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AIBU?

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Original poster

Afterschool detention

132 replies

bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 20:47

DD is having her first detention Monday and it's an after school.
She's only in Year 7 and she forgot her Geography homework.
Her school doesn't allow mobile phones.
She gets on the train home - getting back from school usually at 4:25pm.
However her detention ends at 5:15pm. The next train is at 7pm...
Making her get home for around 7:35pm since she has to walk home from the station...
I don't really fancy her being around the station this late! It's very quiet.
I can't pick her up from the station and her other parent can't either cause we are both working at this time.
I wouldn't mind if she had a mobile but I'm worried could I call the school asking for a lunch detention or even two? I'm just a bit worried...

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 07:05

Ha ha ha! There is a first time for everything.

Idontmeanto · 22/04/2018 07:10

That’s an unusually long detention. Be prepared for the fact your dd May be exaggerating/winding you up/telling a few porkies.
I’ve known a lot of parents come in to school/send very hot headed emails only to find they have been lied to, so calm down a bit.
Ring the school and double check the timings and ask if she could do the time at lunchtime instead because you have safety concerns. My school regularly do this as we have several students who travel across the county.

claraschu · 22/04/2018 07:22

I also agree with Pengwynn. I would not send a child to a school that had this policy.

Before I changed schools, I would talk to them and see what their reaction is; perhaps there is a misunderstanding,

callies · 22/04/2018 07:25

Some schools are ridiculously over the top with detentions, though, and I’m saying that as a teacher myself.

PlaymobilPirate · 22/04/2018 07:27

Most parents could accommodate those times though - tbh your working pattern is really odd. What would happen if dd and her friend fell out??

Caulk · 22/04/2018 07:34

Is it definitely forgotten homework that caused the detention?

callies · 22/04/2018 07:40

I’d agree it’s not ideal re the DD but what’s the alternative for OP?

Sunisout · 22/04/2018 08:06

I'm primary so slightly different.

A detention that finishes at 5:15? Really.
I however am fed up this week having had 2 parents moan that it was unfair to keep children in at lunchtime.
I would say tough, maybe your dd will remember her homework in future.

Stirner · 22/04/2018 08:13

Just call up the school and tell them she's not coming. Tell your daughter she's not going and if anybody asks her that's the answer she'll have to give.

DamsonOnThisDress · 22/04/2018 08:21

Is your employer in any way reasonable?

Personally I would approach them first - but maybe that's just me - to see if I could come in a bit later but make the hours up, perhaps during the day shift, so one of you could pick her up.

Mirrette · 22/04/2018 08:22

Ours does break, lunch, 1 hour after school and 2 hour after school with the head of house. The 2 hour one with the hoh would not just be for one forgotten homework though!
Primary they just do forgotten hwk at lunchtime

callies · 22/04/2018 08:29

It’s one piece of forgotten homework, Sun Hmm

Bet it’s a bellylaugh in your house.

Sunisout · 22/04/2018 08:34

@Callies

We are nearly 8 months into the year. Surely she knows the consequences of forgetting homework.

callies · 22/04/2018 08:35

Oh fuck that, we all forget shit.

QueenofmyPrinces · 22/04/2018 08:39

Maybe she’s got something planned for after school and is giving you a reason why she’ll be home late as opposed to there actually being a detention?

Kids can be crafty if they want to do something they know their parents wouldn’t approve of.... Grin

Sunisout · 22/04/2018 08:39

@Callies

What about next time? She can't do detention again,because it's inconvenient.

callies · 22/04/2018 08:44

What next time?

If you want my personal view it is that most homework is a load of nonsense and I don’t punish kids for not doing it.

However I know there are some teachers who take a forgotten homework as a sure sign of the first step on the road to hanging outside the Job Centre with a baseball cap and tracksuit bottoms, followed by prison and a channel 5 documentary on benefits, so ok, set the detention. But let’s not pretend we don’t all forget stuff sometimes.

Middleoftheroad · 22/04/2018 08:44

My son's old school did same day after school detentions for the most trivial reasons. In the first week on the first PE lesson loads got detention for bringing the wrong PE socks. My other son's school was far more laid back.

DS was one of a few to reach December at the detention obsessed comp without having had one. However one day he didn't bring in earphones for an ICT lesson.

I couldn't pick up schools emails at work easily. They emailed to say he'd have an hour's detention that day, which would have meant him travelling in dark. I contacted school and they moved it to lunch.

We're no longer at that school (for other reasons) and his new school reasonable and not obsessed with detentions.

Sunisout · 22/04/2018 08:50

@Callies

But was it forgotten or not done?

The rules apply to the whole class not just the children who parents agree.

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 08:51

however in my experience you need to agree to an after school detention, therefore Dont agree
Just call up the school and tell them she's not coming. Tell your daughter she's not going and if anybody asks her that's the answer she'll have to give.

I really wish people would stop giving this advice on detention threads. It is wrong.

By law schools have the right to do detentions and they do not require parental consent, nor do they have to give x amount of notice. They can (should they wish) issue same day detentions, though most don't.

Following the advice of 'just refuse' means that the school will move up the behaviour policy, which usually followiny after school detentions goes to time in isolation.

callies · 22/04/2018 08:54

Actually Maisy, you are incorrect. Schools cannot override parent decisions, much as they think they can. The child may leave at the end of the day. The school may escalate it according to their policies but they’d struggle to justify this decision in front of the governors.

MaisyPops · 22/04/2018 09:08

They do not in law require consent.

Whatever any of us may personally think of detentions consent and notice is not required.

Now a parent may choose to tell their child not to attend but the school is totally within their rights to move up the behaviour policy. They wouldn't struggle to justify that decision to the governors at all.

Child was given a detention for X (in line with policy). Child did not attend detention. Next step up in policy is Y.

Personally I don't see the point in lengthy after school detentions (mine are usually 30 mins) but my personal opinions don't change the law.

Digestivescusturds · 22/04/2018 09:10

So she gets home at 4:25 but it takes her around 35 minutes to get home meaning she finishes school around 3:50. So her detention Is an hour and 25 minutes long? What kind of school is this girl going to??

callies · 22/04/2018 09:10

If I told my child not to attend a detention because she would be getting home at 7 pm and had explained this to the school and they tried to put her in isolation, I would be taking it further.

Schools do not require notice to keep a child in detention. Just the same, it is expected we will use common sense and professionalism. A two hour detention for a forgotten homework is clearly not proportionate.

SandyY2K · 22/04/2018 09:17

Speak to the school. They won't want anything to happen to her. I did once under different circumstances. We were travelling on the Friday evening of the detention. The teacher was fine. She agreed to change it and ended up forgetting in then end, but she listened to me.