AIBU to ask your ‘food rules’ for your DC?

[firstworldproblems2018]

Not a TAAT, but the sleepover one did get me thinking. Do you have any ‘rules’ for food/eating in your house? Are your kids allowed snacks whenever they want for example? Do you have any specific rules around food?

Genuinely curious. I’m aware of the way these type of threads sometimes always go though....

For us, (DC 9 and 5) the only rules are only 1 snack between after school and dinner as otherwise they don’t eat properly at dinner. I’ve started making dinner earlier and this means they eat better. After their main course at dinner they always Have a ‘fruit course’ ie fresh fruit of some kind. They may or may not have pudding after that, but always fruit after their evening meal.

Otherwise I’d say we were fairly relaxed. Both kids healthy weight and very very active. Little one doesn’t really have free access to food but I offer him choices for breakfast and snacks, and he has a treat box where all party bag sweets/choc/Easter/Christmas chocolate etc goes and he can have something from that most days after dinner (and fruit!!) but doesn’t always.

DD has a bit more free rein and is allowed to get snacks herself in the evening when I put her brother to bed but she’s pretty good at self regulating.

The only rule I have is not eating 30 minutes before a meal is served (even then it might not be enforced too rigidly if I know they've not eaten much due to being out for the day).

They're free to get fruit and veg when they want, other snacks I police a little more but still quite laid back.

They'll both attempt new food and neither really turn their noses up at anything although they do have preferences. We've never really done the whole kids food thing though, not saying that we wouldn't have say chicken goujons but we would all have it. The only exception is steak, DS6 can take or leave it, DD3 loves it sometimes. I tend to offer chicken alongside it for them.

One weak squash a day.

At mealtimes, they have to try everything and eat a substantial amount overall to get a pudding. If they don't, there's nothing until the next meal.

They don't get snacks on demand, but fairly frequently.

Enjoy! Especially with family and friends!

Eat at the table with no screen.
Mid morning snack must be a fruit or vegetable.
Must have at least one vegetable with dinner (ds1 has become really fussywkth veg so this rule was introduced for him).
No helping yourself to snacks.

No, we don't really have rules for the boys (almost 6&4). Tbh i'm just relieved they eat anything.

No one really eats fruit or veg. No one eats pudding. No one likes to eat anything. They can help themselves to food - but they never do. They can drink what they like - but hardly drink at all, only a few sips of water with dinner. Dinner is a rotation of the same 3 things. Plain breaded fish. Sausage sandwich. Pitza (pitta bread with tom puree, grilled cheese and salami on). They don't have to sit at the table and eat if they aren't hungry. Every Sunday i do a roast and they have to sit with us but don't have to eat anything they don't want but wont get anything else. (ds1 eats some dry meat and ds2 will eat some spuds and that's usually it).

Everyone has to take their vitamins and laxatives.

I don’t really have any except manners based ones. So it’s fine not to eat all of your dinner but not fine to shout yuck and/or dump it off the plate.

DS has natural yoghurt and fruit after dinner on most days, he can have this regardless of how much dinner he’s eaten.

Thing is he eats basically everything though so I can afford to be really relaxed. I’m sure it’s harder to be laid back about finishing your peas if they never eat veg.

3 meals a day and fruit or raw veg if a meal is late. Muffins or chocolate or crisps are occasional things. I make cakes about once a fortnight.

On a friday I might buy some crisps/chocolate. That's it. Mine can help themselves to fruit or veg oh and there are always unsalted nuts, olive, cheese and crackers

Mine have to ask for a snack and I will offer them something based on the proximity to the next meal time (usually fruit, breadsticks, cheese, etc).
Have to at least try the food on their plates.
Usually fruit based puddings (banana sponge and custard, plain fruit).
I’m pretty laid back. We all eat pretty healthily so hopefully they are picking up good habits from me!

We always sit at the table to eat. Knife and fork to be used in the correct hand. Always try what's on offer. I don't make different meals for each of us.
I ask the children what they would like for me to order for the online food shop. We have everything in moderation. On the whole we are very healthy. I try and buy the best quality ingredients. We are all a healthy weight and the dc aren't fussy eaters.

Hmmm, I don't know if we have rules really.

Only eat if you are hungry / stop when you're full up / you don't have to eat anything

Stealing / sneaking food is frowned upon - if you want something just ask (and be prepared for me to say no!)

I want them to enjoy mealtimes and for it to be a relaxed experience. Having said this they are both quite fussy and have a limited range of meals they enjoy... Their diet is fairly balanced but a bit repetitive - I'm hoping they will broaden their horizons eventually without pressure!

I used to be on the firmer side of expections. But autistic Ds has severe food aversions so basically now it’s a case of if you want to eat it then fantastic

No pecan nuts for either of them as one is allergic. All elements of a meal must be tried at the very least. All food must be eaten at the table.

Eat at the table.

No screens. Books/colouring while you wait if eating outside the house.

Use a knife and fork.

Push in, pull in, lean in to stop food dropping on the floor.

Only take what you think you will eat from the middle. You can always have more. There will always be one part of the meal you like.

If you are not hungry or full, ask to get down from the table with manners. There is no other food option though until the next meal.

No rudeness about food. 'Disgusting, etc.'

Take your cutlery, plate, cup, etc. into the kitchen when finished. Push your chair in.

Cordial on a Sunday only. Fruit juice only for breakfast. Water only between meals for tooth health.

Check with me before eating outside of the house (DD1 has a nut allergy and DD2 has 10 food allergies).

Sweets/dried fruit with a meal not alone for tooth health.

Only water in bottles for tooth health. All other drinks in open cups.

Lots. More than I realised.

I don’t think we really have any rules....... DC are 8 and 9, neither will just help themselves to food so always ask and if it’s close to mealtime I’ll say maybe wait as dinner is nearly ready and they just say ok and that’s that. I don’t think we’ve ever said they need to ask though.

Neither of mine are particularly fussed by food though, especially DS2. They’d far rather be playing and seem to view food as functional and not that exciting! Both active and healthy weights

This place is a different planet sometimes 😂

Whining and complaining is not allowed. Kids need to eat most of what they are given. Pudding is always fruit. If they've eaten plenty of heir veg in that meal they can have a biscuit or yoghurt or something as well. I try to emphasise the need for a balance.

They are not that fussy although they can sometimes feel like they don't like something because it wasn't what they fancied. If they make a really big fuss they get down and dinner is over.

No one is forced to eat anything that they don’t want to, no power games with using food as reward/punishment. We rarely have puddings and always eat at the table. That’s about it really.

Sit down to eat, since he was old enough to walk DS has signalled that he wanted a snack by going into the kitchen and sitting down in front of the worktop with the toaster on! It’s a bit like having a puppy!
All meals at the table. No food in the bedrooms.
For meals we follow the approach of we choose what is offered and when, he chooses how much of it to eat. He’s offered fruit after every meal regardless of how much he has eaten so it’s not a punishment or reward it’s just a thing that happens. Sometimes he eats very little, has a satsuma then goes back to his main course.

We don’t do alternative meals, if he doesn’t eat, we assume he isn’t hungry. If he seems upset having not eaten or is campaigning for more fruit after the first piece we’ll offer plain toast so he doesn’t go to bed hungry. He’s not speaking yet so the issue of alternatives will probably evolve as we can understand better if he isn’t hungry or doesn’t like something.
He gets plain biscuits and baby cereal bars included in his snacks but not sweets, chocolate, cakes etc at the moment - except for very rare treats like a little chocolate at Easter. I don’t think sugar is evil, I just don’t want to give him a sweet tooth. As he gets older and comes across it more we won’t ban it but will probably that kind of snack.
He has no idea that drinks other that milk or water exist yet!

My main rule is don't come begging for food whilst I'm cooking tea! Does my head in.
My younger SS is always doing this (he's 10) has lunch late, say 2pm, because he doesn't get up before 12pm. Usually beans on toast or something to that effect(whatever he can make himself), will have 1 snack about 4pm then at 5pm when I start making tea 'Can i have something to eat i'm starving!' I always say no wait for tea (a hour max.) then never finishes his tea despite being 'starving'.
Another one is if you not up/around when I'm making breakfast/lunch for me and DS then you can make your own - the number of times I'd finally sit down with a brew in the front room to be asked for food by the lazy gits after they've just seen me making stuff for DS. It's like they purposely wait for me to finish cleaning up and start relaxing! When asked why they didn't ask me 10 minutes ago when I was in the kitchen 'wasn't hungry then' makes me fume!

Another rule is don't eat chocolate/sweets in front of 3yo DS as he will scream bloody murder to get one for himself!

Never had too many rules about food.

My kids are now teens, they can help themselves to anything, including chocolate bars and crisps (if it's there).

I find that "no rules" means they learn to self regulate.

Yours are a bit younger though, think I had less snack food in the house then. But with teens, we decided it is up to them

My dc are only quite young (2 and 4)so not too many rules I don't think.
-eat at the table.
-no toys at the table.
-use cutlery properly.
-don't talk with your mouth full.
-help with laying the table and clearing it.

They are encouraged to try new things but it's not a rule as such. I decide if there's pudding and if there is they don't usually know about it before the meal, they don't have to eat everything to get pudding once i've decided there is one. They absolutely don't have to clear their plates, just eat until they've had enough. My 2 year old is a bit fussy but I put that down to her age. On the whole I think they eat quite well and are both a healthy weight.

Some of my friends have some utterly bonkers rules around food!

No toys at the table
Drink water or milk with meals,
Have to try everything on the plate,
Pudding is usually fruit or yogurt unless at grandparents who do proper puddings.
I cook one option for dinner only, if you refuse to eat your dinner you get nothing until the next meal (Excluding a piece of fruit).

DD is 10. we don't have sweets or biscuits in the house, but will buy chocolate bar or ice cream, crisps after school from time to time - maybe once a week. We also don't have pudding. DD can help herself to fruit, but I often prepare humous and carrot sticks, pitta , fruit snack plate when she gets home from school. We have a big bag of corn chips each week and she has a handful in a tupperware container in her lunch. I want her to think she has junk like her friends, but only give her a token amount. We eat healthily at home and I want her to have a good relationship with food. She can have free access to good non processed food, with the occasional foray into processed so she doesn't feel she is missing out. I guess as a rule, she has to eat most of her veg at dinner. She likes them though so it's not much of a struggle.

No rules

They regulate when the feel full, they can leave anything. Puddings are not linked to meal time. As a result they eat a balanced healthy diet with treats not linked to mealtime so no bribery.