In calling my dd Vagina a "Vagina"

[lilymolly]

DD is 16 months and is noticing body parts and pointing to them and making a noise, at which I will say "arm" "leg" etc. Tonight, she touched her privates and I said "Vagina" dp was a little shocked , and before any one shouts, I KNOW its her Vulva, but dont think that word is acceptable with adults never mind children iyswim.

We where having relate counselling last year for sex issues on my behalf, in other words I dont like it, and we discussed this particular issue, and the counseller told us to call it by its name, which is what we woould do with any other body part, such as her arm ect as already mentioned.

As a rookie mum, will this come back to haunt me in later years?
In other words, when she can talk will she talk about her Vagina, will she say it in inappropriate situations.
i.e my friend dds are 7 and 10 and still call it "mary" and I am pretty sure they would not know what a vagina is, and also pretty sure their mother would be mortified if my little angel came out with it

What do other people call it? Advice please

I've posted this before, but I love it, so here we go again:

the part of a woman that is the source of man's depravity
is fashioned with the most enormous care
and what at first appears to be a simple little cavity
is really the most elaborate affair
there's the vulva and vagina and the jolly perineum
and the hymen in the case of certain brides
and lots of other gadgets you would love if you could see 'em
and the clitoris and so much more besides

Also, I couldn't let a 'girls' bits' thread go past without posting...

my dd knows its her bits, or her mini, or her vagina (when talking about where her baby brother came from, or when she sees mummy putting a tampon in!) she knows all three and knows they mean the same thing, no confusion or anything (shes 2.6 btw) she cant say vagina tho so she says bits or mini! as far as i see you call it what you like when they'r little really, you'll teach them the proper names later but if you want to use them to begin with no problem. my dd doesnt talk about her bits or mini in public situations (although during potty training we had a problem with 'fiddling' but thats another story!!!)

I don't find vulva to be a shocking term at all, lily. Surely you should be teaching your daughter not to be ashamed to use the correct words?

It is what it is. Are you going to call her arms by something different?

I don't understand acceptance of the word vagina and horror of vulva??

good point lazy, hence my deliberation

Loads of children call them by their proper names. Mine always have. You do them a huge service if you let them know proper names but not all parents choose to do that. The language, accent, grammar all kinds of things we give to our children is up to us as long as we're aware of the consequences.

NQC - am loving 'wide on'!

I would feel more comfortable using the word vagina rather than vulva. I can't really qualify that any further. Maybe because vulva just isn't as widely used as vagina.

In our household when growing up, we all had 'fairies' (apart from Dad ) but I also also knew the correct term.

I don't have any answer, but I'm following this with great interest. I have a DS and it is interesting to me that it is so much more 'acceptable' to use the word penis than the biological words for the female anatomy.

my dd1 calls her vulva her vulva. she hardly ever says the word though, because she hasn't much need to, but it is useful sometimes. e.g. when she says my bottom is sore I can say do you mean your vulva or your bottom? and when she had a swab taken I was able to tell her where the nurse was going to look.
she has not said it in church or yelled it at any shocked passers by.
she is perfectly aware that this part of her body is private.
and I can confirm that, notwithstanding my daughter knows and uses the correct word for her genitals, the sky has not so far fallen in.

Ds kind of lets the side down on the not yelling it at bystanders thing, or did for about a month when he was 2

ah well

Hmmm, yes. Ds was rather prone to providing regular updates on his penis when he had a few problems in that area.

Including "my penis was sore - the doctor touched my penis and now it's all better"

Every time we passed the doctor's surgery. Which we did twice a day.

I do appreciate that people have more problems with 'vulva' than 'vagina', but they really, really aren't the same thing. So if you don't want to say 'vulva', then perhaps you should use 'vagina' for, well, the vagina, and one of the pet names for the vulva.

i was going to go with the dictionary until tonight but now i've discovered so many fantastic new words (fanjo) i'm more confused than ever and have no idea what to tell my ds who keeps asking what I have if i don't have a penis like him and daddy (i've always taught ds's the proper name for theirs as that is what will be expected from them at school) so watching this thread with great interest!

If he's asking about what you have instead of a penis, then he probably means where does your wee come out. My ds has no idea (yet) that his penis is in fact multlifunctional. To start talking about vaginas could lead to all sorts of confusion...

What about "genitals" if you don't like "vulva"?

exactly, womens' "bits" are so more complicated as the penis is more straightforward it's easier to "tackle" the male anatomy (no pun intended!), i've just got away with 'mummy has something else to wee from just not a penis, only boys have a penis') but i'm not sure that's going to last!!

I do tend to use 'bits' to describe mine to DS1 (who seems to have stopped insisting that I have a fur willy ), but will no doubt give him proper terms in time. We do use 'willy' for his penis, but I heard him calling it a 'penit' yesterday, and clarified the correct word.

It is annoying that there isn't a common kids word for vulva, the equivalent of 'willy'.

Oh I do so love "fur willy"

Well...I always call it a vagina when my sons ask....and yes, my ms, who is 4 is talking sometimes about Vaginas, as in the BAby comes out of the mummys vagina...but well....beter then moneybox or some such shite, lol!

Or beef curtains (that is the funniest but crudest term I have heard - to me it is worse than cunt because of the image it conjures up).

Badly stuffed kebab

I call girls bits a mini, or in my case a maxi ( lol had two children) and boys are willies, no long words. My niece calls hers a flower, but i cant be doing with that.

Mini and willy!!

It's a vagina, my 13 year old has always known it's called a vagina and he doesn't seem scarred by it.
Can't personally understand why anyone would call it a 'mary'.

I inherited the term 'little inbetweenoes' from my mum. Or 'down below'.

The blessed Vagina Mary maybe?

So, wise women, just what is a vulva and just what is a vagina, then?

I mean, it's a bit like the TV. I know how to turn it on, but I've no idea how it works

vagina is the inside bit
vulva is the outside bits.

I thought everyone did this in biology at about age 12

[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulva]