To think a 17 year old can get the bus home?

[makeupbag]

My mum has an appointment tomorrow at the time she would normally be picking my brother up from school. This afternoon she has asked me, his older sister, to pick him up in my car. Normally I would be happy to do this, but tomorrow I have plans that I would have to cancel to pick up my brother. I've said that at 17 he should be capable of walking down the hill for 15 minutes to the bus stop for a 10 minute bus journey that will drop him literally outside our house. My mum disagrees, saying it would be fine if he was used to it, but he's only done it once or twice before. Who is being unreasonable?

Yanbu and, ultimately, she's doing him no favours.

Jesus Christ if he can't get on a bus at 17 there's not a lot of hope when he goes to uni.

Jesus I had a broken big toe and I still managed to get about. I couldn't drive because of it so had to walk to the bus stop with my 4 year old and then get a bus and then walk the other end to get him to school.

I can not for the life of me think why a 17 year old would need picking up from school! My son will be making his own way to school once he hits secondary. Your mum is doing him no favours and he is going to be a nightmare for any future partners......if he ever cuts those apron strings that is!!

Some mothers want their sons to be babied forever, and their daughters to be their slaves when mother is not able to this, either constantly, or as a one off. I said SOME mothers!

Does anyone remember a thread about "penis portions" for example!

Are you still living at home OP? How old are you now if so?

YANBU, my DS1 is 16 and takes two buses to college.

OP,
Don't change your plans.

This is your Mothers issue not your Brothers.

Your Brother may even enjoy a bit of freedom

I didn't get the bus until I was 19 for the first time because my DM didn't allow us to be independent and all this molly coddling has caused me a lot of issues over the years. He'll be fine, even with a broken toe and your DM really needs to let you spread your wings.

YANBU, OP
Your DMum is doing this still to give her life a role and a function, as without doing this, who would she be? Massive empty nest issues approaching, assuming the pampered boy can ever be bothered to leave.
And, of course, it's about her anxiety issues, by the sound of it. She needs to deal with it, before she ruins her son.

Goodness, I'd moved 100 miles away from home when I was 17 and was getting the bus alone at 12. I thought my parents didn't give me much freedom at the time!

It beggars belief how much some older teens are molly coddled. My DS has ASD and so we had to go through the motions of teaching him to use public transport. He caught a public bus to school from age 16 and prior to that had been travelling on a contracted school minibus. I only stepped in with lifts if there was a problem. Your DM is doing your DB no favours at all - she's just making him lazy and conditioning him to be reliant on others.

This babying seems to be quite common these days. DS was home from Uni at Easter and he said that in his flat of 8 there are at least 4 sets of parents who visit on a very regular basis, bring their DCs shopping and clean their rooms for them! I'm afraid my jaw dropped at that one! How on earth are these young people ever going to grow up?

even with a broken toe... this is ridiculous.. he manages to walk around school all day right

I was living abroad in a different country to all my family at 17. Poor guy needs a chance to grow up. You'll do him a favour by not picking up.

Blimey. Is it a dangerous area? Otherwise I don't see the problem. I was travelling by school bus 20 minutes from 11, then at 16 it was an hour to and from college. To walk to town was 20 minutes before getting the pubic bus. This was totally normal. I don't understand why a 16 year old wouldn't want the independence.

Trying to imagine my mum coming to my student flat and cleaning it.

Bloody hell, I'd got a job and moved out on my own by that age! A 17yo unable to catch a fucking bus?!! Does she want you to wipe his arse as well? Just say no. If she wants to baby him that's up to her, you don't need to facilitate that nonsense.

Friends of mine ferry there children around everywhere. And I mean everywhere. They have never used public transport. At 18 the parents HAD to buy them a car as “how else will they get around”. Beggars belief.

I can’t see the why this is complicated and it’s obvious who is being unreasonable. It’s very easily solved - if you can’t do it then just say no. If your mum thinks he’s incapable or at risk in some way then she’ll have to rearrange her appointment. Job done.

No way should you collect him! Stand your ground- he needs to be able to get a bus himself!

Wasn't the average age of US soldiers in Vietnam 18?
Sorry Mr President we lost the war because we couldn't get the bus.

This babying seems to be quite common these days. DS was home from Uni at Easter and he said that in his flat of 8 there are at least 4 sets of parents who visit on a very regular basis, bring their DCs shopping and clean their rooms for them!

I am not doubting your word at all bigblue when I say I find that unbelivable! I just can't find any other words at the minute...

Haha, your mum!
My 6 year old gets the school bus, alone!

Wow that’s quite sad that she won’t let him get a bus home. What is she worried will happen? He’ll get lost? Get the wrong bus? Interact with a member of the public?

No way would my parents pick me up at 17, I was going to the pub at that age!

Interesting how you and your appointment are the least important things in this scenario. If it's so important to your mum that he's driven home, she'll have to change her own appointment. It does come across as him getting boy privileges.

In 2015 my son went to Serbia via Venice and back to Munich when he was 16.Took him a long time but he made it.

At 16 I was walking two miles to the nearest bus stop to catch the bus in to town for my Saturday job.