Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

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Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

1. MIL tells me the same long winded story every time I see her. I've known her for 21 years. She speaks very slowly and pauses frequently and waits for me to laugh at the appropriate points when what I really want want to do is bash my head off a rock!

1. People who leave their house at the time that they say they are going to arrive at yours.

3)Sycophantic posts on FB. "My wonderful husband/son/etc. "You are my world and reason for living blah blah blah! "

People who pop their jaw or crack their knuckles, makes me shudder

Someone I knew opened their mouth when feeding their toddler, timed exactly when the child opened his mouth for the spoon. They also sometimes mimed the chewing. It appeared to be unconscious. It just looked daft! Rage!

The woman who has rung every day this week ( so far) to try and sell me home insurance. i am ignoring you now - so the phone ringing is annoying me.
Yes to 'pop' - hospitals use this word a lot.
I call Tesco 'Tescos' so i annoy myself! it is daft.

As a teaher: ok so homework is page 56, any questions, blah blah blah.

Miss, what’s the homework?

As a person living in Korea, married to a Korean: omg you can use CHOPSTICKS? OMG YOU CAN SAY HELLO IN KOREAN??!? OMG YOU KNOW KIM CHI?????

Yes, I am white. But despite that massive disadvantage, I have engaged my teeny tiny brain enough to be able to speak some Korean, operate my hands in order to do something a five year old can do and yes, crazily enough, we eat Korean food. It depends on the spirit in which it was intended, but if they’re being a twat about it, I will say ‘OMG YOU CAN USE A FORK? YOU CAN SAY HELLO? YOU KNOW MCDONALDS???’

KKKK

(Insert some disgusting sloppy or slimy food here), slurp, yum.

Something I read on here with alarming regularity.

I don't want to envision people hoovering up slimy wet food with glee. Slurp, yuck, it's up there with moist and panties in my ick word list. It both gives me the rage and makes me nauseous. If I could transport myself through the screen, I'd vomit in their eyes.

I work in a hospital - on a daily basis I see people approach a loo, see the door closed, locked, clearly red, which means it's clearly in use - people still try the handle.
Drives me mental.

People who do their banking at a cash point. Please, withdraw your money and go!

Yoghurt pot scrapers. I lived with a girl at university who would scrape and scrape the pot with her spoon, I'm sure there wasn't anything left, but she carried on until she decided she'd got it all... it's giving me the rage just typing it

my son when he makes a sandwich he but the filling on both slices of bread and then joins them together agghhh why not put them on one slice.I have to leave the room when he makes it cos it gives me the rage.

Fils voice and the way he says the word smart.
He thinks of himself as super smart, thinks he has perfect life, he is smart hi dd is smart and dh and I need to learn how to be smart like them. I don't see smart people in any sense but I smart when he uses that word

Repeating myself....which I know with 3DC I should have got used to by now. Every weekend one of the DC will ask at the table - what's the plan for today? I tell them, then invariably another DC will ask exactly the same question, repeat again......third child usually gets shouted at to actually bloody listen!

What really riles me though it that DH will usually not listen either and I end up repeating myself 4 times - thus putting me in a bad mood for the next hour.

Does anyone else get this one?:

When adverts are using a well known song, but there isn't quite enough time to play a section as it is, so they shorten the actual length of the bars of music! So instead of it being 4/4 like the actual song is (four beats to a bar), they will edit out the fourth beat. Turning it into 3/4 (three bears to a bar).

It's absolutely infuriating and very common. It changes the whole feel of the music. It was done recently on some advert with an Elvis Presley song. It gives me the rage that advertisers have the right to butcher pre existing well established music to fit an advert, and drives musicians round the twist 🤦🏻‍♀️

And yes, slow and hesitant drivers. I'm sure they cause more accidents than speeders. When they drive up to a roundabout with tonnes of space and slam the brakes on, so the person behind has to slam brakes too as they could see ahead the roundabout was clear and had anticipated both cars would keep moving.

Songs that get in my head also annoy me as i end up humming them and all day and it won't go away. there is one in the charts atm by Portugal the man and its like a loop in my head. I end up making up my own words to it.

Am sure it wouldn't bother anyone else but when visiting me or others, a friend used to wear her sunglasses on top of her head indoors approx 8 months of the year. Very rarely saw her using them.

My FIL's sense of humour: when we painted our kitchen white, he said "that looks all-white, that does" (as in 'alright'). Then we fitted a new white kitchen too. That looked "all-white" too. Every single bloody thing that happens to be the colour white, and this 'joke' gets trotted out. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to laugh politely, because it's REALLY pissing me off

Also, DDog. He's getting on a bit, and follows me around constantly - so if I'm washing the dishes for example, he's right behind me - I forget he'll be sitting there, step back, and tread on his paws. He's a constant shadow. I do love him, but really....

MIL, who when she visits, (always prearranged, she can see both cars on the drive, knows we're going to be in etc.) puts her face right up to the front window and peers through the blinds for 10 seconds, then KNOCKS ON THE WINDOW instead of using the doorbell.

I don't know why it annoys me so much. Just turn up, ring the bell and we'll let you in. One day I'm going to hide behind the sofa and jump up as she peers in. That'll teach her.

@colinthecaterpillars

On the sandwich making theme, my hubby doesn't spread the butter or put the filling right to the edges. So infuriating having to munch dry crust before I get to the tasty bit!

ExH blowing on a forkful of food to cool it down except, as he was sitting across the table from me, I would feel the blast of air too. Random and petty but it drove me nuts!

'ExH blowing on a forkful of food to cool it down'

Blowing on food and drink makes me scream too. Not sure why, it's just insanely irritating

The80s annoying earworms include Peanut Butter Jelly Time from Roblox. I can live with Do You Like Waffles?

The teensy tiny sharp little hairs that cling to every part of your body after a hair cut- those things travel far!! Dh leaving things to 'soak' - just rinse them & put them straight into the dishwasher. Dh using every pot, pan, cereal box etc to just make breakfast- kitchen looks like it's been raided after ( it is possible to put cereal boxes back in the cupboard once you've poured your cereal). DH 'chilling' after dinner leaving all the plates etc to congeal & harder to clean afterwards.

People who falsely set themselves up as a famous person on Twitter and try and reel you in. Pathetic and upsetting.

Last night after a few glasses of wine I saw that Dwayne Johnson has followed me. Was excited unto I looked further into it

Gifted instead of given. What's wrong with just saying given!?

Misuse of yourself/ourselves. Such as a letter someone actually wrote at my workplace: "ourselves have written to yourselves to clarify this issue, and yourselves have not seen fit to reply". ( becoming much more common in my workplace!)