Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

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Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

DamsonOnThisDress

I have a co-worker who tosses things at his bin, he has about a 20 to 30% accuracy rate, so the floor is basically his bin.

ThaiRedCurry

"My 11 month old has discovered her 8 teeth. She likes to crawl right up to me and stare me in the eyes whilst grinding them together! confused"

I don't know why but that made me laugh so hard, but I'm quite visual.

My husband who sweeps all the little bits of dirt up in the kitchen into a pile, then instead of getting it into a dustpan and tipping it into a bin, just fucking leaves it there.

In a pile.
A pile of dirt.
Just sitting there.

People on busy trains, two main categories thereof:

1. The 'leaves a big space down the carriage by blocking one end' commuter, who, when asked (by me in loud sarcastic tones), to 'move down please' usually with a semi-audible 'you bloody idiot' looks up in surprise and mutters crossly before shifting 6.5mm down the fucking carriage. Yes, the crossness is almost certainly because they heard me call them a bloody idiot. They are, and they deserve to be told.

1. The 'arrived 1.6 seconds before train departs, but shoves way on first' commuter. Fucking wait, you late, entitled twat. Get here four to five mins before departure, like I do, then you can be first on. It's fucking rude.

1. (Subsidiary category): the pole or partition leaner. There are not enough handholds. Fuck, there's not enough floor space, air or headroom for us all, but you go ahead and lounge, you colossal cunt. I will fist my hand around the pole in your back, and it will be deliberate.

Also: hairs stuck on me when my skin is wet - after shower not so terrible, but when washing up? I want to burn my hand off. Get off me you clingy little fuckpuffin.

Gardai and Kmc

I LOVE the Homes Under the Hammer music! To me it's so bad it's good! I try to guess what the next song will be from what they've said about the house!

My favourite was one where the buyer was a 17 year old girl (being given a serious leg up by mum and dad obviously!) and they played the first line of 'At Seventeen' but had to just play the first line several times as the rest of the lyrics just don't fit the show at all

Yes to all of the food related ones. And particularly teeth scraping on cutlery/ slurping of cereal or drinks, scraping of yoghurt pots . Also people eating crisps in the office (unreasonable, me?)

Drivers aggressively beeping their horns for no reason / when no one at fault.

Treading in a wet patch when wearing socks.

Definately instead of definitely (*include other misspellings). I've been told "definately " is an alternative way to spell it before. Was all I could do not to knife him

Thinking my baby has gone down to sleep peacefully but is then awake just as i reach the bottom of the stairs

DH waiting until i am already out of bed to see to said baby, to say 'oh i was just going to go and settle him'

Yes, it's already shaping up to be one of those nights

When one sock decides it wants to have a party on the sole of your foot and nothing is going to stop it wrinkling up every 10 seconds.

People who have fart arseing little cars, who when they park in car parks pull RIGHT into the space so you think the space is free and you get all excited. And then you get closer and realise it isn’t free after all. Ooh that gives me the RAGE 😡😡😡

This has probably already been mentioned, but people on public transport watching stuff and/or listening to music without fucking headphones. The rest of the poor captured souls on that vehicle of public access do not wish to have your tastes inflicted on them.
No, just don't do it, it is rude and inconsiderate.

A pile of coathangers all tangled up together
Toothpaste down my arm..
People who feel the need to ring the bell AND knock
People who say 'very much so'
The Go Compare advert.

People who waltz past me in public toilets, stop and look at my panicked 3 yo loudly begging me ‘not to use the hand dryer’ (he’s terrified of the noise), then use the fucking hand dryer.

Aaaaargh!

I really hate marmite. DH spreads it on his toast then puts the knife in the 2cm of water hanging around in the washing up bowl with no intention of washing it up. He never puts any other items in the sink. I have to fish it out and put it in the dishwasher
I also hate leaving the house. Trying to convince the children to put a jumper on/ find some socks/ put shoes on / find a random cuddly toy they suddenly desperately want / stop wrestling and twatting each other ... bribe them to have a wee whilst putting my own shoes on means I always forget something and end up in a mad mood.
I love the Michael Macintyre sketch of leaving the house pre kids and after kids

People 'placemarking' on Mumsnet. There are easily used bookmark and watch thread features. No need for thread after thread clogged up with

.

People who don't know the difference between 'lend' and 'borrow'. SIL regularly texts to ask if she can lend a dvd, or lend my steam cleaner. I always reply with 'who are you going to lend it to?' And she STILL doesn't correct it

A northern Irish one here..every person I meet when I go home puts the word 'wee' in front of everything:

• would you like a wee cup of tea
• here's your wee receipt
• go on and put your wee card in the wee machine

Drives me up the fucking wall!!

My NDN who have lived in their house for 7 years and still don't put their bins out properly. Plastic bags and tins in the composting bin, no lids on the recycling bins into which they put any old junk. Then the wind blows it all over my garden. Today I was picking up their used tissues and the polystyrene packaging from the new microwave - the old one is in their glass recycling bin. Three bloody times as it was so windy. Next time it happens I am going to bag it up and hang it on their front door....or maybe chuck it over their back fence in the dead of night. And I can't say anything to them because their grasp of English is not great - unless they want a favour in which case it improves dramatically.

My sunglasses on top of my head whilst in a supermarket or whatever and then l can feel them on the go starting to slide down my head back onto my nose and its always when l'm using both hands and can't do a fecking thing about it. Causes indescribable rage and l have a real urge to rip them off my face, throw them to the ground and stamp repeatedly on them. Thankfully l've resisted thus far.

The word pop. It seems so overused on Mumsnet. Thread after thread. Just pop to the shop, pop it in her bag, pop it in the basket, pop it down to her and so on. Who knew it was such an extensive and expansive synonym.

Good grief it’s everywhere and when I start seeing it I seem to find yet ever more instances of how this word can be used.

When I rule the world the word ‘pop’ will be banned.

Haha Jiminy me too l always threaten to shunt the next little bastard hiding dinky car into the space Only to myself in the confines of my car l hasten to add.

People like my ex sil who called Tesco...Asda and Aldi.....Tescos....Asdas and Aldis....why do people do that? Its fucking Tesco not Tescos !!!

My sister lives in Australia so I don't see her very much. Rather than setting time aside maybe once a week she will FaceTime or Messenger me when she is busy doing something else and is always in a hurry. I'll say you're busy so get back to me when you're free. To which she'll say it's fine. Then we might be talking about family, friends, work etc and she will scream something to her dp in the next room completely randomly and unexpectedly then turn back to me and say go on. Then when I'm maybe 3-4 words in she'll shout "What?!" back to her dp. She also takes infuriating long and loud gulps of her drink. I will take a sip. She will make a gluuug... gluuug... gluuug...
Honestly I love her and she is fab in person but not over the phone etc.

@deux my nan calls farts ‘pops’ so I always get a (childish) fit of the giggles whenever I see the word

Dh and cycling. Its something he got into about 5-6 years ago.
1 He has rollers that he uses every night without fail. They make the house rumble.
2 He has more bikes than any normal person needs. 3 in the hall and 3 in the now ex dining room.
3 He physically unable to drive past a cyclist without mentioning it. Whether its the tyres need pumping or the gears too high/low.
4 considers himself the leading authority on all cycling related matters. Will spend lots of time in the garages/gardens of friends and family critiquing purchases.
5 shouts me into the room to show me something I'm not arsed about in bike world usually on fb/twitter/YouTube. Would go mad if I did that.
6 Has no sense of humour about bike world. Ds asked him if Bike was short for bicycle and was not amused.
7 wears leggings without considering his family's right to a bulge free view.
8 Won't attach the rear light in the shape of a pair dangling balls I bought him.

In my last post I meant ds asked if Bike was short Bichael (as in Mike/Michael). ds (then aged 8) and his little sisters thought this was hysterical. Probably because dh was so unimpressed.