To have not waited for the green man for the little boy (and Grandma) before crossing the road

[TwitterQueen1]

Walked into town earlier, waiting on a traffic island to cross the road. Single lane, no cars in sight so I start to cross the road. Grandma says "We're waiting for the little boy to cross the road." gesturing at the pedestrian crossing lights and clearly telling me not to cross but to wait with them. She said it twice - I only realised she was talking to me when she said it more loudly and forcefully. I turned round and said "Jolly good. You wait there then." and walked on.

I don't know how old the boy was - I wasn't paying them any attention. I wasn't close to them - at least 10ft away. There was a Grandma, a mother, a boy, a buggy and I think a Grandad too.

If it was school chucking out time and there was a crowd of children all waiting to cross a road I would have waited. But I'm 58, the boy wouldn't have even seen me. I don't need anyone's permission to cross the road.. WABU?

Christ alive. The children I nanny for love pressing the button but luckily for all of us they can deal with it perfectly well if someone else gets to it first. that's life and all.

It's not sensible to teach that we ALWAYS militantly rely on the green man. Cars jump lights. We cross when we've all judged it to be safe.

yes jaywalking is a thing in most of mainland Europe as well.

in fact it is only the UK where people ignore the pedestrian lights.

What is much more annoying IMO is adults pushing pedestrian crossing buttons, without a thought, when there is a small child approaching

Are you serious? Really?

YWNBU. Love your response.

Learning to watch for traffic, not just a green man, is important for kids (I saw some tosser drive straight through a crossing at speed last month when the traffic lights were red and the little man was green).

Learning that it's not necessarily safe to cross just because somebody else does is also important for kids.

And learning not to treat adults like toddlers is important for that granny!

Good grief. Someone waiting a traffic light cycle to make sure their child has an opportunity to press a button isn't a big deal. It's not presaging the (second/third) Fall of the Roman Empire.

Youd think Lottie had admitted to giving her daughter diamond-encrusted Kinder eggs as an afternoon snack.

I think it's against the law to cross at a red light even if there's no traffic in Holland or Germany I'm not sure which. (or it could be both)

I always wait if there’s a kid there and always have, long before having kids myself. I try not to do potentially dangerous things in front of kids whenever possible, obviously!

Oh dear, I've made the unforgivable internet mistake of imagining that the lighthearted tone of my first post would carry into my second one, without needing to be re-stated. Bad, bad me.

No, I expect nothing of other adults. Internally though, there is a small voice that beseeches them, 'please notice there's a 2 to 3 yo approaching right behind you and don't press...' Never works, no.

Any fule knowe that, once the 'wait' light is activated, there is no satisfaction to be gained by pressing the button. Be that at a crossing, for a lift, or pressing the bell on a bus.

Any 2-3yo knows that it is just too disappointing if an adult, just ahead of you, has pushed the button. Whereas, if other children there at the same time, a discussion about nice sharing is justified.

Would I miss a stop on the bus because we didn't press first? No. But have a I waited out a cycle of lights, so dd, when aged 2-3, could press and gain the satisfaction of stopping the traffic (at the kind of stop where the lights only change if a pedestrian presses)? Hell yes.

There are moments for discussions about sharing, needing to be somewhere on time and life just not being fair. There are also moments when indulging something fun, or because the upset isn't worth it, is totally fine IMO.

I'm glad FloydOnThePull gets it!

Was I in a lift with you once, Lottie and you were the mum who spent ages trying to get her baby to press the lift button? I didn't want to spoil your fun, honest, but I ran out of patience. I don't think I deserved the bad lady comments to be fair.

I try to wait if I see parents with a young child who are clearly waiting properly but no way would I be told to do so by a busybody. Good response, OP!

But in free countries like Gt Britain and France it's fine!!! There's no guarantee the traffic will stop at red anyway. I tell my ds that you have to make sure the car approaching is not being driven by a drunk or drugged or partially sighted person, or a criminal rushing from a bank job ( or all four )

Yanbu, no one can tell you when or how to cross a road as an adult but I tend to wait if there are children anyway. I don't think it would have killed you to join in this once would it?

Learning that it's not necessarily safe to cross just because somebody else does is also important for kids.

Absolutely! I am teaching DS to use his judgement when crossing roads and not to rely on the green man, or what anyone else might be doing.
The thing that really winds me up is when drivers wave at us to cross the road. It's happened a few times where a driver has paused to let us cross, waved us to go but not seen that there is a car coming from another direction so it's not actually safe. I'm trying to drill it into DS that he doesn't have to cross the road just because an adult tells him to, if he's unsure he's to stay on the pavement until he is CERTAIN that it's safe to get all the way over the road. And that's fine if he ignores an adult and appears rude...better to be rude than squashed!

By the time children are old enough to be learning how to cross the road, I mean properly because they’re about to do it themselves in a year or two, they’re old enough to understand that grownups can judge traffic better and don’t always need the green man.

YABU. You should've held the grandma's hand and waited nicely until she said you could cross

God no SevenStones internal monologue only! And no inconveniencing other people either (see my comment at the top of the thread).

Worse still when you absent mindedly press it yourself.. and feel the wrath Oh yes. So true.

Great response OP. YANBU.
Not sure why Lottie is getting such a hard time. I think it was fairly clear her comment was slightly tongue in cheek, and I totally get where she is coming from. I've had it in lifts, where my children have been busily negotiating whose turn it is to press the button, and then when the lift arrives, an adult who's been waiting with us goes in and pushes it themselves. Of course I don't say anything, but it does seem a little... unnecessary.

I think this is probably the 1st time in my life that I have managed to respond immediately, appropriately, politely, assertively and pithily!

Usually I think of a good response several hours too late....

ROFL at your comment SevenStones

Leslie

The thing that really winds me up is when drivers wave at us to cross the road. It's happened a few times where a driver has paused to let us cross, waved us to go but not seen that there is a car coming from another direction so it's not actually safe

And there's usually a big gap behind them anyway, so they're just doing it for the virtuous feeling rather than genuine helpfulness. So annoying when you're trying to teach a child how to cross safely!

One time a car stopped just after it turned into the junction, waved to ds and I to go over - and the car behind wasn't waiting, and pulled out onto the other side of the road to get past. If I hadn't grabbed ds by his coat hood he'd been in the path of the second car. I was LIVID.

I think it's against the law to cross at a red light even if there's no traffic in Holland or Germany

Authoritarian countries with a very poor history on respect for individual liberty.

Floyd

That was very funny

The thing that really winds me up is when drivers wave at us to cross the road. It's happened a few times where a driver has paused to let us cross, waved us to go but not seen that there is a car coming from another direction so it's not actually safe

Oh yes. Had a man get visibly impatient at me for not taking him up on his wave once.

The other lane was running full pelt with absolutely no gap in the traffic. What was I supposed to do? Cross on his lane and then stand on the white dividing lines, waiting for a gap on that side?

You were clearly not in London where traffic crawls along at an average of 5 miles an hour and no-one waits for the green man.