AIBU to ask your ‘food rules’ for your DC?

[firstworldproblems2018]

Not a TAAT, but the sleepover one did get me thinking. Do you have any ‘rules’ for food/eating in your house? Are your kids allowed snacks whenever they want for example? Do you have any specific rules around food?

Genuinely curious. I’m aware of the way these type of threads sometimes always go though....

For us, (DC 9 and 5) the only rules are only 1 snack between after school and dinner as otherwise they don’t eat properly at dinner. I’ve started making dinner earlier and this means they eat better. After their main course at dinner they always Have a ‘fruit course’ ie fresh fruit of some kind. They may or may not have pudding after that, but always fruit after their evening meal.

Otherwise I’d say we were fairly relaxed. Both kids healthy weight and very very active. Little one doesn’t really have free access to food but I offer him choices for breakfast and snacks, and he has a treat box where all party bag sweets/choc/Easter/Christmas chocolate etc goes and he can have something from that most days after dinner (and fruit!!) but doesn’t always.

DD has a bit more free rein and is allowed to get snacks herself in the evening when I put her brother to bed but she’s pretty good at self regulating.

we don't eat off the floor or anything

DS2 loves to cite the ‘5 second rule’.

Note: it’s not my rule. He just loves to go on about it if he drops something and still wants to eat it.

He watched a tv programme about it and apparently you can leave biscuits on the floor for much longer than that with no ill effects. He loves to repeat this bit of information.

I couldn’t imagine getting worked up about someone giving DS a biscuit at pick up time, and fail to understand how that would impact on him having a bit of cake later?

Seems a bit OTT to me for a healthy, average weight child.

Basin- I understand what you’re saying. I didn’t explain it very well, sorry. I turn up to school with a healthy snack, or they wait til they get home (it’s not far). Kids were (like I said, not so much now) constantly being offered stuff. Biscuits was just one example but (no joke) once DS (remember he is FIVE) was offered a full size Danish pastry and another time a parent offered him a biscuit in the playground before school . For me it’s just unnecessary and my kids for a long time asked why I didn’t bring biscuits and stuff for snacks.

I also see after school when they’re starving as the perfect time to give a healthier snack as they’re hungry and want to eat. Today my DD did have a relatively unhealthy snack after school so I’m not militant about it and compared to many on this thread I think I’m relatively laid back. But I (personally) don’t think biscuits should be the every day snack of choice straight after school, and it (mildly) annoyed me my kids were constantly being offered stuff.

Not many rules, but I insist on:

-no food outside the kitchen or dining room
-no meal has to be eaten completely except for all of their protein at breakfast
-meals are eaten at the table with cutlery and napkins
-only water with most meals except for milk at breakfast
-no devices at mealtime
-although they do not have to finish their plates, they must at least try what is prepared for the meal and eat the veg.

I have no snack rules and have a wide variety of snacks available (crisps, breadsticks, fruit, cheese, nuts, yoghurt, and baked goods and ice cream in the freezer).

Luckily, both children have turned out to be unfunny eaters who eat a wide variety of foods and cuisines. Both are thin, but one has a sweeter palate preference than the other.

Unfussy, not unfunny

DS4 has always been really fussy and not massively enjoyed eating since weaning, so I've tried to be relaxed to cope! I do let him choose (from options) what he eats for most meals. I don't insist on cutlery yet but he is gradually using it more... It's one step at a time and just eating the same balanced meal as a family at the table without fuss is a triumph!

No rules set in stone but:

• veg and/or fruit with every meal. But not really a problem as his favourite bit!
• the meat/ protein has to be eaten for main meals if he agreed to have it on his plate
• once meat and veg has been eaten we can negotiate how much carb is reasonable for him to eat. (unless it's pasta then he eats it without a fuss!)
• has to sit properly at the dining table for meals (unless it's pizza at the weekend, then we can sit in the lounge )
• one snack mid morning. One snack mid afternoon. Unless has been swimming or particularly active.
• no helping himself to food from the cupboard
• no screens at the table. But music is fine (stops him getting bored and distracted from eating!)
• he has to ask to get down from the table

No rules here.... I mean I hope Im raising them to be kind and considerate and have reasonable table manners but I wouldn't call that having rules as such.

We sometimess eat a curry together off our laps whilst watching a film.... And they drink what they like......squash or water or even fizzy stuff if I've bought it. Other times we sit at the table and chat. Sometimes we might have a day where we eat doughnuts as an afternoon snack followed by pizza for dinner. Other times its melon and a salad..... It all evens out in the end.

I don't have the head space to monitor the snacks my teenager eats..... And I trust him not to gorge on a packet of biscuits straight before dinner because it would be rude rather than some arbitrary rule I have about snacking. Similarly if we are all sat at the table no-one would have their phone out..... But if teenager is sat eating cereal first thing whilst looking at YouTube I wouldn't be bothered.

(none of us are overweight and all have our own teeth despite my lax attitude)

Basically just one: nobody has to eat anything they don't want to, but there's no alternate option for dinner

I'm a sugar addict and I'm trying to avoid the same for DC so:

• Drinks are water, fizzy water, tonic, fruit tea. We get juice a couple of times a week, max 1 glass per day
• Food is always unsweetened, eg. full fat greek yoghurt
• Sweets, biscuits, cakes etc. are treats for weekends and only very rarely have them midweek

We try to make food a bit fun. DS can choose a weekend meal from any cookbook, or request something and I'll gladly cook it with his totally unhelpful assistance.

I completely agree with the poster who said “ no calling food disgusting”. I hate that and children making vomit noises about food. Just no!
Beyond that, it’s try everything, and everything in moderation in our house. ( Appart from me obviously. I’m allowed to stuff crisps down my neck like they’re about to be made illegal).

No strict rules here just dinner is at the table luckily my ds1 whose 8 is not fussy so everything is usually gone. We have never done puddings so should he want a snack later he can but usually isn’t bothered and if he does I’m not worried about too many treats. Fizzy drinks are for meals out/ special occasions. If he has friends round though it’s usually a pizza that they make themselves which they love making and then far too much chocolate

Kids are 7, 10 and 11. We are pretty lax, especially on the sugar front judging by how strict other people are (though the 11 year old has no fillings) But our rules are:

Every meal including breakfast and packed lunches must include some kind of fruit or vegetable, which they can choose within reason but which must be eaten.
Clear your plate, we don't waste food. This applies only to food I know they like in a small portion size I know they can manage. If there is something new they must at least try it.
Everyone is allowed things they don't like but you can only move things from the (imaginary) list of things you do like to the things you don't like list if you move something the other way. Eg if you decide you don't like peas anymore you will need to start eating broccoli. Generally this results in a fairly static list of stuff they won't eat.
No snacks while I'm cooking dinner, otherwise they can help themselves within reason.
No screens at the table
No bickering or whinging at the table (OK this is more of a wish than a rule)
Be polite when at someone else's house and they offer you things you don't like.
Say please and thank you for your food.

I can't get worked up about table manners, though I do tell them off for not using cutlery.

We had no rules about how and when to eat what we bought, but we never kept much processed snack stuff in the house, and proper junk food (coke, donuts, takeaways, crisps etc.) was a once a week + special occasion thing.

If they wanted something more than fruit/nuts/veggies with dip/yoghurt etc. outside of mealtimes they had to say, make a smoothie or a sandwich, which is easy enough, but which they wouldn’t bother with if they were just bored and eating for the sake of eating.

Their all adults now and they have healthy diets.

I feel so sorry for those kids whos mum won't allow them to talk at the table.Isn't that what eating together at the table is all about-family time and a chance to chat,laugh,air grievances and of course squabble?