To wonder why some children are so LOUD?

[AjasLipstick]

Just pondering. A friend of my DD's...well it's actually a friend of DH's daughter who we know from the odd social occasion...she's 8 almost 9 but DD never wants to accept invitations to play with her because the child is so LOUD all the time.

She shouts, shrieks....yells. Constantly craving attention and to do "Crazy" things.

She's a perfectly bright child...seems advanced in art and is more or less polite ...I don't know of any special needs at all....and her parents are big sharers...but she's almost unbearable after about 20 minutes due to the sheer level of noise she makes.

I had a word with myself at the last event we were at with this family because she was so pushy for the attention of all the adults that I thought "God why don't her Mum and Dad tell her to be quiet?" and I thought "Would I feel like this if she were a boy?"

And then I realised that YES...I would feel the same. It's nothing to do with me expecting girls to be gentle and quiet....neither of my girls are particularly soft and gentle but they don't break my eardrums either!

I wonder this about adults tbh - my SIL is so, so loud that when she goes to the loo, I can hear everything, even her unzipping her jeans and dropping her trousers.

I worry my DD will be the same as her, as she is a little screamer - people comment on it and she's only 6 months!

All young children seem loud to me these days. I must be showing my age.....

ALongHardWinter - not at all, I would have said that when I was a child myself.

funny thing...the children opposite are really noisy, all last summer I heard them shriek and their dad - I don't see a mum - just never ever got them to quieten down.

Today he yelled "shut up now" and I almost wanted to shout "duuuuude! about time!" through my window but he was clearly far too pissed off.

quite why he has them playing in the tiny car park when there's a green park two minutes away is beyond me, but if it means I don't have to listen to them screech this summer I'm very glad.

Generally speaking it's not this or any other family's responsibility to make you feel comfortable or at ease.
This is exactly the attitude from parents that infuriate me. It's nothing to do with responsibility. If a child is annoying, you teach them to stop being so. If your children complained that a kid was constantly asking them to play with them even though they didn't want to, would you tell your kid that it's not that kids' responsibility to stop annoying your child and that your child should just put up with it because the other kid has a right to ask him pester him to play with him?

As to the difference between UK/Europe, of course not all kids in all European countries are quiet and of course there are parents who think that their kids screaming is their human rights, but as a whole, there is more of an acceptance, at least in the majority of European countries that kids screaming and shouting when there are other people around them who expect to be able to enjoy peace and quiet is not acceptable.

The problem is the parents. Most children are loud sometimes. Decent parents teach them not to be. The second that mine start yellinf/sxreanibg/making any noise above quiet talking volume I tell them to use their inside voice.

A neighbour of mine has two small boys. Their normal volume control is set to 'Yell At Top Of Voice'. You've never heard two little kids make such a racket, they are insufferable.

DH's family is lovely but they're all yellers. The PIL have a big house with 4 floors and everyone just yells from room to room and floor to floor yet when they're all in the same room, they speak (shout) at the same loud volume. I love them but the regular screaming can be exhausting.

@LockedOutOfMN

how have you never done a massive echoey "Shut UP!" like at the end of the Taylor Swift video (Look what you made me do)?

SpringNowPlease2018

They'd never hear me over each other...I haven't got a very loud voice.

They're loud because they have never been told to be quiet....one of my neighbours has 3 boys & sometimes it sounds like they're channelling the exorcist....and this is 24/7, mother does NOTHING....father just out of prison tries to keep order, but it never lasts long. The rest of the estate is similar, free range kids & I never ever hear their parents asking for a bit of quiet (but parents have no volume control either).

We hear a lot about special needs kids but rarely about adults with autism, fibromyalgia,HSP, SPS or misophonia (noise sensitivity) sound is a real issue for these people.....but don't you dare complain or even look pissed off....we've all just got to suck it up cos "kids will be kids!!" (the stock response of the entitled defensive parents who favour the 'hands off' approach to parenting)

Unfortunately consideration is a rare commodity these days & I can't wait to move away from this estate....maybe I might be able to sleep through the night?

DS is loud, it's cultural (DHs family is Asian and mine are Italian. We're all loud )

Luckily when he's around other people (ie nursery or the park) he isnt any louder than any of the other DC. He's always been quite good at context so he's fine on public transport or if we go out for a meal.