Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

[user1497787373]

Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

[sproutsandparsnips]

Signs which state, 'No Parking, drive in constant use' (punctuation my own).
No, it's 'drive in FREQUENT use', or 'drive often used', or even better 'drive frequently used'.

[WhiteFreesias]

Couple of TV ones.

The Sky advert for LaLa Land. When Emma Stone stands on the bench that yellow dress is right up the crack of her arse.

The missing raspberry on
the cake on the Bake Off opening credits - Another Slice cake is fine.

[Tiddler7]

People on the underground standing by the door, middle if the carriage empty, yet they will not move down to let more people in

[Tiddler7]

Of

[Chinesecrested]

When the top shelf of the dishwasher comes loose and I have to ask either Ds or DH to fix it and they DONT DO IT QUICKLY ENOUGH! I was so cross this morning that I absentmindedly poured milk in the kettle instead of water!

[CocoaGin]

DH has got an awful habit of making toast at 11pm at night. And he butters it on the fucking worktop. Every morning I come down to a pile of crumbs on the counter and on the floor, and more often not, the tub of butter and the milk left out with a dirty knife and glass.

And we've had Sky Q for over a year. And he still can't work the fucking remote. If he asks me "how do I find the Walking Dead" once more, he'll be joining them.

[flubdub]

Bread, that breaks and crumbles into a pile of shit when you're trying to eat it. Oh my god. It makes me actually cry because I get so mad. Cheap bread, I'm looking at you.

People Americans that can't speak without an upwards inflection at the end, so that every sentence sounds like a question.

DH not being able enter a room without making some kind of noise; be it farting, burping (extra points for longer, ridiculously loud ones), coughing.

DS7 who somehow hears the words "Stand there naked for 20 minutes with one sock on", when I ask him to put his pyjamas on.

DH waking up EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. at 11.30 and going downstairs to make a sandwich, again, making as much noise (and mess) as possible.

Peoples that say they're "board" instead of "bored".

People that park behind my parking space on the road so that I can't back out of my space without doing a 134 point turn. I have a 9 seater car. I NEED the room to back out, and the 5 cars lined up behind me makes it so difficult.
It happens every day.

[flubdub]

@CocoaGin Are you married to my DH too?

[flubdub]

DH that still can't stack a dishwasher, despite being 38. He doesn't understand why bowls and cups won't come clean when they are put in the dishwasher the right side up, not upside down, so they just come out full of grey murky water and STILL GODDAM DIRTY.

[eloisesparkle]

People putting the word 'like' randomly into a sentence.
It's endemic in parts of Dublin and California.

People saying 'I seen' instead of 'I saw'
or ' I done it' instead of 'I did it' .
Endemic all over Ireland despite free education for all.

[Bexter801]

I do put like at end of every sentence I can't stop myself!

[Hoopspoops]

When someone is kind enough to make me a cup of tea but doesn’t stir it sufficiently. I am left with 3/4 of a cup of no sugar tea and then the last ¼ of sugary, over sweet sludge. You need to stir it more than once or twice!! Grrr.

[darkriver198868]

the clicking of a lighter.
For some reason it makes me want to grab my friends lighter and shove it where the sun doesnt shine.

Also listening to someone eat.

[ToPlanZ]

People snooking up their snot. Blow your goddamn nose!!

Toilet seats left up. Incandescent with rage at the thought.

[DesertIslandPenguin]

DH loads the dishwasher from the front, making the basket unbalanced when you pull it out. Winds me right up.

[BeautyGoesToBenidorm]

The sound of my DC chomping loudly on whatever they're eating. I swear they even chomp on soup. Also, when they clack their spoons against their teeth - makes me cringe.

Asking DH to clean the kitchen. He'll load the dishwasher (also in a way that makes me rage), but leave the sides covered in food crap, leave bottles of sauce out etc. IT IS NOT HARD TO GRAB AN ANTIBAC WIPE, IS IT.

DH and MIL saying 'You was' instead of 'You were'.

Reminding DS1, approximately 80 times every bloody morning, to fucking well get dressed and no, one sock on in 20 minutes doesn't count as 'getting dressed'.

A particularly annoying colleague, who tries to mansplain every single aspect of the job that I have done - extremely fucking well - for 18 years. A job he's never done, but he's seen it on TV, therefore he is Right and I am Wrong.

DH farting, then exclaiming 'Ooh, windypops!' - piss off mate, you're nearly 42!

[MyRunMyPace]

I dislike people saying Enjoy in response to a FB post or whatever 😡.

I've thought about why this might be, and I think it's:

1. It sounds like they've graciously decided to allow you to enjoy the thing in question.
2. They couldn't be bothered to construct an actual sentence.

I realise that I'm probably being entirely unreasonable.

[user1andonly]

Beauty my Dad chews soup. No idea how or why but he does!