‘escorting’ for money

[blinkuncertain]

She’s a single parent and does this at nights. It’s a terrible idea and I’m so against it but she keeps saying it’s the only way. What can I do?

[Heyduggeesflipflop]

Prostitution and drugs should both be decriminalised.

To criminalise the former (even indirectly as currently the case) is to impose one version of morality, to criminalise the latter is a rejection of reality

[Mummyoflittledragon]

JustGwttingStarted
Your view of sex work being the same as cleaning is a lot to get my head round. You’re right. I don’t think I’m cut out for it. Too old and ill now anyway. Calling sex workers a “cum dumpster” is vile.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Why is it that people aren't more angry about there being a constant and numerous supply of men who want to pay for sex and don't care if that means they are using women in coercive or desperate or just shitty situations? Men who think that money entitles them to women's bodies.

It's also ok not to be cut out for selling sex, it's not a weakness or a flaw in your character.

Can I ask those here that sell sex, as it's a good job and the pay is great, should we encourage school leaving young women to enter the trade? And, I was wondering why there aren't more men doing this work, and why there isn't the same demand from women for sex?

[Heyduggeesflipflop]

Assassinated

Men and women are wired differently. It is the oldest profession you know.

[Timeforabiscuit]

I hope your friend is ok, you not judging her and being a listening ear is one thing that will help keep her saner and safer - i think the biggest problem is stigma around sex working, its hardly a new line of work!

If people were more honest about it then the secrecy and shame wouldnt be half as damaging.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

"Wired differently" you say, hmm.

Just because men have been paying for sex since the invention of money doesn't make it good, bad or indifferent.

[Timeforabiscuit]

assasinated im not thrilled at the propect of a career with the armed forces either! On the list of professions which chew you up and spit you out that ranks pretty high!

[bonbonlavie]

Honestly I’d try not to judge her.

We all make choices to get us through what we need to get through.

Just be a friend to her and let her know that you’ll be there for her

[Heyduggeesflipflop]

Assassinated

I would argue prostitution pre-dates - by a long way - the invention of money

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Yes, but they won't have been paying for it with money before money was invented. And it's irrelevant how long men have felt entitled to buy sex.

[Heyduggeesflipflop]

Assassinated

I think you are in danger of moralising. You can’t paint the men as predatory and the women as babes in arms, coerced against their will. Life isn’t as simple as that

[AssassinatedBeauty]

That's your interpretation. I will agree that I judge those men who think they are entitled to sex and can buy it with no consideration for whether they are using a woman in a coercive or desperate situation.

[UpstartCrow]

You can when they are literally groomed into it, or forced by poverty, and when the rates of PTSD are higher than for the army.

[anothernewoneforthis]

assassinated it is easier for women to get casual sex I think, that might make a difference. If a woman asked a man "do you fancy a shag" many would say yes. Not so much the other way round.

[ReanimatedSGB]

There are women who prefer sex work as a way of earning money: the hours are flexible and the hourly rate a lot higher than in many other jobs. Quite a lot of women whose work options are limited for some reason or other would pick sex work over something like working in a call centre, or scrubbing toilets, or minimum-wage zero-hours stuff.

Most sex workers want decriminalisation and an end to stigma, rather than to be 'rescued' - the sort of shit that is happening in the US at the moment (FOSTA/SESTA) is putting sex workers in danger as it is becoming harder and harder for them to screen clients.

Be there for your friend. Do not judge. What she is doing is not 'terrible'.

[Wisdens]

Having sex with lots of men = sign of a liberated woman and pats on the back.

Having sex with lots of men and getting paid = repression of woman and moral outrage.

Strange world. Personally, I don’t think women are the constant victims and have seen a way to earn money. Good luck to them.

[UpstartCrow]

If you do it for free its a choice.

If you are poor and have to do it for pay it gives your PTSD.

Stop conflating the two.

[Heyduggeesflipflop]

Upstart crow

Prostitution isn’t the only way people can be exploited

I agree it goes on, but perhaps it would go on less if the stigma surrounding it wasn’t so stark? Don’t you just push it underground and make it harder for those exploited to speak up?

Like drugs, sex work will not go away. That’s how the world is

[UpstartCrow]

Sexual abuse isnt the only way people can be exploited, but its the only one you'll defend.

Its not the way the world works. Its the way male entitlement and privilege work, so why dont we fix that?

[NotAnotherNoughtiesTune]

Wisdens
No if you sleep with lots of men you're called a slut, easy or morally inept.

I

[BonnieF]

Thousands of years of history in a multitude of human societies teach us that there will always be some people who are prepared to sell sexual services, and some who are prepared to buy them.

No amount of sanctimonious moralising or legislation is going to change that basic fact.

Therefore, the best way forward is to minimise harm and exploitation by decriminalisation & regulation.

[Heyduggeesflipflop]

Male entitlement and privilege?

Methinks you know little about either men generally or motivations for buying sex

Perhaps you shouldn’t comment on this thread if you are just going to bandy about such tired cliches...

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Whereas referring to prostitution as the "oldest profession" is a new fresh phrase and not a tired cliche at all...

@BonnieF any dislike of prostitution is always framed as sanctimonious moralising, as if no other point of view other than thinking selling sex is great is valid.

[ohreallyohreallyoh]

I'm sorry, call me naive, but I don't believe in 2018 Britain that single mothers are forced into prostitution in order to provide food and shelter to their young children. I just don't

Then you need to wake up. I am a single parent and I work full time. Under Universal Credit when I am forced to change over, I will be over £2k a year worse off. I get no support from my ex and the Government does sod all to help with that. So, overnight, I will lose nearly £200 a month. You are lucky if you can handle such a drop in income. Not everyone can. The difficulties many people are experiencing are well documented. Listen to people, read the news, understand the bigger picture.

[tooreal]

any dislike of prostitution is always framed as sanctimonious moralising, as if no other point of view other than thinking selling sex is great is valid

^ this. perfectly put!