Wibu to buy this dress even if I know it won't fit me (yet!)?

[sharkirasharkira]

Dp and I have finally decided on a wedding date so I'm now looking at wedding dresses!

I've found one that I absolutely love, it is my dream dress. Has all the elements I want and is just generally bloody stunning. It may sound silly but also the dress' 'name' just happens to be that of a very close family member who passed away last year and it feels like a nice way of including her in our day.

The only problem is..its an 'old' dress from 2016 that has now been discontinued so they are not making them anymore. Its unlikely I'm going to be able to go to a bridal shop and try it on to see if it fits my shape and is flattering.

I have found one online, in the UK (quite difficult, most of the ones I've seen online are from America or Australia, which adds £££'s in shipping fees), and its within my price range!!

But its a size 8 and I'm a size 16

I do want to lose weight (I am trying) and I have over 2 years before the big day but if I don't lose the weight or its unflattering on me then I've just wasted a few hundred pounds that I can't really afford.

Wibu to buy it anyway, given that its a £1700 dress new and is on sale for a fraction of that and just hope that I eventually fit into it? Or would it be a silly waste of money?

Fingers crossed for a happy ending 🤞

Bear in mind wedding dresses can be small too. So likely nearer a 6

You would be crazy to do that OP.

Firstly, you say the sweetheart neck suits you best etc. - well it might now, but if you did manage to lose the weight it may not when you are half the size and have a completely different body.

Secondly, as PPs have said - a bridal 8 is more like a 6 or a 4.

Thirdly, it’s a perfectly nice dress, but there are dresses exactly like that in almost every high street bridal shop in the country.

I think it would depend on the style of the dress. I was a 14 at my wedding but my dress was a size 26!!

Have a look at Dame by Watters - it’s got almost identical lace, and a sweetheart.

And just to say - I did it. I went from a 14/16 to a 6 for a dress. (Antique, one of a kind). It was the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. Was it worth 18 months of misery and being so thin I looked like a total stranger on my wedding day? Absolutely not!

I was going to say, check with Wed2Be - I fell in love with a discontinued Maggie Sottoro dress (not the same one though) that they'd stopped making about 3 years previously. I gave up on trying to find it and went to my nearest Wed2Be to find a different dress. By pure chance, the shop happened to have one in stock - in my size, and discounted due to being old stock! Always worth a chance!

I'm surprised everyone saying it would be too tricky to drop down from a 16 to an 8 in the space of 2 full years.
Let's say OP is currently 13 stone and needs to drop to 8 stone to be size 8.
5 stone loss is 70lbs. So that's a year and a bit assuming she loses a pound a week which is say 500 calories a day deficit.
Surely that's do-able.

I hope fairy godmother Cantana’s source works out. I agree with others that buying an 8 would be madness.

I also wonder whether you’ve tried on (something close to) your dream dress. They can feel/look differently in real life. I was wrong about what might suit me.

It is crazy
I’m a 10 trying to get to an 8 is bloody hard due to my larger frame and to be honest I’ve never been at 8. The closer you get to ideal weight it is difficult especially if you are not starving yourself and using weight training to help.

Haven’t read the whole thread, sorry if I’m repeating anyone. Maybe show the pic to a dressmaker and get one that will fit? It is a gorgeous dress.

User it is tricky because it depends on your frame and build. The closer you get to smaller sizes the harder it becomes. I’m 5’8 and trying to go from 10 to 8 so no for sure.

Cantana

How much is the one you have found? Is it in the op's budget?

userof I'm a size 12/14 on my bottom half. It wouldn't matter how much weight I lost I would never get smaller than a 12 because hips.

PS yay Cantana, fingers crossed for you OP.

Bridal sizes are wild i was a size 12 when i brought my dress in one of them i tried on she put me in a 20! I know you love it but dont risk it speak to a dress maker

No, even if you did manage to lose weight. You would need to try the dress on to see if it suits you. There are so many dresses out there, you could easily find something similar

I'll wait until @sharkirasharkira has spoken to the bridal shop to reveal my methods but I just knew where to look (and got a bit lucky too!). And I've sent you a message with some things to check!

I know lots of people have suggested getting a dressmaker to copy it. For anyone thinking of doing this them selves I would just caution against it. Without having an actual dress to deconstruct it would be very hard to get the fit accurate. Then there is sourcing the exact lace and making sure the boning is in the right place. I've known a few brides who have taken this route and been disappointed. Where a style is discontinued I can understand why a bride may want to take this route but a more straightforward way may be to find a dress in a similar style at a shop with a highly rated onsite seamstress and get it altered. Where it is not discontinued as I've said before to try and copy a dress would be out and out copyright infringement.

I know there is a school of thought (and I've seen it on mumsnet) that bridal shops are a con. But honestly for me I love what I do, it makes me so happy when I help a bride find her dress especially if she has been worried about it. And remember just like any other business bridal shops have overheads, rent, insurance, we store our brides dresses until their wedding free of charge, wages, they buy all their sample gowns, we don't sell on every appointment etc. So yes buying a dress from a shop will cost more than buying off eBay but you get our expertise, knowledge, and we make sure it goes right!

Size wise I always tell my brides despite what you would think bridal is about as far removes from vanity sizing as you can get, and every designer has a different size guide. Inches are king here not weight.

I'm a size 12/14 on my bottom half. It wouldn't matter how much weight I lost I would never get smaller than a 12 because hips

Me too. At my slimmest, I'm never going to be less than a 10 on my hips, even if I was underweight.

Sounds like the OP has found the dress in a 14, which sounds much more achieveable and if she ends up slimmer than that, it will be able to be taken in I assume.

Ok, update!

I phoned the shop.

Its in really good condition!

They gave me the measurements of it (to make sure its not a completely different 'size 14' than I'm expecting....It's almost exactly the size I am, bar a couple of inches in the waist which is totally doable.

I'm can pay for it in instalments, they are putting it aside for me and will post it out when it's paid off.

They've even said they will refund me if it doesn't fit since I haven't had a chance to try it on and its a discontinued dress

I'M GETTING THE DRESS!! I'm so excited!!

Thank you so much Cantaana!!

Fabulous news. Really pleased for you xx

It's a beautiful dress. Congratulations.

This is a lovely thread, congrats OP and well done Cantaana!

Yay! So pleased for you! And well done @Cantaana!