Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

[user1497787373]

Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

[user1andonly]

Beauty my Dad chews soup. No idea how or why but he does!

[MyRunMyPace]

I dislike people saying Enjoy in response to a FB post or whatever 😡.

I've thought about why this might be, and I think it's:

1. It sounds like they've graciously decided to allow you to enjoy the thing in question.
2. They couldn't be bothered to construct an actual sentence.

I realise that I'm probably being entirely unreasonable.

[BeautyGoesToBenidorm]

The sound of my DC chomping loudly on whatever they're eating. I swear they even chomp on soup. Also, when they clack their spoons against their teeth - makes me cringe.

Asking DH to clean the kitchen. He'll load the dishwasher (also in a way that makes me rage), but leave the sides covered in food crap, leave bottles of sauce out etc. IT IS NOT HARD TO GRAB AN ANTIBAC WIPE, IS IT.

DH and MIL saying 'You was' instead of 'You were'.

Reminding DS1, approximately 80 times every bloody morning, to fucking well get dressed and no, one sock on in 20 minutes doesn't count as 'getting dressed'.

A particularly annoying colleague, who tries to mansplain every single aspect of the job that I have done - extremely fucking well - for 18 years. A job he's never done, but he's seen it on TV, therefore he is Right and I am Wrong.

DH farting, then exclaiming 'Ooh, windypops!' - piss off mate, you're nearly 42!

[DesertIslandPenguin]

DH loads the dishwasher from the front, making the basket unbalanced when you pull it out. Winds me right up.

[ToPlanZ]

People snooking up their snot. Blow your goddamn nose!!

Toilet seats left up. Incandescent with rage at the thought.

[darkriver198868]

the clicking of a lighter.
For some reason it makes me want to grab my friends lighter and shove it where the sun doesnt shine.

Also listening to someone eat.

[Hoopspoops]

When someone is kind enough to make me a cup of tea but doesn’t stir it sufficiently. I am left with 3/4 of a cup of no sugar tea and then the last ¼ of sugary, over sweet sludge. You need to stir it more than once or twice!! Grrr.

[Bexter801]

I do put like at end of every sentence I can't stop myself!

[eloisesparkle]

People putting the word 'like' randomly into a sentence.
It's endemic in parts of Dublin and California.

People saying 'I seen' instead of 'I saw'
or ' I done it' instead of 'I did it' .
Endemic all over Ireland despite free education for all.

[flubdub]

DH that still can't stack a dishwasher, despite being 38. He doesn't understand why bowls and cups won't come clean when they are put in the dishwasher the right side up, not upside down, so they just come out full of grey murky water and STILL GODDAM DIRTY.

[flubdub]

@CocoaGin Are you married to my DH too?

[flubdub]

Bread, that breaks and crumbles into a pile of shit when you're trying to eat it. Oh my god. It makes me actually cry because I get so mad. Cheap bread, I'm looking at you.

People Americans that can't speak without an upwards inflection at the end, so that every sentence sounds like a question.

DH not being able enter a room without making some kind of noise; be it farting, burping (extra points for longer, ridiculously loud ones), coughing.

DS7 who somehow hears the words "Stand there naked for 20 minutes with one sock on", when I ask him to put his pyjamas on.

DH waking up EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. at 11.30 and going downstairs to make a sandwich, again, making as much noise (and mess) as possible.

Peoples that say they're "board" instead of "bored".

People that park behind my parking space on the road so that I can't back out of my space without doing a 134 point turn. I have a 9 seater car. I NEED the room to back out, and the 5 cars lined up behind me makes it so difficult.
It happens every day.

[CocoaGin]

DH has got an awful habit of making toast at 11pm at night. And he butters it on the fucking worktop. Every morning I come down to a pile of crumbs on the counter and on the floor, and more often not, the tub of butter and the milk left out with a dirty knife and glass.

And we've had Sky Q for over a year. And he still can't work the fucking remote. If he asks me "how do I find the Walking Dead" once more, he'll be joining them.

[Chinesecrested]

When the top shelf of the dishwasher comes loose and I have to ask either Ds or DH to fix it and they DONT DO IT QUICKLY ENOUGH! I was so cross this morning that I absentmindedly poured milk in the kettle instead of water!

[Tiddler7]

Of

[Tiddler7]

People on the underground standing by the door, middle if the carriage empty, yet they will not move down to let more people in

[WhiteFreesias]

Couple of TV ones.

The Sky advert for LaLa Land. When Emma Stone stands on the bench that yellow dress is right up the crack of her arse.

The missing raspberry on
the cake on the Bake Off opening credits - Another Slice cake is fine.

[sproutsandparsnips]

Signs which state, 'No Parking, drive in constant use' (punctuation my own).
No, it's 'drive in FREQUENT use', or 'drive often used', or even better 'drive frequently used'.

[SheNumpty]

My other half puts rubbish next to the bin. Next to it. It's literally two inches to the left of where he leaves it. The lid is broken and so is permanently up, he doesn't even have to lift the bastard thing, and he still does it. I seriously think he's doing it to piss me off now. Probably thinks he's being cute but im ready to chuck him out over it. It's that or stab him next time.

[Bexter801]

@ALongHardWinter,it must be intentional! I can't count how many time's I've proposed 'wanna hope on my back while your there'

[ALongHardWinter]

Bexter You sound like me. I walk very slowly as I'm disabled so if someone is walking right behind me (practically stepping on my heels in the process) it means that they must also be walking very slowly. And IME,very few people actually need to/want to walk that slow,so it strikes me that they are doing it on purpose to be annoying. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid......

[RedBear88]

@clevs "People mainly Millennials who start every sentence with 'so'." - OMG! It drives me insane. Guy at work does it constantly! I had to stop myself smacking him yesterday.
I know very soon I will have a go at him for this. Glad it's not just me.

[LimonViola]

countingkids123 yep. And people who, for reasons that are genuinely inexplicable to me, use 'brought' instead of 'bought'.

I'm seeing it on here a lot lately. 'I went shopping and brought some new shoes'

It doesn't even make any sense! Gives me serious rage. Even saw 'we brought a house' the other day!

[Bexter801]

I can't handle people walking practically next to me on the footpath,behind or in front,one or the other like....I'm slowing down,speeding up,they do the same...move,please just MOVE. And by ds has now adopted drinking tea,slurp,slurp,sluuuurrrrp,every mouthful. I'm considering not buying tea,milk and sugar,actually that's genius,I'm not getting them anymore(i drink black coffee )...I sit there,silently simmering,wanting to grab the cup and launch it out the window.

[countingkids123]

When people write his instead of he’s