Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s just so unfair? *MNHQ trigger warning*

283 replies

WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 14:27

I’m basically on suspension from work whilst there’s an investigation as I was raped by a colleague and informed the managers.

But I’m on a zero hour contract with no time line of how long this will last, whether we’ll both be let go, or anything. I’m not working so I can’t get paid and I’m so frustrated that I can’t do my job and earn money like I’m the one in the wrong.

I’m sorry everyone I just needed to rant

OP posts:
motorpink · 23/04/2018 20:47

Last I read he admitted it, got sacked and unsacked in the space of about 4 hours then you were both scheduled to work together on Saturday.

Now you are suspended Confused surely your workplace can't do all of this?

Original poster
WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 20:58

I should probably say although it shouldn’t make a difference, I’m 21. I’m nowhere near lifeexpedidnced enough to know how to deal with this in a perfect way. But I don’t want to go to the police. I know they’ll probably believe me but there won’t be enough evidence and I’m not trying to ruin his whole life. I simply don’t want to have to see him again and once all this work business has been sorted, then I can actually focus on healing from the actual rape cause right now the stress of work is worse

OP posts:
Smeddum · 23/04/2018 21:02

OP, you have to do what’s best for you. Whatever that means. If finding a new job is easiest, do that. It sounds like your work haven’t given you the kind of support (even as friends rather than colleagues) that you should have had, and that’s rough.
Not to mention the financial worry. Can you contact the CAB tomorrow and see if they can offer any practical financial advice?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/04/2018 21:04

Woody you need to take time off to heal from the rape, as I have said go to the DR get signed off then you can get an income to keep you going whilst you start working through things. You may have to come to terms with the fact that works hands are tied, and you may well need to be stronger than you are right now to deal with that. However you can't do it on your own you do need to go somewhere that specialises in helping rape victims.

Namechangedname · 23/04/2018 21:06

Hi, OP. First of all, I want to say, I believe you Flowers

But, I don't mean to speak out of turn. I just don't understand why you went to your employer and not the police. But are now expecting your employer to act as if they were the police.

ZX81user · 23/04/2018 21:09

I honestly don't think that there is much your employers can do ,I know you have reasons for not going to the police, but it totally weakens your case.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 23/04/2018 21:37

But, I don't mean to speak out of turn. I just don't understand why you went to your employer and not the police. But are now expecting your employer to act as if they were the police

I also wondered why the employer had been given the responsibility to prove it rather than the police.

If you've given in your notice and wont report the incident to the police, then finding new employment is surely priority?

I wonder if they have carried out the suspension to keep the two of you apart whist you serve your notice as they can't prove either version of events and without a police report there's even less chance.

Missingstreetlife · 23/04/2018 21:44

I should think she went to the employer because she didn't want to see the rapist at work.
They should be sympathetic to this.
I'm not clear if you are suspended while working notice, or have withdrawn notice?
If you felt you had to leave you may have grounds for constructive dismissal. If you resigned you may not get jsa, best go off sick

Original poster
WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 22:16

The employer (AM) is a very close friend outside of work who lives very close to were itvhappened. Hence why I went to her. It was my other AM who initially tried to sack the guy. Not her

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 23/04/2018 22:30

If you're on a zero hours contract I'm sure you can claim jsa for the weeks you don't earn if that is any help.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 22:43

It sounds like your work haven’t given you the kind of support (even as friends rather than colleagues) that you should have had, and that’s rough.

They can’t. Doing so would jeopardise the investigation.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 22:44

I should think she went to the employer because she didn't want to see the rapist at work.
They should be sympathetic to this.

They can’t do anything about the first bit without a legally sound investigation. Otherwise anyone would say something like this had happened to avoid people they don’t like/have fallen out with.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 22:50

I am wondering what sort of evidence could the employer collect in circumstances like this?

Statements from the OP and the accused, any corroboration in a statement from the AM the OP went to afterwards. Any further relevant witnesses’ statements.

DrTorres · 23/04/2018 23:19

I think what people are failing to understand is that the employment case will be disciplinary action (or an action breach of an implied contractual term) against the accused rapist. It has nothing to do with the criminal case.

In all honesty from the employment perspective it doesn’t actually matter if he’s guilty or not.

If the employer carries out a sound and impartial investigation into what happened, and decides on the balance of probabilities that he likely did it, and they move to dismiss him, he can claim unfair dismissal. However, even if he is in fact innocent of the crime of rape, provided the employer has followed a legally sound procedure and carried out a fair and impartial investigation, he is unlikely to win an unfair dismissal claim.

The tribunal is concerned with the employers conduct throughout the process leading to the dismissal. It doesn’t actually matter if the employers belief in the employees guilt is mistaken, if they have acted legally and fairly and reasonably throughout the dismissal process.

lhastingsmakeup · 23/04/2018 23:30

I went through a scary experience with a stalker recently and contacted the police straight away - they have been very supportive, proactive and helpful if that’s what you’re concerned about with the police. I know there’s a lack of evidence now but the fact that he was on drugs and keeps changing his story is definitely suspicious, and supports your version of events. They may be able to offer you support and refer you to specialists/counsellors that can help you. Don’t write the police off as an option just yet.

Your employer is handling this awfully. I would contact HR and clarify the exact terms of your suspension, ie. pay, length of time off etc. I would really iterate how unfair it as that you, as a victim of serious crime, has been currently treated.

lhastingsmakeup · 23/04/2018 23:33

*As in, they shouldn’t be scheduling you both on the same shift etc.

I do agree with others that the work investigation is completely separate from the criminal investigation (that the police would handle) though.

Jamiefraserskilt · 24/04/2018 00:34

I can see two gross misconduct reasons here that he has admitted to

  1. Being under the influence of drugs
  2. Inappropriate sexual conduct
Why the hell is he still employed? You have been suspended and it investigated because you raised a grievance. Start looking for other positions of you can as it looks like any notice you serve will fall into your suspension time.
Missingstreetlife · 24/04/2018 07:31

So, he should be suspended, not her. If allegations thought false after his hearing investigate that

TittyGolightly · 24/04/2018 07:34

So, he should be suspended, not her.

Perfectly reasonable for the OP to be suspended for her own protection.

Tartanscarf · 24/04/2018 07:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tartanscarf · 24/04/2018 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tartanscarf · 24/04/2018 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Totsntantrums · 24/04/2018 08:37

OP you sound like you are in shock. Anger may kick in at a later date and you may decide to go to the police but for now you need to take time for you. How would you feel about returning to this workplace after this? What I am saying is you really need to take time to let what happened to you sink in. Being away from the situation will be good for you although the way they have gone about it is terrible and I know I would feel so angry and upset if it were me.

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Speaking to the services upthread will help to process it. Please don’t try and suppress the situation as these things have a habit of raising their ugly head in the form of anxiety or depression.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 24/04/2018 09:00

You need to understand the difference between a police investigation whereby suspects are protected by PACE and then the decision to prosecute is taken by the CPS, and then the case would go to court.

An employers 'investigation' is completely different. You can't make an allegation and expect your employer just to sack the individual. He may say it was consensual. I think you may have mudded the waters by a) not going to the police and b) returning to work outside of your working hours and discussing what had happened. I think you went in to find out what was going on and for no other reason. Did you think no one would mention the incident.

That's why I think you were suspended because you went to work outside of your working hours and there was obviously a conversation about what happened. Your employer rightly believed you should not be on the premises discussing (influencing??) what had happened with potential witnesses.

You are jeopardising your own claim.

purplelass · 24/04/2018 09:10

I understand that your employers need to investigate but you, at least, should be on garden leave (ie paid to stay at home) until this is done.

Most solicitors do 1/2 hour free advice. I'd advise that you should find one locally who specialises in employment law and take advantage of this.

Wishing you the very best of outcomes x