Petty random things that make you want to lose your shit

[user1497787373]

Colleague buys 2 bananas every Monday. Has done so ever since I've worked there (1+ year). They sit on her desk until they go bad and then get thrown away on a Friday. EVERY week. I've never seen her eat one of the damn things yet come Monday another 2 take up residence on her desk.

Otherwise she's a lovely woman and a great pal. But those bananas... just looking at them makes me ragey.

Anyone else have totally petty, pointless things that you should ignore but instead feeds the inner rage demon?

I will just stick with 'things that have annoyed me today' as otherwise it would be a very long list...

• People not saying thank you when I have clearly stood back (complete with hand wave) to let them past/through door/down escalator, etc.

• People jumping the bus queue.

• My OH not putting things in the dishwasher, even though it's empty and waiting to receive dirty items.

• Boy racers screeching up and down the street, which is primarily a residential area.

• The supermarket having a big gap on the shelf where the thing I want to buy, should live.

Stupid words. I have blocked more than one person on Facebook for using "nom."

Flat whites.

People that don't let you off buses/trains/generally any door that lets people out of somewhere - SO RUDE.

My colleague, because she is an absolute CF. it's come to the point where her even breathing annoys me now.

Yesterday I left half a sugar sachet and twisted it to save it & use for a different cup of tea later - she comes out to me and asks who left the half sugar sachet with the sachets and to make sure I use them, so I'm say listen, I will do whatever I want with the sugar sachet mind your own business. I don't need you trying to tell me what to do. It sounds small but she's a sneaky cow. She'd go behind your back and say/twist things. She lies too.

Queue skippers - that gets under my skin!

People having an obsession with avocados - Or "avo on toast" nope.

People who sneeze without covering it

People who cough without covering it

People who are rude to waiters/waitresses/any customer service role

PDA

Wanky men who post wanky selfies and wanky videos on nights out

People who pictures of cash

The list goes on.. 🙄

Lol

DH asking me to reset the time on his phone because technology is an alien language to him, then having a tantrum because I asked him why the date said "01.12.2012." 😠😠😠😠😠

People waiting until I've left the room before remembering one other thing to talk to me about. Four steps along the landing and then "Muuuuummm?"

Calling it "haitch"

Dropping something for no good reason, even if it doesn't break, makes me soooooooo angry.

Bashing my head getting into a car makes me about as angry as it's possible to get.

So I'm clumsy with a quick temper!!

I have found my people!
Mine are based largely around the sounds of people eating...
Cereal
Chewing gum
Scraping teeth along a forks, spoons etc NO ONE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT!
Eating with mouth wide open and talking!
Just the sound of food schlopping around in peoples mouths.

I once hung up on a colleague because they started eating an apple whilst talking to me.

@TheQueenSnortsAvocados Flat whites.

There's a really annoying ad on the radio for Costa Coffee at the moment, talking about Flat Whites. There's a line in it where the lady (pretending to be a flat white...) says "made by a CostaBarista" and she says it like that

When DH phones me, I say hello and he replies "give me a sec". You phoned me, you fucking arsehole, do you that no you could maybe choose a moment that's free from worktwatmates gooning around in the background.

While I'm at it don't put your work bum chum on the phone to say hello, I have no desire to speak to a random knuckle dragger that I don't know.

*do you think that you could maybe choose a moment

Damn tablet auto correct.

One that bothered me today.

I had to send out a group email to all our students, so I asked them to write down their addresses.

Out of 20 students, 5 of the emails were returned. This is partly because all of them have ridiculous email addresses like [email protected] so I can't even tell where I'm going wrong. Just put something like firstnamelastname87 or whatever so I stand a slight chance. I've spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what the addresses could be, but it's hopeless.

Proper giggling at bike being short for Bichael

I also like the word "cross". And "frock".

What gives me the rage? People who put stuff in their trolley and then suddenly decide they don't want to buy it so just shove it back on whichever shelf they are next to, eg yogurt put on the shampoo shelf. THANKS BASTARDS. We now can't sell the yogurt and I have to traipse about all over the store with armfuls of random crap because you are too lazy to put it back where you found it. Also goes for banana skins, orange peel and apple cores, don't hide them behind the Ella's Kitchen pouches so we don't find them for three days, take a bag with you you lazy twats.

• catching my dressing gown sleeve on door handles.
• noisy eating

-people using devices without headphones in public

• overuse of “yourself” etc

-hubby, bubba, bubz, hun, dahl and tasty -standing in a pool of something in socks -wankers who pronounce naturalised loanwords with the pronunciation of the source language; “zhakootsi” for jacuzzi for example. -people who let their dogs off-lead and don’t pick up their shit because they conveniently don’t see it thanks to studiously not looking. -women who emerge from the airplane bog after 20 minutes, shortly before landing, with a full face of slap and clutching a makeup bag. As a long queue stand cross-legged waiting.

Supermarket till staff who blow their noses or wipe their runny noses with their hands and then handle your fruit etc. Just yuk.

When you return a faulty item of clothing to a shop (M and S that's you) and the staff members says "Well, we've not had any others returned". Well, you have now sunshine. As though I made it become bobbly and old looking within a week. Or "did you wash it properly". No, I thought I would ruin it so I could trail all the way back for you to be patronising to me.

Shop assistants who think their shops returns policy is more important that the Consumer Rights Act ie you can only have a gift voucher for a faulty item - That's you Next. Getting the manager out so she can inspect the item like a policeman but not before making you wait for ages for her arrival. Remembering never to apologise under any circumstances.

Oh gosh yes I hate getting my clothes caught on the door handle, it feels so humiliating, like are my clothing and house actually going to prevent me from moving from one room to another? I always feel quite degraded and indignant and like I need to remind them that I wear the clothes and I pay the rent 😡

People who say 'expresso'

People who make an unrelated tragedy about them. Case in point, a Facebook status I just saw regarding that poor woman, Jennifer Riordian, who died being sucked out of a plane window yesterday. 'Oh my god I can't believe it, RIP poor woman! My mum was on a flight yesterday it could so easily have been here, omg I can't believe it, I feel sick with shock' etc etc. Not even the same plane or destination or anything.

I worked with a woman who would come in at midday, take the communal office newspapers off to the loo for an hour long poo. Then place the newspaper back on the receptionists desk.
grrrrrrrrr. no one wants your poo papers now!

"Chris Packham - shut up man, just shut up. He was on The Chase and was asked what a baby hedgehog is called, I shouted out “hoglet” he said “kitten.” HA, in your face Packham. One to me, and he gets to call himself an expert"

@Sproutpie you may want to have quick google first....

"Young hedgehog found alone | RSPCA
www.rspca.org.uk › wildlife › you...
If you find an uninjured baby hedgehog (also known as a 'hoglet')" one quote from one of the many websites that stated there was no established word for a baby hedgehog or they were known as hoglets. Chris Packham with his aspergers and huge interest in animals is probably right.

Mine is people. People annoy me.

Bollocks @Sproutpie, disregard my previous post. I completely read it as CP said hoglet and you said kitten 😂😂😂.

Limon they are grief vampires they flutter about looking for something to pounce on I cant work out if it is arrogance or stupidiity that makes them sayomg it could have been me/ mychild /the dog

Dh only buttering one peice of bread in a sandwhich. Drives me mental
Also putting the keys in the fruit bowl- WHY !!! We have a key hook

He's very good at changing the loo roll but then leaves the tube on the floor!

When DH phones me, I say hello and he replies "give me a sec

Mine does this too! I immediately hang up.

Facebook tragedy checking in is a good thing, but it hasn't helped those who make things about themselves. When there was the awful incident at Westminster bridge, for example, people I know who live/work well over 10 miles away (which is like 100 miles in central London, given traffic, tubes etc!), were all busily marking themselves safe.

Oh yes, key misplacers!!!!!

Every house I have ever lived in has had a key bowl or a set of key hooks. The bowl/hooks are in a suitably convenient location and mean that if you put your keys in/on it, then you will know where they are when they are needed again. Touch wood, I have never lost a set of keys, because I put them in the key bowl or on the hooks!!!!!!! Not so, DM, ex-H and now DS who are incapable of putting their keys in the bowl. Lots of frantic searching, turning the house upside down because 'someone' has lost their keys. No, you have lost your keys because you didn't put them in the one place where they should be and you'd be able to find them again. Grrrrrr!

Today specifically.Going to make my early morning cuppa and finding the tea bags caddy empty -again- and having to mountaineer onto the worktop to refill from the catering size bag we keep in the top cupboard.DH can reach it easily but never fills the caddy up .
This afternoon coming in desperate for a nice coffe and finding the coffee cannister empty-again.
In a similar vein being the only person who seems capable of replenishing the loo rolls.
Water going into my rubber gloves.Wet sleeves.
Trying umpteen toilet cubicles to find one that hasn't got a wet seat /something disgusting in it /or no loo roll

I once hung up on a colleague because they started eating an apple whilst talking to me.

You are my hero. I had fight-or-flight reactions last week as a colleague of mine turned up to my meeting with an apple. I was very, very, very close to screaming at her that we'd reschedule for when she WASN'T EATING HER FUCKING APPLE.

She has also been known to turn up to phone conferences with THREE apples ('sorry I've had no breakfast'). In those moments, I've prayed for our clients to pull her up on it. She's very self absorbed.

Listening to my 6yo DS eat or drink anything. Makes me feel absolutely awful, but the sound makes me so angry I have to leave the room so I don’t say anything sometimes. Usually though I just grit my teeth.