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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not waited for the green man for the little boy (and Grandma) before crossing the road

157 replies

TwitterQueen1 · 25/04/2018 12:03

Walked into town earlier, waiting on a traffic island to cross the road. Single lane, no cars in sight so I start to cross the road. Grandma says "We're waiting for the little boy to cross the road." gesturing at the pedestrian crossing lights and clearly telling me not to cross but to wait with them. She said it twice - I only realised she was talking to me when she said it more loudly and forcefully. I turned round and said "Jolly good. You wait there then." and walked on.

I don't know how old the boy was - I wasn't paying them any attention. I wasn't close to them - at least 10ft away. There was a Grandma, a mother, a boy, a buggy and I think a Grandad too.

If it was school chucking out time and there was a crowd of children all waiting to cross a road I would have waited. But I'm 58, the boy wouldn't have even seen me. I don't need anyone's permission to cross the road.. WABU?

OP posts:
liz70 · 25/04/2018 13:48

"Any fule knowe that"

Did you accidentally switch to the Mediaeval English keyboard on your phone for a moment, then? Confused Grin

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 25/04/2018 13:49

even more so when she came back and clarified that yes, indeed, she has waited out an entire circle of lights to pander to her child rather than allow them to learn that you don’t always get exactly what you want in life.

Ye gods. Giving pre-schoolers button opportunities isn't pandering.

Do you think one button press too many turns two year olds into Verruca Salt?

BustopherJones · 25/04/2018 13:50

You what @WhatToDo?! Does everything have to be a lesson that you don’t always get what you want?

KeneftYakimoski · 25/04/2018 13:51

Did you accidentally switch to the Mediaeval English

I suspect that Nigel Molesworth, the bard of St Custards, was being invoked. Although it's any fule kno, in that case.

Mia1415 · 25/04/2018 13:51

My DS would have probably told you to wait for the green man. Or commented to me about how naughty you were. He's had grown men apologise and step back to wait to cross before now!

TheRagingGirl · 25/04/2018 13:51

damn right I will sometimes cross on red if they are. I've witnessed someone being accused of being 'un-German' for doing likewise

oooo you are living dangerously! I've been physically held back by another pedestrian when I started to cross (safely) against a red pedestrian light in Germany. Mind you it was very provincial Germany. No-one blinks an eye in Berlin or Düss.

FirstTimeRound984 · 25/04/2018 13:51

yanbu, its not your business what they do - however, I get annoyed when I'm waiting to cross with my DS (3yo) and some random strides past us and crosses - without looking most of the time - as it makes my DS think we can cross too and I have to pull him back. I would never say anything to them though, I just cross at the green man and then stop at the other side, point to the person who crosses before (if we can still see them) and tell him that person was really silly and could have hurt themselves, we were careful and that was the right thing to do.
If i'm lucky and we're quick enough we pass said person and my DS calls them silly - really loudly - it makes me happy.
I always wait though with or without DS as I just don't see the point in that risk and am almost certain I'd be the one that got hit by a car the first time I do it!

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 25/04/2018 13:53

Did you accidentally switch to the Mediaeval English keyboard on your phone for a moment, then?

Cultural reference, used for comic effect: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Any_fule_kno

KeneftYakimoski · 25/04/2018 13:55

point to the person who crosses before (if we can still see them) and tell him that person was really silly and could have hurt themselves, we were careful and that was the right thing to do.

Saying that to your child: perfectly OK.

Saying that loudly so that the other person can hear which was your intent you just didn't have the nerve to address them directly: no OK.

If i'm lucky and we're quick enough we pass said person and my DS calls them silly - really loudly

And then, I presume, you'd get offended if someone told your child to mind their own business?

If you raise your 3 year old to go around calling people silly for crossing roads in ways you disapprove of, in ten years' time your 13 year old is going to get into a fight when they do it to the wrong person.

BustopherJones · 25/04/2018 14:03

I think we can assume that he will have grown out of it by 13. And all the toddlers who have been pandered to by adults indulging their button pressing will have outgrown that without anyone having to turn life into a series of opportunities to learn about disappointment.

dustarr73 · 25/04/2018 14:03

always wait for the green man.Im hard of hearing and i have it drummed in to my kids dont just walk out when the greenman comes on.

I think for smaller kids say bout 3 or 4 people should wait with them for the greenman,it sets an example.

lottiegarbanzo · 25/04/2018 14:08

Darn it, I knew my faux medieval spelling was off there (just in more of a hurry to type, than to cross roads, sometimes) Grin

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 25/04/2018 14:09

And all the toddlers who have been pandered to by adults indulging their button pressing will have outgrown that without anyone having to turn life into a series of opportunities to learn about disappointment.

Now you tell me.

I've just been drawing up an elaborate schedule of orchestrated disappointments for the next two years, to counterbalance the detrimental effects of letting my children take turns to summon the lift.

BustopherJones · 25/04/2018 14:10

Better safe than sorry, @Jamie

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 25/04/2018 14:13

I used to hold them up to post letters in the postbox, too. Blush

They're doomed, aren't they?Sad

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 25/04/2018 14:13

A dad gave me a filthy stare when I pressed the open door button on a train station the other day.

He wanted me to wait for his little darling to press it and by then I would have been halfway across the platform to get to my next train.

Having said that, I hate pressing buttons on trains and traffic lights. Everybody touches them with dirty hands.

SleightOfMind · 25/04/2018 14:14

I once saw a couple with a child in a pushchair lift the pushchair up so their tot could press the traffic light buttons.

I was behind them and saw them do it three times before I changed direction.
Couldn’t even see the tot - just a little imperious hand shooting up every time.
Cheered me right up Grin

SleightOfMind · 25/04/2018 14:19

And I once got a proper dressing down from a lollipop man for crossing the road at the same time as a group of school kids.

His services were not to be used by adults unless accompanied by a child, apparently.

It’s a minefield.

MrsPMT · 25/04/2018 14:21

lottie I'd be telling them that the more the button is pressed the quicker it the traffic will stop (its what I tell myself anyway Grin)

OP YWNBU, its entirely up to adults when to cross the road themselves.

BeyondThePage · 25/04/2018 14:21

mine don't care about the button so much any more - I told them about the secret spinner... big, BIG parenting kudos for telling them that!!

Underneath there is a cone shaped spinner for blind/partially sighted people - so they know the lights have changed.

ShatnersBassoon · 25/04/2018 14:22

I do try to be mindful if there's a parent standing at a crossing saying 'Wait for the green man' etc and I won't stride on out. I don't want to undermine their instructions, because they are pretty important as part of a bigger road safety understanding. I sometimes keep exaggeratedly checking left and right as I cross along with them too Blush. I think it's considerate, but I am one of life's unrepentant minor do-gooders.

schnubbins · 25/04/2018 14:23

Another instalment in crossing the road in Germany.
A few years back I was driving through our neighbourhood on my way home.A guy on a bike approaches to my left , following the "rechts vor links ' rule or the right before left rule which is in place here i would have had right of way.Anyhow it was cold and this guy had is head down so I presumed he had not seen me and as very often on this corner and at this time all the kids are on their scooters (unaccompanied) I was driving slowly and gestured to him to keep going.He would not budge and started yelling at me about being an idiot not following the rules of the road.I explained to him that I had just stopped because often the kids just whizz across without looking .His answer to that was it was because of idiots like me the kids could not learn the rules of the road properly
I asked him if I should also just keep going if his child crossed the road without looking and he answered "wenns sein muss , ja" or if "it must be then yes" So I should obey the rules rather than protect life. Still flabbergasted by it.

BustopherJones · 25/04/2018 14:24

I love that lollipop man, @Sleight - how dare you get some free safety!

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/04/2018 14:24

WickedGoodeDog
Yes, it is a sport. I was driving down the road through my village and I missed the no entry sign at the side of the road to indicate roadworks. There was nothing visible btw and I wasn’t used to roadworks being like this. I went round the corner and it was upon me with no way of turning unless I reversed and did a 5 point turn. With nothing coming in the other direction, I just drove the few meters through it (which I considered less dangerous as there were a lot of pedestrians out and it was a narrow part of the road with narrow pavements). Well, idk how many people shouted and gesticulated at me but I’d say it was at least 4.

In England, no one would bat an eyelid.

2rebecca · 25/04/2018 14:25

I just push buttons if I want to cross the road/ open the doors. If alone I don't bother with buttons if the road is quiet. I won't rush to press it if a child is obviously rushing to do it but I don't look around for children before pushing it. I'm usually thinking about where I'm going/ other stuff not how exciting pushing the button is.