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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Afterschool detention

132 replies

bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 20:47

DD is having her first detention Monday and it's an after school.
She's only in Year 7 and she forgot her Geography homework.
Her school doesn't allow mobile phones.
She gets on the train home - getting back from school usually at 4:25pm.
However her detention ends at 5:15pm. The next train is at 7pm...
Making her get home for around 7:35pm since she has to walk home from the station...
I don't really fancy her being around the station this late! It's very quiet.
I can't pick her up from the station and her other parent can't either cause we are both working at this time.
I wouldn't mind if she had a mobile but I'm worried could I call the school asking for a lunch detention or even two? I'm just a bit worried...

OP posts:
Original poster
bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 21:35

That's horrible. There's been so many reported incidents at a park she walks past. And her going at night..? Nope I'm not having it.

OP posts:
Original poster
bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 21:36

I agree, the detentions are pretty long there... I'll do that. I'm phoning them up explaining our situation and we definitely cannot get there!

OP posts:
creampie · 21/04/2018 21:38

Could she get a taxi home?

Vangoghsear · 21/04/2018 21:39

Given the circumstances YANBU to request a lunchtime detention instead of after school. If it is refused ask how they propose to safeguard your DD until the later train.

MyOtherProfile · 21/04/2018 21:40

Who looks after her while you go to work at 6? Is that the neighbours? Does she sleep there? Is there a friend who could get her?

GreenTulips · 21/04/2018 21:41

Why not arrange a taxi home?

Or collect her and take her home then go to work

Who has her between 7-and morning if you both work?

Original poster
bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 21:41

She goes to her friends house a lot of the time. Her friend is 14, but we get back in time for her bedtime.

OP posts:
Original poster
bizzylizzy988 · 21/04/2018 21:43

We both work from around 6-9pm and my partner works from 6am-10am aswell. I work from 12-1pm aswell.

OP posts:
Yorkshirebetty · 21/04/2018 21:44

I've never heard of such a long detention in more than 30 years of teaching! It's usually half an hour. Anyway, do as people above have suggested and contact the year manager to explain your situation.

shanefolan29 · 21/04/2018 21:45

''In the end a teacher drove her home after the detention.''

was this 1988? Cos there is no way a teacher should be doing this today, highly unprofessional and against all safeguarding rules.

LynetteScavo · 21/04/2018 22:06

Is that a 2hr detention for one missed homework? Even my Y10 DS only gets an hour detention fir a missed homework. If he can't get home they change it to lunchtime....personally I think it should be two lunchtimes, but hey.

No way would I expect my Y7 DD to be using a train station at that time of day, but that may say a lot about the area I live in

ItsNotJustMe · 21/04/2018 22:11

2hr 'slt' detentions are pretty common in the schools I've worked in. Not for a missed homework though.. that would normally be an hour. Strange - just to be totally sure, are you positive it's just for missed hw?

NewYearNewMe18 · 21/04/2018 22:25

In the end a teacher drove her home after the detention.

Safeguarding issue, very naïve teacher, and a compromised car insurance

MyOtherProfile · 21/04/2018 22:34

Safeguarding issue, very naïve teacher, and a compromised car insurance

Totally.

Punta · 21/04/2018 23:11

Speak to the teacher. TBH I rarely give an after school detention to younger pupils. Always break or lunch set.

Voice0fReason · 21/04/2018 23:41

I don't think you should get her off the detention but I would question the length of it. What time is the train before the 7pm one?

You say her normal train is at 4.15 and she gets home at 4.25
But if she gets the 7pm train, she won't get home until 7.35?
That doesn't quite make sense.

sentMai · 22/04/2018 06:20

When I was in a similar situation (as a child) my parents backed the school.

They did drive to collect me but I had to pay for petrol money from my Saturday job. Can you not do similar with a taxi?

If not, I think the school should allow an alternative.

Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 06:24

They probably will arrange a lunchtime detention, but if you go in all guns blazing they might not. Just ask politely.

The alternative doesn't would be you book her a cab, or you go into work late. Detentions aren't meant to be convenient.

This one sounds long, though.

Slartybartfast · 22/04/2018 06:39

I would refuse, I have done in fact, if there is no one to pick up my dd, due to being at work, and detention causes her to miss the school bus. Ask for lunch time, I understand lunchtime inconveniences teachers however in my experience you need to agree to an after school detention, therefore Dont agree.

QueenofmyPrinces · 22/04/2018 06:49

So she stays at her friends house until 9pm and the parents don’t mind? And then she comes home when you’re both back from work and starts getting ready for bed?

You also said you try and get home for her bedtime, so what happens if you don’t? Who gets her from her friends house and stays with her until you’re home? Can they not help you out?

I can understand your worries OP and I wouldn’t want my 11 year old hanging around train stations at that time either. I’m surprised there’s be no trains though seeing as 5.15pm-ish would be peak rush hour time for commuters etc?

I think you’d be reasonable to ask for the detention to be split over two lunch times in your circumstances and if they have the staff available to accommodate it then I would hope they’d say yes.

bastardkitty · 22/04/2018 06:54

What kind of school is this? It all sounds very strange.

callies · 22/04/2018 06:56

After school detention is stupidly harsh for one piece of forgotten homework. Ring up and explain.

CecilyP · 22/04/2018 06:59

You should phone on Monday or the school may not be aware there is a problem. You seem only to be concentrating on the time your DD will get home; you also need to make them aware that she will be hanging around unsupervised from 5.15 until 7.00. This is a serious problem, so do not say you wouldn’t mind if she had a mobile phone because you really should mind!

Pengggwn · 22/04/2018 07:00

I actually wouldn't send my child to this school. The punishment seems completely out of proportion. One missed homework should be a detention, but it should be about half an hour. Two missed homeworks or miss the detention, you do an hour. Fair enough. But I can't understand why she is being kept back until 5.15. What time does the school day end?!

callies · 22/04/2018 07:04

Fucking hell I agree with Pengwyn

Grin