To think a 17 year old can get the bus home?

[makeupbag]

My mum has an appointment tomorrow at the time she would normally be picking my brother up from school. This afternoon she has asked me, his older sister, to pick him up in my car. Normally I would be happy to do this, but tomorrow I have plans that I would have to cancel to pick up my brother. I've said that at 17 he should be capable of walking down the hill for 15 minutes to the bus stop for a 10 minute bus journey that will drop him literally outside our house. My mum disagrees, saying it would be fine if he was used to it, but he's only done it once or twice before. Who is being unreasonable?

My 17 yr old gets the bus to college at 7am and arrives home from college, off the bus at 7.730pm. Every now and again we give lifts if we can but she has to make her own way. If he was 7 I'd understand but that is ridiculous.

This is ridiculous. My 11 year old can do this. Does she book a babysitter when she goes out?

I had a child and was living alone except for her at 17. im fairly sure he can get the bus for a short trip without coming to harm. even with a broken toe. sorry for being a bit blunt, but honestly he is more than capable.

My DS is 12 and had to get the bus on his own the other week near our house in the morning.

He had to get to a meeting point he had never been to before for a School excursion.

He couldnt find the stop to get on the bus on the way home so walked a longer route he knew to get to the train station to get a bus he knew would be there to get him home.
He got home in one piece and was fine.

Your DB will fine if left to his own devices to get a bus home he is more than capable.

I wasn’t exactly the most savvy teen on the block but even I was managing to commute to university and my part time job alone by public transport at 17.

The English attitude toward 17 on adulthood?? Always amazes me.

Is there a way for your brother and your mother to practice taking the bus together so he gets the hang of it, if you really can't manage, it may be helpful.

Kids go on the bus from primary age here! At 17 I was travelling all around the country on buses and trains (5-6 hour type journeys) to uni open days on my own. A bus ride shouldn’t require a second thought at that age.

I do think a walk which would normally take 15 min is a long way to have to hobble on a broken toe.

So why did your mum make an appointment which would prevent her from picking him up? I suppose it could be something urgent such as an important doctor appt, in which case your DB can wait at school until she is able to pick him up, if he doesn't feel able to manage the walk.

In general yes, I agree with you, he should be getting the bus sometimes if not all the time. It's an important skill.

YANBU. I used to get the bus and train on my own at 14, without a phone. So have many other kids everywhere in the world!!!

My OH was in the Army at 16 and I was living away from home working and paying my rent and bills at 16.....and this was in the late 70's/early 80's, is she living in this century? I'm gobsmacked she is mothering him to the point of making him incapable of getting a bus home at 17!
He needs to man-up and she needs to step back.....god knows what sort of husband he will make at this rate

@makeupbag YANBU, but as he has a broken toe I think your mum is not either.

If you can help him this once I would but I would also encourage your mum to help him go out and be more independent.

"My brother is not particularly outgoing or bothered about going out or meeting up with friends which is why it hasn't caused issues with him. I agree that she's not helping him in the long term though"

I agree it is not helping him long term but I wonder if he has some level of social anxiety or whether he has been bullied in the past etc and your mum is wrapping him up a bit in cotton wool for his safety?

Either way, in your shoes I would help this time and say when his toe is better you think more independence would help. You could even talk direct to your brother about it.

To be honest the fact other 17 year olds have hiked up Kilimanjaro or whatever is not completely relevant here.

11+ is the age I would say getting a bus on your own is fine. 13+ for the train over 30 minutes. She's being ridiculous.

At 16 I had a moped attended further education, had part time job and volunteered. Before this I caught the bus. You are not doing him any favours, he needs to learn to be independent

I went on holiday by myself at 17! He can manage a bus

When I was 15, I used to go visit my boyfriend who lived 5 hours away by train. I did that trip several times a year and would stay with him and his family for a week or two at a time (even then nothing too salacious happened!). Other than one time when I overslept and missed my stop and the guard pretty much kicked me off at an unstaffed rural station in the middle of nowhere to weight for my mum to come pick me up, never had any problems. At that age, I also used to walk home every day (about a 30 minute walk), sometimes I’d walk to school in the morning as well. I bet your brother will enjoy the relative freedom!

17 year olds can join the army.

He can manage the bus.

I say that as someone who has had broken toes. Decent shoes help.

@outandabout
The average age of a soldier was 19 according to Paul Hardcastle. Apparently it was 22 though. Just looked it up. And leaving this here for anyone else, who loved the song.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=hRJFvtvTGEk

Op your mother is being ridiculous unless it hurts his foot to walk 15 mins. How come her appointment supersedes your plans? Whose is the most pertinent?

Why hasn’t he got a car already? As an older sister you should have paid for his lessons and bought him a car not an old junk one though would have to be less than a year old with a warranty and service plan in place. We don’t want the little darling lifting the bonet do we.
Your a bad sister
lmao my older sister was also a bad sister a use to have to bike then moped then motorbike everywhere never got a lift if I wanted to go it was up to me to get there.

But seriously wtf or is your mum worried he might walk into a lamp post on under a car because he’s looking at his phone instead of looking where he’s going? Does he know what a bus 🚌 looks like? Will he spend the fare on Pokemon?

Couldn’t.t tie a brown packing label to his coat so if he gets lost someone could deliver him home?

Brown label _ Paddington bear !

What are his plans, a degree? Will he take mummy to live in halls with him? If not, who will cut up his food and tuck him in?

It sounds as though you still live at home and you are talking about your brother being babied!!

These days lots of people can't afford to move straight out. Doesn't mean being babied though. Not the same as the bus thing at all.

Utterly ridiculous. I left home at 18. I was travelling 5 miles on the bus alone at 11 when I went to senior school.

My 17 year old travels 45 miles to the city for a day out- 2 x buses and 1 train. Catches the bus home
From 6th form, and different buses to and from his part time job- he would wet himself if I suggested he wasn't capable, but then he'd been doing the city since 14.
How will he manage with university
Or work in the next year?

I got the bus to school in my own from the age of 11. Your mother is being ridiculous.