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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 17 year old can get the bus home?

163 replies

makeupbag · 17/04/2018 19:00

My mum has an appointment tomorrow at the time she would normally be picking my brother up from school. This afternoon she has asked me, his older sister, to pick him up in my car. Normally I would be happy to do this, but tomorrow I have plans that I would have to cancel to pick up my brother. I've said that at 17 he should be capable of walking down the hill for 15 minutes to the bus stop for a 10 minute bus journey that will drop him literally outside our house. My mum disagrees, saying it would be fine if he was used to it, but he's only done it once or twice before. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
schnubbins · 17/04/2018 20:17

On a bus I meant to say.

Mrsbird311 · 17/04/2018 20:18

My son is 17 and living in a different country in his own flat!! Poor kid, don’t pick him up let him have his independence!! He really needs to cut the apron strings, I am actually really saddened that she is treating him like this

Iloveacurry · 17/04/2018 20:19

Your mum is being ridiculous. He can get the bus.

GreenItWas · 17/04/2018 20:22

I left home at seventeen and was renting a three bed semi from a farmer and getting the bus to work in the week and riding home on a moped to see my folks at the weekend.

coconuttella · 17/04/2018 20:23

I can’t quite believe this... 17!! Ffs!! She is being ridiculously over-protective, and doing your brother no favours at all.

Kokapetl · 17/04/2018 20:24

I would have said YANBU but yesterday I was on a bus with my toddler and the young man in front of me asked whether it was the the number 24* bus. I told him no, it was the 23 and he groaned then got on the phone to his Dad! The 23 bus has a completely different route from the 24 and we had completed about half the journey. He looked about 17 and had a local accent.

  • not actual bus numbers
ArchchancellorsHat · 17/04/2018 20:24

He's not going to get used it unless he starts doing it. I was living on my own with no support at all from parents when I was 17. I also managed to navigate the buses. And I have ASD. It's not doing him a kindness to let him be so dependent.

coconuttella · 17/04/2018 20:28

Don’t enable the enabler of the person who’s stifling your DB from growing into a man. Say no and stand up to her if she gives you grief.

ElephantsYeah · 17/04/2018 20:31

At 17 I worked in a residential home for mentally ill patients, in a different country speaking a different language. Your mum is being un reasonable.

BonnieF · 17/04/2018 20:31

When I was 17, I was running a multinational corporation while inventing the internet in my spare time.

OK, that’s a slight exaggeration, but I was getting the bus into Derby on my own every Saturday to work an 8 hour shift at Boots then getting the bus home again. This was considered perfectly normal....

seeingdots · 17/04/2018 20:33

I moved 100 miles away and lived independently at 17. YANBU!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 17/04/2018 20:35

Most 17 year olds would be very embarrassed that their mum still picked them up from school when there was a bus alternative!

Ellendegeneres · 17/04/2018 20:36

I was moved out and living alone (and paying all bills etc) and travelling and hour each way to my full time job at 17.
He can walk to the bus ffs.

And if she starts about his toe, I broke my arm (that I predominately use) when my ds was a toddler. It was fucking hard and nobody helped me. I managed.
He’s a big boy. It’s one day. Your mum needs a grip, please equip her with one.

kaytee87 · 17/04/2018 20:39

My BIL has dyslexia, severe adhd and a 'moderate' learning difficulty op top, he manages to get the bus to and from his voluntary job 4 days a week and up to our house.
Your mum isn't doing your brother any favours, she needs to get a grip.

BattleaxeGalactica · 17/04/2018 20:41

Your mum is being ridiculous as well as unreasonable and if your brother isn't embarrassed to be regularly collected from school by his mum he damn well should be.

Time for her to stop hovering and him to shape up.

kaytee87 · 17/04/2018 20:41

Also at age 17 I was no longer living at home and was working and studying.

FrancisCrawford · 17/04/2018 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HumptyD93 · 17/04/2018 20:54

wow.... YANBU.
I wasn't a very outgoing teen. I was shy, worried about everything, my mum did everything.
But at 16 I started college.... I had to get a bus, walk 10 mins, get train, then walk 30 mins to get there.
At 18 I was walking 30 mins, 2x trains taking 45 mins total, then a mile walk to get to work for 8am.

I am sure he can manage a bus home!!!!

gildashairflick · 17/04/2018 20:57

My daughter flew on her own to South Africa on her own at 15 changing at Charles de Gaul and entertaining herself for 4 hours. At 17 he can get the bloody bus!

coconuttella · 17/04/2018 21:04

I can’t match the stories of people who had moved out at 17 and we’re fully independent having travelled the world solo two years earlier, my mum was over-protective compared to many, which is partly why I was so homesick for my first year at uni.. but even she would be aghast at this!

Original poster
makeupbag · 17/04/2018 21:13

My brother is not particularly outgoing or bothered about going out or meeting up with friends which is why it hasn't caused issues with him. I agree that she's not helping him in the long term though

OP posts:
raindropsandsunshine · 17/04/2018 21:19

Ansumpasty they get it at 4/5 here too! This thread is utter madness.

MargotLovedTom1 · 17/04/2018 21:24

Is your mother Beverly Goldberg?

Absolutely ridiculous to be ferrying him around at the age of 17.

MargotLovedTom1 · 17/04/2018 21:25

And how's he ever going to get used to it if he never does it?!

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 17/04/2018 21:28

Seventeen? Seven. Teen?