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AIBU?

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Original poster

Afterschool detention

132 replies

bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 20:47

DD is having her first detention Monday and it's an after school.
She's only in Year 7 and she forgot her Geography homework.
Her school doesn't allow mobile phones.
She gets on the train home - getting back from school usually at 4:25pm.
However her detention ends at 5:15pm. The next train is at 7pm...
Making her get home for around 7:35pm since she has to walk home from the station...
I don't really fancy her being around the station this late! It's very quiet.
I can't pick her up from the station and her other parent can't either cause we are both working at this time.
I wouldn't mind if she had a mobile but I'm worried could I call the school asking for a lunch detention or even two? I'm just a bit worried...

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 09:18

callies

But that's why I wouldn't send my child to this school. They obviously think this is proportionate, so they are not going to ignore it if the girl doesn't go. They will escalate it according to their behaviour policy, which has been signed off by their governors and agreed to by the OP. So they would be correct in placing the girl in isolation, even if I agree it is disproportionate to begin with.

callies · 22/04/2018 09:23

Not sure about that Peng

It would be impossible to justify under safeguarding. I know, because I once worked in a very rural school where students were bused in. There is no way the school could justify such a young student getting home so late. I’m not remotely precious but I wouldn’t want my 11 year old at a train station alone at that time in the evening.

In any event, the best course of action would be to in the first instance politely explain the difficulty DD would have in getting home and ask if it could be done at lunch instead. If they refuse, then I’d get difficult Grin

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 09:23

callies
My comment on the law on detentions is separate to the OP's exact situation. In law they do not require consent or notice.

Now yes, in the OP's situation that is a long time to hang around. I still can't fathom how train time doubles for the later train or a 2 hour detention mind.

The sensible thing therefore is to see if the same amount of time can be completed over a series of lunches, not unilaterally decide that the school behaviour policy doesn't apply.

If a parent/child refused detentions in our school then it would be isolation and a parental meeting. School rules apply to everyone and whilst we are very reasonable and do our best to accommodate extenuating circumstances, we don't accept people informing us that our policy does not apply to their child.

GnotherGnu · 22/04/2018 09:24

Department for Education guidance on detentions outside school hours:

School staff should not issue a detention where they know that doing so would compromise a child's safety. When ensuring that a detention outside school hours is reasonable, staff issuing the detention should consider the following points:
• Whether the detention is likely to put the pupil at risk.
• Whether the pupil has known caring responsibilities which mean that the detention
is unreasonable.
• Whether the parents ought to be informed of the detention. In many cases it will be necessary to do so, but this will depend on the circumstances. For instance, notice may not be necessary for a short after school detention where the pupil can get home safely; and
• Whether suitable travel arrangements can be made by the parent for the pupil. It does not matter if making these arrangements is inconvenient for the parent.

Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 09:25

callies

But if the governors signed off on the policy, the Head is reasonable to expect them to back it. Not sure what happens after that level to be honest!

Chattymummyhere · 22/04/2018 09:26

My school tried this. I had to get too busses home. My mum rang and stated as it would mean me traveling alone in the dark I would not be attending and she would even come to collect me if the school tried to refuse to let me leave. I did a day in “isolation” as they called it. Basically I got to sit in the sixth form lessons all day on a pc where teachers checked the classroom every half an hour or so.

ised · 22/04/2018 09:30

So she's got a 2 hour after school for a forgotten bit of home work? That's harsh.

In my experience of school that would be a half hour lunchtime if first time.

2 two hour detention after school would be given for something serious or dangerous

willynillypie · 22/04/2018 09:34

Is it not possible to just pick her up at 5.15 before you go to work? That seems like the far easier solution. If your child has done something against the school rules, their discipline shouldn't be meddled with. I hate when parents try to do this, it completely undermines the authority of the school and hinders the development of a child's notion of consequences. But I also think you will find out it was not that she forgot her homework - there will be something else. Maybe it's the 5th time in a row she "forgot" it, or maybe she didn't do it or something.

callies · 22/04/2018 09:35

It’s unlikely to be reinforced though, Peng

The behaviour policy may state that an hour and a half detention may be issued but no reasonable person could say this should be applied to an eleven year old who lives a distance from the school for forgetting her homework.

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 09:36

I agree it's harsh ised.
It seems a highly unreasonable detention.

I do 30 mins after school for missing homework. (Short lunch and long queues make it a nightmare for the students to eat, use the bathroom etc and do a detention of more than 10 mins of you're lucky).

It would be reasonable to do a detention for 30 mins and for parents to have to find transport. (2 trains, 1 at 415 and one at 7pm does seem to fit in the category of 'suck it up. It'll be inconvenient for you but you chose a school / to live where they were the travel options')

Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 09:37

Maybe. I suppose the alternative would be to change the policy to something more sensible, but that would still involve the OP picking up the child, I'd imagine.

callies · 22/04/2018 09:39

I’ve worked in some shite schools, but never yet in one where there hasn’t been some adapting to the needs of individual students.

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 09:43

Pengggwn
The other thing to consider on policies is what the catchment is like.
Schools I've worked at where most students get bussed in on school transport tend not to do after school detentions.

The last 'my child isn't doing an after school' situation I had to deal with was a parent who chose to send their child to our school 2 towns away so wildly out of catchment. Then used the fact that lifts and transport was a problem to have a go at our policy (where 75% of students are in walking distance and there are regular busses to the 2 nearest towns).

If the OP has sent her child to the nearest school then transport to/from school would be provided, which makes me wonder if they've gone out of catchment and are now complaining that there's invonvenience.

Still a harsh detention for one piece of homework, but the picture doesn't quite make sense.

JamAtkins · 22/04/2018 09:44

DS in similar circumstances was allowed to do 2 shorter after school detentions instead of one normal length to allow him to get the last (convenient) bus. He can get home by a different bus or train but it involves a lot of walking and palaver.
School also allow you to leave your phone in the office to pick up at the end of the school day if you are doing an after school thing.

Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 09:46

MaisyPops

Agreed.

pinkhorse · 22/04/2018 09:47

Have you seen written evidence of this detention? I know dsd has said she's had detention after school when actually she left school at normal time and went somewhere with friends.

5:15 is a very long detention!

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 09:49

Jam
I've done something similar. (2 x 30mins over 1x 1 hour one).

Most of us are pretty reasonable when spoken to reasonably.

Grobagsforever · 22/04/2018 10:14

@bizzylizzy988 schools do not have the legal right to keep kids after school without your consent. So you can choose to refuse this punishment if you feel uncomfortable with DD traveling late.

Drives me up the wall how many ppl on mumsnet do not realise the limits of schools jurisdiction, e.g letting schools dictate at what age kids may walk alone to school etc. Schools frequently overstep the mark IMHO.

GlitterGlassEye · 22/04/2018 10:35

maisypops So? There’s obviously a reason why that kid got a place in the school despite not being within the catchment area. Me and my dc got made homeless last year due to increase in rent that I couldn’t afford and stayed in temporary accommodation 10 miles away from the school for a year. You sure as hell wouldn’t be keeping my child back for forgotten homework.

SluttyButty · 22/04/2018 10:44

I too refused to let my DS have an after school for similar reasons. We agreed on him completing them at lunchtime instead. School were very understanding about it being a safety issue.

Slartybartfast · 22/04/2018 10:45

If the OP has sent her child to the nearest school then transport to/from school would be provided, which makes me wonder if they've gone out of catchment and are now complaining that there's invonvenience.

Transport is provided at school finishing time, not later

Flutterbyeee · 22/04/2018 10:48

You, detentions should only be handed out to those who live near school. Get an actual grip. Do your homework.

nokidshere · 22/04/2018 10:52

My sons go to a school out of catchment with only the one school bus at hometime and no local buses. I made it clear to the school that from yrs 7-9 I would be unable to support an after school detention without notice, but was happy to support in school detentions or other sanctions should the need arise.

From yr 9 I considered them old enough and safe enough to find their way home via train so it was then no problem. The school were totally fine about it and, on the only occasion it happened, they gave me a weeks notice and I was able to make arrangements.

A detention that long does seem disproportionate to the 'crime' though

MadMags · 22/04/2018 10:55

This whole set up is very confusing.

Anyway, OP, you’ve attracted a couple of school/teacher defenders so the thread will veer wildly now and end up a bunfight about how great teachers are versus how draconian and power hungry they are.

Call the school - nobody in his/her right mind would make an 11 year old do this. If they don’t budge, go and pick her up at school finishing time.

On another note, you both work till 9 and she goes to bed at 9...does she not see or speak to either of you all day Monday to Friday?!

insancerre · 22/04/2018 10:56

I would ring them and see if they would rearrange

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