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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu to buy this dress even if I know it won't fit me (yet!)?

145 replies

sharkirasharkira · 24/04/2018 17:32

Dp and I have finally decided on a wedding date so I'm now looking at wedding dresses!

I've found one that I absolutely love, it is my dream dress. Has all the elements I want and is just generally bloody stunning. It may sound silly but also the dress' 'name' just happens to be that of a very close family member who passed away last year and it feels like a nice way of including her in our day.

The only problem is..its an 'old' dress from 2016 that has now been discontinued so they are not making them anymore. Its unlikely I'm going to be able to go to a bridal shop and try it on to see if it fits my shape and is flattering.

I have found one online, in the UK (quite difficult, most of the ones I've seen online are from America or Australia, which adds £££'s in shipping fees), and its within my price range!!

But its a size 8 and I'm a size 16 Sad

I do want to lose weight (I am trying) and I have over 2 years before the big day but if I don't lose the weight or its unflattering on me then I've just wasted a few hundred pounds that I can't really afford.

Wibu to buy it anyway, given that its a £1700 dress new and is on sale for a fraction of that and just hope that I eventually fit into it? Or would it be a silly waste of money?

OP posts:
Trialsmum · 24/04/2018 17:55

As other’s have said, a size 8 will be tiiiiny. I’m a size 8 and my wedding dress was a 12, mostly to allow for boobs so even if you get down to an 8 you may still find you’re too curvy!

You’ll only feel rubbish if you don’t get into it so I wouldn’t bother.

Trialsmum · 24/04/2018 17:56

Oh yes, just seen the picture, there’s no room for boobs in that dress!

iamkahleesi · 24/04/2018 17:57

I don't think that's achievable and I think you'll make yourself miserable (and ill) in the process. Your health and well-being is more important than a dress.

amusedbush · 24/04/2018 17:57

I wouldn't do it. Despite my best intentions I was so stressed I GAINED weight in the run up to my wedding.

As PP said a size 8 wedding dress is more like a 6. I wore a dress from a high street shop's bridal range but friends who bought "proper" bridal dresses had to size up at least one. One friend who was a size 16 wore a size 22 wedding dress!

mittensofsteel · 24/04/2018 18:02

It’s GORGEOUS!

But, I bet you could have it made for you if you find a good dressmaker and give her the photos.

Lifeaback · 24/04/2018 18:03

I was expecting to read that you were a size 14 and the dress was a 12, and you were nearing the end of a weight loss journey.

Buying a size 8 (but closer to a size 6) dress when you're size 16 and have no history of weight loss is never going to be a good idea. Not only will it be depressing when two years have flown by and you still haven't started losing weight so it doesn't fit, you will likely lose a lot of money when you try to sell it on

TroubledLichen · 24/04/2018 18:04

Sorry but if you don’t have a good history of losing weight then this is a terrible idea and considering most wedding dresses come up small it’s more likely you’d have to get down to the equivalent of a size 6 on the high street. I don’t want to sound like I’m telling you can’t lose weight, of course you can get slimmer and healthier! But I think buying a size 8 wedding dress when you’re currently a 16 is putting so much pressure on yourself, likely not achievable and will probably ruin the run up to what should be a joyous occasion. To put it bluntly would you really honestly be ok with admitting 3 months out that the dream dress won’t fit, you wasted your money and having to panic buy an off the rack dress as it’s too late to have a dress made or order one from a bridal store?

I agree it’s a truly beautiful dress though, why not see if you can find a dress maker who can replicate it?

IWouldBeSuperb · 24/04/2018 18:04

I was searching for a wedding dress last year and saw LOADS really similar to this -

If this is your 'type', you'll definitely find something you love without the stress and misery of dieting when you should be enjoying engaged life!

user1495490253 · 24/04/2018 18:06

No, that's ridiculous. I bought my dress (second hand) in a size 8, but I was a 12 at my biggest so it wasn't so big a jump. I did manage to get there but it was a source of incredible stress. I wouldn't recommend it!

The dress is lovely but it's a style you can find in any bridal shop in any size.

Chortlesauraus · 24/04/2018 18:10

16 to an 8 is a pretty massive jump.....the general rule with wedding dresses is to size up a couple of sizes so then there is enough material to work with when you get it fitted

As an example, I'm 5ft5 and a size 6 on top and 8 on bottom so bought my dress in a size 10

The good thing is, looking at that photo, it's a pretty classic design-I've seen lots of dresses very similar so it's likely you'd be able to find something just as beautiful if not more so when the time comes

SaucyJack · 24/04/2018 18:11

No, don't do it. You might not lose the weight. You might lose it and look terrible.

Don't forget you've got two years to find the same dress on E-bay in a more realistic size.

Or you might find another dress you like even more.

Splandy · 24/04/2018 18:11

Have you ever been a size 8? Were you around that size as a younger adult? You probably need to consider frame and breast size. My mother in law was skin and bones when she was very ill but never smaller than a twelve because her frame was too large. I don't know whether all wedding dresses run small, mine was an 8 that had to be taken in and I was an 8-10.

Luckingfovely · 24/04/2018 18:12

It's a really bad idea, sorry, and as pp did there are loads of similar ones in the shops.

You can include the name of the person some other way Thanks

Even if, and if it's a big if, you could get down to a size 8 in time, there is no guarantee that it would then fit you or even suit you or that it is a true size 8.

I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but the advice on here is very sensible. Don't put this crazy pressure on yourself, it is not worth and is very unlikely to work.

MrsFantastic · 24/04/2018 18:14

It's a nice dress, but I wouldn't buy it 5 sizes too small. I'm a size 10/12 and I've never been a size 8 and I don't think it would even be possible for me to get to a size 8. It also wouldn't be worth two years of starving yourself for a possibly unattainable goal.

DillyDilly · 24/04/2018 18:16

Only do it if you can afford to buy the dress and also buy a second dress when the time comes nearer and you can’t fit into it (and not to be upset at not fitting into it).

I’m 5’ 4” and although a slim size 10, I never was and never will be be a size 8.

TERFousBreakdown · 24/04/2018 18:17

Size 16 to 8? Sorry, that's too unpredictable/unlikely for it to be a sensible decision. Also not likely to be a size range within which reasonable alterations are an option.

Have you considered having the dress copied by a dressmaker? A good friend of mine works as one and does fabulous dresses based on client design ideas (not in the UK or I'd share her details - there have to be others capable of doing the same, though).

I've recently had a vintage culture dress copied with minor adjustments (original was tea length; I wanted mine full length) for a fancy occasion and the result was stunning!

Original poster
sharkirasharkira · 24/04/2018 18:17

Hmm yeah I think you're all saying what I was thinking, its just too small *cries

I do really want to lose weight either way because I am not happy at my current size but really I want to be about a size 12, 10 at the absolute smallest. I have quite a 'chunky' frame so I think size 8 would look weird and wrong on me.

I have seen others on Ebay in more reasonable sizes but they are all from America and have about £400 just in shipping and import costs on top of the dress price! The Uk one I've seen is £500, down from £1700 Sad

Might look into what else is around but I just love this one, I have tried on other dresses and this shape and sweetheart necklace really suits me best. A lot of the others I've seen have almost everything but are missing one element that I want.

I just love the lace, the flowers, the train, the sparkly belt....

OP posts:
allchangenochange · 24/04/2018 18:18

I bought a vintage wedding dress online, it was tiny when it arrived. I dieted once to make sure I could and then again at wedding time but I was only dropping from ten to eight about a stone and 1/4 and that was a summers work. I am sure it could be done but it sounds very hard work. My now DH thought I was mad, I may have been!

unintentionalthreadkiller · 24/04/2018 18:18

I think it's too much of a drop. What if you love it, get to say a 12 and have to find something else? Get a dress that fits or can be taken in if you do lose weight.

allchangenochange · 24/04/2018 18:20

Why not go on holiday to the states and see if you can buy one and bring it back?

TERFousBreakdown · 24/04/2018 18:20

Vintage *couture dress, obviously.

But, I reiterate: have it made to your specs, with the dream dress as your input.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 24/04/2018 18:21

I wouldn't OP. The stress and pressure to drop 4 dress sizes will be huge.

Keep looking.

TroubledLichen · 24/04/2018 18:23

That’s an excellent idea from allchange, a stateside city break will be cheaper than 2 dresses!!

gonnabreakmyrustycage · 24/04/2018 18:24

I don't think it's feasible unfortunately. I am 5'8" and at my slimmest (quite skinny really) I was always a size 10. I'm a 10/12 now and I am really struggling to go back to a comfortable 10. I wouldn't dare buy a size 8 dress although I have some size 8 tops because they're baggy and I've got tiny boobs.
My best friend is getting married and we have been looking at dresses and I've seen beautiful ones similar to that one. Start saving now and you can get a new one fitted at the time. Good luck!

rebeccabecca · 24/04/2018 18:25

What designer is it?

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