The pornstar look

[PinkbicyclesinBerlin]

I know, I know we should not be judging each other but the pornstar look? Why would you do that to yourself, over inflated boobs, over inflated lips what is it about it that appeals to some women. I presume men are attracted to it because it screams sexually interesting but I cannot understand why women are drawn to it. AIBU

Of what?

I’m in charge of my own POV.

Accepting women exactly as they are is the opposite of judging them

But you're not accepting them as they are. Are you? You accept them with no enhancements. When the enhancements happens you don't accept, you get all judgey and mean.

The rest of us accept women however they chose to present themselves. We accept them exactly as they are.

The backlash against feminism is so strong and effective it blows my mind.

Because women are fed up of being criticised and told what to do. A lot of feminists (and Mumsnet has more than its fair share) are guilty of being patronising, dictatorial and dismissive. In fact they’re guilty of feministsplaining!

Tatiana, and to say my comment is crack pot shows a total lack of self awareness of your attitude.

That poster said she loved the look. That's her decision. Your retort indicates you feel she is wrong. She should accept herself as she is. That your view on what is attractive supersedes her right to her view on what she feels is attractive. If she wants to look like that, who are you to question it?

Saying enhancements aren’t necessary does not equal not accepting women who are enhanced.

I haven’t judged anyone, simply analysing the phenomenon.

No it just shows your lack of awareness of your own crackpotness.

Bumblefuddle, are you being deliberately obtuse?

This is the whole problem with the fact that no person is an island.

In an ideal world women would wear whatever they like and so would men and how people presented themselves would have zero impact on anyone but themselves.

The problem is that we don't live in that world. When Miley Cyrus wore practically nothing and twerked, the women in my place of work, none of whom are MC, got sexist comment made to them, got asked why they didn't dress that way, and got taken just a little bit less seriously in their professional roles than before.

The choices other people make often impact negatively on others. It isn't something we can, or should, pretend doesn't happen.

Someone playing to all the feminine stereotypes hurts women who do non-stereotypically feminine jobs. People actively trying disrupt feminine stereotypes are doing everyone a favour.

Not everyone's choices are equal in terms of the way they impact others.

That poster said she loved the look. That's her decision. Your retort indicates you feel she is wrong. She should accept herself as she is. That your view on what is attractive supersedes her right to her view on what she feels is attractive. If she wants to look like that, who are you to question it?

She said liked the look, but clearly can’t afford it. I just said looks fine as she is.

Unless you believe that that she really must have those implants and extensions, presumably you agree.

I didn’t say she should accept herself as she is as I have no control over her self image.

Crackpot doesn’t refer to mental health - it means eccentric, unrealistic, foolish.

@Bluntness, men also have eyebags, dark circles, blemishes and discoloured skin, but somehow only women are sold the bullshit lie that they need to cover their skin with a 2nd layer of skin, for >£10 a pot.

Ridiculous. It's just capitalism, if someone can make money out of something, then they do, even when it's completely unneccessary. I guess if girls/guys were taught they were good enough how they are, the entire beauty, steroid, gym and cosmetic industries would collapse.

I get feminism defending choices, but feminism should also argue against industries that are built on constantly drilled-in insecurity for women, like beauty magazines and "anti-ageing".

Oh eeexcellent, we’ve got to the online dictionary part of the thread.

Try the OED.

Because we live in a society which values women solely for their looks and this particular 'look' is very in at the minute.

We don’t like in such a society, that’s a gross exaggeration. That’s not to say part of society over-values how women look.

WTAF? Who cares what someone else decides to do with their appearance?

Unless it’s something that’s a mental issue, such as body dysmorphia, concerning a loved one, why would anyone care?

@Bluntness, men also have eyebags, dark circles, blemishes and discoloured skin, but somehow only women are sold the bullshit lie that they need to cover their skin with a 2nd layer of skin, for >£10 a pot

No one is told they "need"to cover their skin. However if I or any other woman choses to use styling products to make our hair look thicker or shinier, foundation to make our skin tone look more even and flawless, our eye bags disappear, our thinning brows look thicker, then this is our right.

This is where you are failing to grasp it. You think we are told we "need" to , we are not. You cannot comprehend we may wish to. We simply have a choice. Whether we do or not enhance our skin or hair. And as women that's our right.

I chose to. You may chose to show your greys, leave your eyebags uncovered, your uneven skin tone and blemishes fully visible, Your hair looking lank and be perfectly happy telling yourself we have all been sold a lie. Everyone else thinks as women we have a choice.

And that's what it is. Choice. Not an order. Not a need. Not a demand on women. It's a choice women have. And you should respect that. Not pour scorn on women who make differing choices to you becayse uou feel your choice is superior.

But there is a difference. Men have grey hair, they are a silver fox. Women have grey hair, they are old and have let themselves go. Men have uneven skin and eye bags, no-one notices. Women have them, everyone comments saying how tired and ill she looks. Just like leg shaving - I grow them out all winter but feel too self-conscious and get comments if I go out with hairy legs in summer. It's hardly a free choice when you feel like you get the wrong sort of attention (comments, jibes, stares) if you don't do it!

Tbf my comment about getting them was a bit flippant as the reality is I could afford them if I wanted them but I don’t have them and actually spend most of my life dressed like a Swedish hillwalker and feeling perfectly fine about it.

I don’t feel like I NEED those things, but I do think they look good and if I had endless money I might get them from time to time.

I don’t shave my legs or pubes, I barely wear make up in real life but I also like the ultra glam look.

I think modesty wear is as anti feminist as the porn look tbh, how about we focus on Male entitlement and violence rather than whether a woman has hair extensions.
We’re staring at the wrong end of the stick.

Why do you care OP?

Good question, I just wondered really why anyone would do that to themselves.

I have my own views and I wondered what others views were. I thought if I just sucked up all the “you’re being judgemental” posts, because obviously I am being judgemental I might get other people’s perspectives which is always better than just having your own.

In an ideal world women would wear whatever they like and so would men and how people presented themselves would have zero impact on anyone but themselves.

This is neither ideal nor realistic, and completely misunderstands the dynamics of much of sexual attraction. There may some people for whom looks play no part in sexual attraction, but that’s not the case for most people, especially men who seem to be more visual creatures.

It’s entirely natural and normal for someone to want to dress and present themselves in a way that they feel is likely to be attractive to the person they are wishing to attract. Women get the ‘porn star look’ because they want to be physically attractive to the type of men (or women) who find that attractive.

It’s entirely natural and normal for someone to want to dress and present themselves in a way that they feel is likely to be attractive to the person they are wishing to attract. Women get the ‘porn star look’ because they want to be physically attractive to the type of men (or women) who find that attractive.

I actually never thought about that coco are their lesbians who are into that look? Is it a look based purely on men’s gaze or do women who like women like it too. My suspicion is that is is almost entirely based on the male gaze. Could be wrong.

a look that puts you in dangerous situations

Well fuck me that’s a rape apologist right there.

My teenage dds like yours Bumble have tiny waists s big boobs and they would be amazed st these threads. Thry are both academically talented by the way and at uni. Just in case they were seen as as thick as their mum.

Another nasty judge mysogynistic thread. Patronising so called feminists and a random twatty bloke telling the rest of us we are all simple and easily conned.

If you don’t want to look groomed great don’t. The bitchy patronising comments are only coming one way.

Go back to the echo chamber of the feminist board. The rest of us have moved on.