To not want MIL to refer to herself as "Mummy" around my dc

[tickyticky]

I'm not sure what's gotten into me but this keeps happening and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

I'm very pregnant at the moment and am so up and down emotionally I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable...

Nearly every time we see MIL, which is usually every couple of weeks she refers to herself as Mummy to my dc at least a few times during the visit.

"Give mummy a kiss" "would you like mummy pass that to you" "oops Mummy is in your way". I used to inwardly eye roll but now it just gets me absolutely raging and DD is starting to talk more and more everyday and I'd probably cry if she said "Mummy" to MIL.

Am I being an insecure twat? I know I'm her mummy, she knows I'm mummy, so there should be no issue.
It's just so bizarre for MIL to keep saying it. And DH hasn't called her Mummy since he was about 5.

To my eternal shame, I did that with my dgd once or twice. Always accompanied with profuse apologies and saying something like 'silly grandma' with an eye roll.( The saying mummy stopped quickly, but dgd still does the eye roll and 'silly grandma' every time I do something daft). I felt awful for doing it though. I am also the MIL. My DIL is fab and didn't seem to take offence.Your MIL however seems to do it on purpose. You do need to say something, OP. YANBU.

I would LOVE that shirt, Lethal!

Both my sons' sets of grandparents are Grandma and Grandad, but they have nicknames to differentiate between them.

My parents are the Buggins Grandma and the Pongo Grandad, and my husband's parents are the Skalliwags - all the nicknames are based on what the grandparents call my eldest son. So he associated those names with those grandparents and voila.

My Dad's mum was Grandma Dog because she had a dog and then later Grandma Far because she lived far away.

My mum's mum was Grandma Round and Round because she had this weird racing game we always used to play at her house where the horses went round and round.... Later she was Grandma Near, because, well, she lived locally. I was nothing if not sophisticated as a child!

My Grandads were just Grandad.

Every time she says it make a point of saying 'silly old granny, getting it wrong again' or 'silly granny, she's far too old to be your mummy'.

If she was doing it by accident she'd be apologising, so she must be doing it on purpose. She's got no shame, reflect it right back at her and be shameless yourself! Silly old granny.

My husbands "mother" (we don't associate with her at all so I use the term very very loosely) wanted us to get our eldest child to call her Nangie. Her name is Angela. I know that my brother in laws children call her Nangie and I think it's extremely weird personally, and that my bil/sil pander to her. It's all very odd.

My mil has all her other grandchildren call her Nanny Mam which is weird af and I refuse to let my ds call her it,Its plain old Nana tough shit

My husbands "mother" (we don't associate with her at all so I use the term very very loosely) wanted us to get our eldest child to call her Nangie. Her name is Angela. I know that my brother in laws children call her Nangie and I think it's extremely weird personally, and that my bil/sil pander to her. It's all very odd.

aw why? I think that's kind of cute

My MIL did this and I used to get very annoyed. It was all sorted when my eldest, as soon as he could verbalise the idea, turned round and shouted "You're not my mummy" She never did it again.

Nangie?! How about Mangie, pronounced Mangy?!

Is your DC 7?

@Trinity66 because it's bloody ridiculous. Young kids might think it's daft but not as they get older. The woman is deranged in many ways other than this.

@qwertyuiopy
Manky would suit her better.

Lethal that top is amazing!! Ha ha

DD is 19months so definitely not a new adjustment for MIL getting used to being a Grandma. DH and his DBro also never call her "Mummy".

Plus if it was a one off and she instantly apologised and clearly didn't intend on saying it, I really wouldn't even mention it. We all make mistakes! But it's taking the piss now.

Thank you everyone for confirming that it is really weird and needs to stop. DH said he's happy to have a word and if she does it again if he's in earshot he'll call her out on it and we'll go home immediately.

If he's not there I need to put my big girl pants on and tell her to stop.

@SaveBandit that is batshit!! Absolutely shocking! glad you put your DS in nursery!

DM is called mar-mar, but only because DS couldn't pronounce Grandma properly and the nickname stuck. We quite like it.

In no way is it okay for your MIL to refer to herself as mummy, what a strange woman!

Definitely not a mistake or she would be mortified, not smiling about it.

I once said to my friends little girl "Come here to mummy!" before immediately turning red and realising what I had done (and apologising a lot as I did it very loudly in front of my friend). I have a toddler, I'm used to referring to myself as mummy all day, but I've never ever made that mistake with a friends child again!

That would irritate me too OP! It's nice that all the posters here agree with you, there was another thread recently with the same issue (only it was the OP's own mum doing it) and the OP got very short shrift from everyone which I didn't understand!

Well done for having that rare DH (at least on mumsnet apparently!) who stood up to his DM about this. He needs to call her out on it every time she does it until she stops. how about suggesting she uses the name "Nana" instead. I perfectly understand why she wouldn't like the term "Granny" and I think Nana sounds quite cute.

i.gifer.com/2A1L.gif

Yanbu. It’s a bit weird and also it’s confusing for your dd.

I quite like the suggestion earlier in the thread of "Meemaw" but then I'm a Big Bang Theory/Young Sheldon fan

Mummy is off limits but other than that, she gets to choose. Maybe she's calling herself "mummy" because you won't stop calling her "granny"?

It seems surprisingly common! What a lot of mad grandmas there are!

If you really wanted to avoid confrontation, you could just play dumb - as pp have said, just respond as if you know she's referring to you - BECAUSE WHO ELSE WOULD BE CALLED MUMMY?

So just say "Oh, you can give granny a kiss first! No, I'm not in your way" etc

I'd suggest DH calls her and makes it clear that if she doesn't pack it in, she don't be looking after your DD unsupervised.

And then he needs to take the time off work to parent whilst you're doing whatever it is MIL is babysitting for. Because it's his mother that's acting batshit.